[It's soft, shaky. Because it isn't alright, and on some level- it won't ever be, again. Because there's a young child who never got to connect with his father, never got to know him, and know that love and trust and respect could grow between them. Because there's their family shattered- spread out across the world, fractured with the loss of Bruce and the weight of Dick's decisions in the aftermath.
Because he feels like a child wearing his father's clothes, and still far too small and tripping in the shoes he's meant to fill. Has done it, even though he's never wanted to, believes that- because he thinks it's what Bruce would have wanted, and is the best way to honour him. Because Alfred had believed he was the best man to carry out that legacy. Because he'd wanted to save his siblings from that burden. From disappearing into someone else, instead of forging their own paths, the way that he had.
Because he still wishes he had Bruce to tell him what to do, because he still has moments of looking at a case and feeling like Bruce could have done it better. Been faster. Been not as clumsy under a cowl, because no matter the adjustments, Dick still can't get a handle on his lack of peripheral vision. And he's never coming back.
This changes nothing. The tears slip out unbidden, silent and byproduct of having squeezing his eyes shut against the overwhelming way that he feels. Says instead, soft, wet- and weighted]
no subject
[It's soft, shaky. Because it isn't alright, and on some level- it won't ever be, again. Because there's a young child who never got to connect with his father, never got to know him, and know that love and trust and respect could grow between them. Because there's their family shattered- spread out across the world, fractured with the loss of Bruce and the weight of Dick's decisions in the aftermath.
Because he feels like a child wearing his father's clothes, and still far too small and tripping in the shoes he's meant to fill. Has done it, even though he's never wanted to, believes that- because he thinks it's what Bruce would have wanted, and is the best way to honour him. Because Alfred had believed he was the best man to carry out that legacy. Because he'd wanted to save his siblings from that burden. From disappearing into someone else, instead of forging their own paths, the way that he had.
Because he still wishes he had Bruce to tell him what to do, because he still has moments of looking at a case and feeling like Bruce could have done it better. Been faster. Been not as clumsy under a cowl, because no matter the adjustments, Dick still can't get a handle on his lack of peripheral vision. And he's never coming back.
This changes nothing. The tears slip out unbidden, silent and byproduct of having squeezing his eyes shut against the overwhelming way that he feels. Says instead, soft, wet- and weighted]
I missed you.