does he mean for it to placate, to soothe? if he were a better man than he is now, perhaps jiang cheng could lessen, as fires would die for want of oxygen. perhaps he could soften, seeing lan wangji as he is now - seeing the way his gaze wavers and fixes itself, the way his words grow thin. but jiang cheng does not see. he chooses not to see. ]
So it does not matter.
Not to you, anyway. You say you have noticed, but why? Why now? [ why, even still? why, when all jiang cheng could do is rip and tear and hurt? when all he could do is not to heal but to layer scars upon scarred flesh?
he can only be as he is now. he can only rage and flicker against the seemingly immovable barrier that lan wangji is. to dash himself into pieces before him, bit by bit. ]
You say it is ridiculous. I know it already. I am not as Wei Wuxian - I know what I am. [ not good enough. not enough of anything. ] Do not tell me you have noticed. If it were not for him, we could have- [ could have been, what they have always been; strangers. ] You could have-
no subject
when does not matter.
does he mean for it to placate, to soothe? if he were a better man than he is now, perhaps jiang cheng could lessen, as fires would die for want of oxygen. perhaps he could soften, seeing lan wangji as he is now - seeing the way his gaze wavers and fixes itself, the way his words grow thin. but jiang cheng does not see. he chooses not to see. ]
So it does not matter.
Not to you, anyway. You say you have noticed, but why? Why now? [ why, even still? why, when all jiang cheng could do is rip and tear and hurt? when all he could do is not to heal but to layer scars upon scarred flesh?
he can only be as he is now. he can only rage and flicker against the seemingly immovable barrier that lan wangji is. to dash himself into pieces before him, bit by bit. ]
You say it is ridiculous. I know it already. I am not as Wei Wuxian - I know what I am. [ not good enough. not enough of anything. ] Do not tell me you have noticed. If it were not for him, we could have- [ could have been, what they have always been; strangers. ] You could have-
[ suffered so much less. ]