[Most days, he suspects he's benefited more than Abel has in this dynamic. Maybe that's not fair to say, because he knows they've both had ups and downs through the course of all that's happened, but truth stands somewhere. As much as Abel is proud of who he is when they're together, Cain is certain he's made a better person because of it. He doesn't know how to put that into words so simply. Abel makes it seem effortless. Is a part of him still stuck in cowardly fear of what it could mean if he's wrong?

What it could mean if, deep down, he's not as good a person as Abel believes he is? Apart from what happened with the Alliance, maybe Abel would have gone on to meet some other soft-hearted person who wanted to be open to love and emotions and could draw Abel out of his shell. Cain's not delusional enough to think he's the only person in the world who's suited for Abel. He doesn't believe in soulmates.

But now that he has this, he's too selfish to let it go. Whoever else could have opened Abel's eyes to the world don't matter, because they're not here. Maybe it's another world, one of the countless separate parallel realities that seem to wind like ribbons through the universe, as New Amsterdam has shown him, but it isn't this one they're in now. That matters to Cain. His hold tightens slightly.]

Would've been worse. Would've been stuck in prison for years, who knows how long, if they hadn't offered me that deal. Don't regret taking it either. [He lets out a thin breath.] And I know you're not. But I can be happy it happened to me, right?

[This is a far better future than he thought was laid out for himself.]

You wanna go back to our bed now?