[ the 'thanks' sounds insincere. scripted. the kind of thing she knows she's supposed to say to someone offering her this olive branch. how many times had she done the same thing to buffy? it's a defense mechanism. pushes them both apart, vigorously. she's glad for the gloves, for the distraction of medical attention. ]
I'm used to it.
[ she's not.
she's never been the only one. she'd wanted to be. and in that way, zerzura had been a paradise. she'd gotten the chance to imagine herself as a lone hero while everyone else was out of their damn minds. no buffy. but that wasn't really paradise at all, was it? she wanted people. she just didn't know how to be close to them -- didn't know how to share that space, or share experiences.
no subject
[ the 'thanks' sounds insincere. scripted. the kind of thing she knows she's supposed to say to someone offering her this olive branch. how many times had she done the same thing to buffy? it's a defense mechanism. pushes them both apart, vigorously. she's glad for the gloves, for the distraction of medical attention. ]
I'm used to it.
[ she's not.
she's never been the only one. she'd wanted to be. and in that way, zerzura had been a paradise. she'd gotten the chance to imagine herself as a lone hero while everyone else was out of their damn minds. no buffy. but that wasn't really paradise at all, was it? she wanted people. she just didn't know how to be close to them -- didn't know how to share that space, or share experiences.
she still doesn't know how to. ]