[ The shake of her head betrays the truth: she's so lost. There's no one she knows except Ben with so much darkness in his blood, and despite having just as much good in him, he'd turned towards the dark, cloaked himself in it like armor and dubbed himself Kylo Ren. She doesn't know how to do that. She doesn't want that for herself.
So as much as it's easy to accept what Riku's saying — that her own actions are driven by the dark too, that it already has its claws in her, especially given what Daenerys had said to her when she'd reached out in that dream — it's much harder to imagine that coming back to New Amsterdam will make it any easier.
Seeing Kylo Ren, she knows, will make it harder. It already had, in her dreams. ]
How am I supposed to ... [ She can't find the words. Reaching up, she wipes tears away when she realizes they're cascading freely, rolling in steady streams down her cheeks. ] You can't help me with this. No one can. And I can't change who I am. It's better if I'm out of the way. [ At least here, she can't hurt anyone. The image of Daenerys' slit throat haunts her. ]
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[ The shake of her head betrays the truth: she's so lost. There's no one she knows except Ben with so much darkness in his blood, and despite having just as much good in him, he'd turned towards the dark, cloaked himself in it like armor and dubbed himself Kylo Ren. She doesn't know how to do that. She doesn't want that for herself.
So as much as it's easy to accept what Riku's saying — that her own actions are driven by the dark too, that it already has its claws in her, especially given what Daenerys had said to her when she'd reached out in that dream — it's much harder to imagine that coming back to New Amsterdam will make it any easier.
Seeing Kylo Ren, she knows, will make it harder. It already had, in her dreams. ]
How am I supposed to ... [ She can't find the words. Reaching up, she wipes tears away when she realizes they're cascading freely, rolling in steady streams down her cheeks. ] You can't help me with this. No one can. And I can't change who I am. It's better if I'm out of the way. [ At least here, she can't hurt anyone. The image of Daenerys' slit throat haunts her. ]