[The silence stretches out, and Kyna realizes her spine has gone ramrod straight, shoulders hunched up. She's never been good at waiting, but she waits for this, ignoring the way her heart rate has ratcheted up. She doesn't talk about her dad with anyone, and this feels like standing on the edge of a cliff.
And then he brushes it off. Acts like she never even mentioned it. Somehow, that's worse than if he'd told her he didn't care. Hurt flares up, then anger, defensive and seething. She manages, just barely, to stamp it down, because she still knows what he's doing. Now that they're face to face, it's so fucking obvious. Is she this transparent when she tries to keep herself carefully distanced? For all her frustration with him, the cowardice of it is making her so much angrier at herself, for every time she's panicked and shoved someone away.
He's eyeing her arm like he's trying to figure out exactly how to do this without touching her, and suddenly that loneliness hits her again, laced with self-loathing. There's a tiny part of her that's still trying to insist it's her fault, but the truth is there in his face, plain as day. Impulsively, she reaches out with her free hand to grab his wrist, fingers sticky with drying blood.]
Are you more scared of me than the fucking monsters?
no subject
And then he brushes it off. Acts like she never even mentioned it. Somehow, that's worse than if he'd told her he didn't care. Hurt flares up, then anger, defensive and seething. She manages, just barely, to stamp it down, because she still knows what he's doing. Now that they're face to face, it's so fucking obvious. Is she this transparent when she tries to keep herself carefully distanced? For all her frustration with him, the cowardice of it is making her so much angrier at herself, for every time she's panicked and shoved someone away.
He's eyeing her arm like he's trying to figure out exactly how to do this without touching her, and suddenly that loneliness hits her again, laced with self-loathing. There's a tiny part of her that's still trying to insist it's her fault, but the truth is there in his face, plain as day. Impulsively, she reaches out with her free hand to grab his wrist, fingers sticky with drying blood.]
Are you more scared of me than the fucking monsters?