[ for all the little ways they've learned to communicate with one another, refined and reinforced by how much closer they've gotten in new amsterdam, carolina knows when wash is trying to get her attention. knows she should look up, that she owes him that.

but it still takes a long moment for her to make sure she's not going to cry, for her to feel steady enough to look up at him again. ]

You weren't breathing for a while. It did damage to your brain and even though Grey did her best to help you, she couldn't undo that. A lot of the time, you're still you, you've just forgotten all of this, which is a good thing. [ even if that makes carolina's own healing process an incredibly lonely one. ] But then it's like something just turns off and I lose you, for some bit of time. Minutes or hours or whole days, sometimes, when it's really bad.