（ devora's fucking tits, aidan, you can't just say things like that and not expect jai to react some kind of way. he freezes, halfway out of the booth, hands braced on the table.
every once in a while he has to fight some old urge. some instinct. there are times when he takes someone down where he wants to hit them until they're fucking meat. his fingers spasm against the table, physical manifestation of the urge to hit something. but there are other ways his cruelty jumps out — he could just as easily open his mouth and say something scathing that will make aidan take it all back so he doesn't have to fucking deal with actually parsing any deeper meaning to what he just said.
but the problem is that for all those urges that live beneath his skin, they're all — generalized. hurting people. anonymous ones, ones he doesn't have to deal with or think about or care for. aidan's out of that lump sum. has been for a while. and jai doesn't want to hit him or. anything else that hurts, for that matter.
he finishes straightening up without any more incident than the fact his knuckles have gone white with how rigid they'd gone against the tabletop. ）
no subject
every once in a while he has to fight some old urge. some instinct. there are times when he takes someone down where he wants to hit them until they're fucking meat. his fingers spasm against the table, physical manifestation of the urge to hit something. but there are other ways his cruelty jumps out — he could just as easily open his mouth and say something scathing that will make aidan take it all back so he doesn't have to fucking deal with actually parsing any deeper meaning to what he just said.
but the problem is that for all those urges that live beneath his skin, they're all — generalized. hurting people. anonymous ones, ones he doesn't have to deal with or think about or care for. aidan's out of that lump sum. has been for a while. and jai doesn't want to hit him or. anything else that hurts, for that matter.
he finishes straightening up without any more incident than the fact his knuckles have gone white with how rigid they'd gone against the tabletop. ）
Yeah, well, you're an idiot.
（ his voice is. rough. ）