( the silence isn't surprising, either. aidan is still climbing the thin rope to the top whereas jai's been there for--fuck, long enough that it counts. long enough that it means he's out out, not just--toying at the idea of it. jai's learned to live with it; how dull everything feels when he isn't high. empty. flat. colorless.
and he knows the science behind it. knows once you fuck up your brain into expecting an overload of dopamine it fucks itself over, it's never quite the same without it and it wants and wants. aches for it.
oil starts to splatter on the pan, which as good a sign as any to throw the fish onto it. the drawer to the right of the oven gets pulled open, taking out a fork so he can use it to flip it when it seems about time. it won't be amazing or even decent fish but it'll be edible. his hand raises, fork between fingers, to shove his knuckles against his nose.
habit more than discomfort. )
Be better if you weren't there.
( but since jai decided to grace aidan with his presence, he'll turn into him a little. offer a little half-smile. )
Who else would've stayed by you? It's not like you have any friends, loser.
no subject
and he knows the science behind it. knows once you fuck up your brain into expecting an overload of dopamine it fucks itself over, it's never quite the same without it and it wants and wants. aches for it.
oil starts to splatter on the pan, which as good a sign as any to throw the fish onto it. the drawer to the right of the oven gets pulled open, taking out a fork so he can use it to flip it when it seems about time. it won't be amazing or even decent fish but it'll be edible. his hand raises, fork between fingers, to shove his knuckles against his nose.
habit more than discomfort. )
Be better if you weren't there.
( but since jai decided to grace aidan with his presence, he'll turn into him a little. offer a little half-smile. )
Who else would've stayed by you? It's not like you have any friends, loser.