[Push hard? Or be a little more real, a little more sensitive? There are some things about that experience that Sam knows he can write off. Everything with Kyna is weird, but it's the kind of thing that's so disparate from reality (and his feelings for Eileen) that he's able to look past it. That's just a part of himself on repeat. But the rest?
He has a freaking engineering background now, along with some messed up theory about the human psyche while facing the worst of the worst in the Quarry. It's like a Master Class on knowing how to create Saw-style death traps.
He hates it.]
Look—coming out of there? You were right. I can't hold some of that against me. Hold that—that me against myself. But a lot of that—it's stuff I've dealt with. I know how I was gonna turn up if Dad hadn't gone missing. We've seen it plenty of times. Hell, Chuck gave me a front row seat to it. [On accident. Of course, he doesn't know if any version of himself would kill Dean.]
And even having it dragged back up, it's—[A huff of breath.] I get it. [Another pause. His forehead all but emphasizes the multiple thoughts going through his mind. How to handle this. What to do here.]
But ... we can't focus on that important crap if you're gonna avoid me. To avoid this. [Because one leads to the other.] And we can table it. I'm fine with that. [That often leads to breakthroughs down the line.] And—and I know it's violating, all of it. For both you and Cas—[He swallows here.]
Just—you don't have to avoid me to avoid this. Whatever "this" is. We can get to work.
no subject
He has a freaking engineering background now, along with some messed up theory about the human psyche while facing the worst of the worst in the Quarry. It's like a Master Class on knowing how to create Saw-style death traps.
He hates it.]
Look—coming out of there? You were right. I can't hold some of that against me. Hold that—that me against myself. But a lot of that—it's stuff I've dealt with. I know how I was gonna turn up if Dad hadn't gone missing. We've seen it plenty of times. Hell, Chuck gave me a front row seat to it. [On accident. Of course, he doesn't know if any version of himself would kill Dean.]
And even having it dragged back up, it's—[A huff of breath.] I get it. [Another pause. His forehead all but emphasizes the multiple thoughts going through his mind. How to handle this. What to do here.]
But ... we can't focus on that important crap if you're gonna avoid me. To avoid this. [Because one leads to the other.] And we can table it. I'm fine with that. [That often leads to breakthroughs down the line.] And—and I know it's violating, all of it. For both you and Cas—[He swallows here.]
Just—you don't have to avoid me to avoid this. Whatever "this" is. We can get to work.