（ he traces his thumb against aidan's knuckles to quiet down that tick. he's trying not to think about how long the contact's gone on. it's easier in a dream. barely even counts for anything, and he's so irate with himself for taking that tack that he slips his hand down the inside of aidan's wrist, down to his elbow, trailing his fingers along the skin, across old scars. forcing himself to do it while there's no empathy bond, so aidan can't feel the way he's fighting down nausea. because it's not — it's not fucking him, it's not ever about him, it has nothing to do with him. it's not his fault that jai's so screwed up that the idea of touching people — even ones that care about him — fucks him up this bad.
being the kestrel is all about finding things you can overcome. this isn't any different, it's just something he needs to do. for himself as much as aidan. ）
I mean, you're also describing atrial flutter, which can be a serious medical condition. We should be careful.
（ his attention flicks upwards, to gauge aidan's expression. see if this is something he should draw back from or continue on with. it's easy to act smooth about it, but that's — a kinvaio thing, it doesn't belong to jai artesio, the boy he was before dass, before everything. the boy he still sometimes feels like when he's out of his depth, over his head, drowning in things he's aware of but barely understands. ）
no subject
being the kestrel is all about finding things you can overcome. this isn't any different, it's just something he needs to do. for himself as much as aidan. ）
I mean, you're also describing atrial flutter, which can be a serious medical condition. We should be careful.
（ his attention flicks upwards, to gauge aidan's expression. see if this is something he should draw back from or continue on with. it's easy to act smooth about it, but that's — a kinvaio thing, it doesn't belong to jai artesio, the boy he was before dass, before everything. the boy he still sometimes feels like when he's out of his depth, over his head, drowning in things he's aware of but barely understands. ）