we've got the vision —

[evite]

WHO: daisy johnson & you, i hope!
WHERE: throughout the city.
WHEN: october 1-15
WHAT: open log for non-event shenanigans.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: lots of open opportunities, but as always, feel free to holler at me if you have questions or want something specific!


@ the boxing gym, which i have dubbed sucker punch

[ since arriving in new amsterdam, daisy has been a semi-regular visitor to one particular branch of one of the city's more populous (though not necessarily more popular) boxing gym franchises. located across the street from an up-and-coming vegan smoothie chain, it's a great spot to work up a sweat and treat yourself after; with fewer posh amenities than some of the competition, it's an even better place for avoiding yuppies who swing in wearing unblemished lululemon gear to take photos of themselves on equipment and leave.

(unfortunately, that's still a bit of a problem in this century.)

on her visits, daisy focuses on sparring in the rings available for public use. there are no pre-arranged matches, but on busier days, the staff will post up a waiting list for ring use — if she comes alone, she'll take on anyone who's amenable; if someone opts to come with her, or if she runs into a familiar face, she'll sign them both up for ring time together.

should she have to wait, she'll entertain herself with the standing targets and punching bags on the far wall. on good days, she's happy to chatter while she does, pausing conversation only long enough to adjust her gloves or reaffix the target should it slip. on more stressful ones, it might be easier to assume the bag she's attacking stole her lunch money, and far more difficult to get a word in edgewise.

feel free to interrupt her at any point during her visit — arrival, pre- or post-sparring, working out, or even just washing up afterwards! ]

@ the caves for powers training

[ for the last handful of weeks — not counting her unexpected disappearance — daisy has semi-regularly hosted personal powers training sessions underground in the caves, a familiar location for anyone who remembers the insomniacs' ball. with the continued influx of new arrivals and the realization that their unique abilities present both an opportunity and a challenge, she's decided to make these sessions a more permanent thing. while one-on-one training will still be offered when her schedule permits, she's going to be transitioning to a twice-weekly group session set-up.

on tuesday and thursday evenings, daisy will have chalked out space in one of the larger cave rooms for people to mingle and talk. anyone who has questions will be welcomed to ask them, as well as share any recent developments or concerns they may have with the group as a whole; once discussion has petered out, anyone in attendance will be encouraged to partner up to practice the following skills:

• summoning their ability, either by active motion (squeezing their fists, for example) or passive recall (intense focus or a specific mantra)
• utilizing their ability in some capacity, whether on their own or in reaction to someone else's actions in the case of more defensive or passive skills
• suppressing their ability, specifically focusing on calming the blue glow that comes from use in their chest implants

though she does not make it a point to show off her own abilities, daisy will (upon request) provide small demonstrations of focused use and disuse of her ability, specifically by disassembling and reassembling a generic countertop appliance — such as a toaster, microwave oven, or alarm clock. she won't advertise it, but she'll also accept item requests during these sessions, under the expectation that the requester provides any materials needed and that they allow appropriate time for completion.

not sure if your character would have opportunity to know about these sessions or item requests? daisy's posted a network-wide invitation here for classes. you can also feel free to handwave coming to her about training opportunities; she's fairly frequently mentioned on the network as an expert in this sort of thing! for item requests, daisy has made items in the past for leo fitz, rey, kylo ren, and prompto argentum. if your characters are friends with any of them (or at least chatty), feel free to come chat with me or their players to handwave discussions! i'm super keen to play out this aspect where i can! ]

@ the fighting rings

[ though daisy does not enter into wagered fights, she is a fairly regular attendant and better at the underground ring. observant attendants might notice that she tends to arrive with the same person, and someone particularly keen might notice her patterns of betting as well — on fellow displaced, she bets higher on their later fights, when exhaustion would normally make them poorer contenders and thus worse bets for the general public. it's not an exact science, but daisy's done very well for herself over the last few months, accruing a relatively high sum of winnings that she's as of yet done exactly nothing with.

however, she's not an unemotional viewer. when familiar faces climb into the ring, daisy watches these fights fully transfixed; she's not shy about cringing or biting at her knuckles when things get rough, and should someone manage to draw blood, she may occasionally go a little pale, though she's gotten better about resisting the urge to walk away lately. looking down for a moment or two or taking a deep breath generally helps settle the rolling nerves, anyway.

though fighting rings are inherently loud, busy places, she won't turn down a little companionship! feel free to approach her at the bar, where she'll treat herself (and maybe someone else!) to a drink, or ring-side. she can typically be found fairly close to the action, but she is small — it's not uncommon for her to have someone step rudely in front, or for her to have to elbowcheck her way back into her previously held spot. so sorry if she accidentally jabs you, et cetera. it's also absolutely fair game to call her out on her surprisingly sensitive reactions! ]

@ anywhere else!

[ have an idea for something you'd like to do but aren't sure where to put it? pm me, hit me up on plurk @ semicolons, or disco me at quake#2740 any time! ]

Comments

[secondnature]

I don't like being patient, either. [Keith hates sitting and biding his time. It's something that he's never been good at. If he feels a solution is good, he'll vet it, sure, but in the end he'll end up taking it if it's right in front of him. He can't help it.]

What do you think you need to be doing? It sounds like it's not just that you're injured.

[evite]

It's complicated.

[ it's not. daisy's making it complicated by tying her self-worth up in something that doesn't exist here. she's not worth anything, in her mind, if she's not an agent in top form — but shield isn't a thing here. she's not an agent of anything here, not really.

vyonation does not care if she's capable of throwing a punch. hell, morningstar doesn't even really care. she's not enlisted with them. she helps, but it's more an a la carte situation than a subscription service. ]

I need to be ready, I guess. And it's killing me that I'm not, because I could have been.

[ if she hadn't been an idiot and run into harm's way!!! ]

[secondnature]

Have you thought that maybe the problem is that you can't be more specific about what you need and want? [Not fighting. Not any of that stuff. Keith isn't the most empathetic person in the world, but he knows that when she cares about something, she'll put it to words. She could figure out that he hated being at a party right away, and did her best to remind him that other people got it covered.

The words there were direct, concise. Even under the influence of whatever substance she had in her body, she knew what to do. For him, if not herself.

And this?

This isn't evidence of the same person. Maybe it's easier because it's external, but ...]

Maybe you already have it. I don't know. It sounds almost like you think something should be there. If we were closer, do you think it'd be any different?

[evite]

[ it wouldn't be. it's not that she doesn't feel close to keith, because daisy struggles to put her own wants and needs into words even for people she does feel close to. her conversations with fitz often start and stop, reticence followed by too much word vomit, never a consistent pattern or flow.

it's frustrating. she wants to be able to explain, but she'd need to be able to accept the truth herself first in order to do so. ]

Do you ever feel like you don't know where you fit in? Like, without the things you could do before you got here, you're not sure what you're supposed to do or who you're supposed to be?

[ daisy sighs, rubbing at her forehead with the back of her hand, sweat soaking into the wrappings around her palms. ]

I just feel like I'm still trying to figure that out.

[secondnature]

[Empathy may be Keith's weakest area, but this is a sentiment that he knows well. Having been half alien, feeling as if something was different about him—he never really knew why. His father died before he could get any answers. And his entire life after that point was making it so that people would give up on him before they were let down. It was a means of playing the game. What game? Keith wasn't entirely aware at the time. He's a little embarrassed by it now.

And here? Here he's trying to be a paladin without a team. Voltron can't form with just one person. It needs the four others. He knows that better than anyone. Half his journey has been accepting that about himself.]

I felt that before. [He frowns. His hands move, ever so slightly.] I feel it now. I have a small team back home, and I can't do anything without them. I keep saying it's my job to do certain things, but what good am I without them?

[This isn't about him. Keith says it straightforwardly, hoping that she'll understand that he's ... sharing for a reason.]

Do you miss someone, or miss what you could do? What you could accomplish? I guess I understand both.

[evite]

Both? [ it's uncomfortable to admit. ] I miss... being part of a team, yeah. SHIELD was — honestly, the closest thing I've ever had to family, but it was more than that. I belonged there. I had a job, a role — people to answer to, people to rely on.

[ she has fitz and bobbi here, and strange, and people she cares about and wants to help, but it's not the same. she misses being a soldier. she misses coulson and may, their guidance and support. she misses having people to fall back on. ]

But I had that job because of things I could do, things I can't do here at all or as well, and I guess — I don't know. I don't know what I'm actually doing here.

[ she pauses, mouth tensing into a flat line, and tries to swallow down the tightness in her throat. ]

My friends are throwing themselves into Morningstar like it's the answer, but is that what I'm supposed to do? Trade my loyalties in, slap a new badge on my jacket? Do I even have anything to offer them?

[ gaby hadn't seemed very appreciative of anything daisy had to offer, as it were. did morningstar even want her help? or was she better off on the fringes, teaching classes to people who needed help with their powers and working a 9-5 on the side? ]

[secondnature]

[Maybe he is good for this conversation. For Keith, joining Morningstar had been a no brainer. It wasn't about what he felt he had to offer, but because he wanted to help this world. He sees being a paladin as the core of his identity, and it doesn't matter what mantle he does it under.

Her struggle ... it doesn't sound like the same thing. It sounds like she's afraid she's lost who she was before because she's here, but he doesn't know that for sure.]

Why does joining Morningstar have to be a matter of trading in your loyalties?

[He huffs out a breath, recalling a conversation he had with Lance once.]

Maybe forget that part.

Look. If you can fight, if you can hold your own and help us learn about our powers, you have something to offer them. ... To offer us. You're offering it every day, Daisy. I wouldn't just send people to you if I didn't believe it. If you want to fight, you can still fight. Did you save lives that one night? Did you cure people? Because that's what you're doing now. And if you need a family ... I can't offer you that. [Family is weird, but Keith knows Voltron is his family. And his mom. And a lot of others now.]

But I can be your friend. [Wait, wait, wait.] Not that I wouldn't want—I mean—I don't think anyone can just offer to be family! That's all.

[evite]

[ because for daisy, she was never really loyal to shield as an organization. her mental map of shield was a two-sided thing: coulson and his team, first and foremost, with her loyalty to the man the lifeblood behind it; in a distant second, shield's larger organization, with directors and committees and policies far beyond her immediate understanding.

daisy had thrown her loyalties to a man who was just an agent with a small team, and those loyalties hadn't always extended beyond that. it was only once said agent took on the mantle of director that her loyalties blanketed out to all that the director touched — and still, only by virtue of his command.

to throw that same level of loyalty into morningstar would mean assigning that loyalty to someone new, and thus far, gaby and el haven't exactly been the kind of people daisy wants to ride or die for.

but she doesn't explain, because keith dives forwards, as if sensing the complications that lay in a simple question like that. ]

I don't think anybody who just offers to be your family is in it for anything other than the foster kid check. [ #orphanclubproblems ] But friends? I think we can do that.

[ technically, she already thinks of keith as a friend. ]

[secondnature]

[Keith thinks of her as one, too, but there's always something about announcing it, behind claiming it out loud. For him, it's even harder. Friendship feels like something that should involve a bold declaration of intent, or something that comes with people realizing that they weren't in that position before. Maybe he just has it wrong. It's hard for him to tell.

As it is, that bit about the check? He definitely gets it. He might not agree with the whole joking about being an orphan bit—and he definitely feels weird about having been an orphan, now that he has a relatively healthy and prominent relationship with his mother—but that bit about the check?

Yeah, he gets it.]

I always made them regret saying that. Turns out that I can be a bit of a pain to keep around even for the check. [He smirks, drawing his hands back finally to cross his arms.]

Do you wanna spar a bit before we get out of here? [Since they're friends and all, he'll drop his solo act.]

[evite]

The real challenge is getting them to send you back before the check mails.

[ it takes thirty days for most states to approve foster disbursement funds. keep a kid less than a month, the check never comes. daisy stopped unpacking by the time she was fourteen, but even when she was little, she kept the suitcases out until the fifth week. just in case.

it's not really the point, but... it's easier to linger in that self-deprecating humor than it is to admit that she really. can't do what he's offering. she shouldn't, anyway, if she's going to honor the doctor's wishes and not overextend herself. ]

Maybe another time. [ it's not a dismissal. there's wistfulness in it. ] You wanna grab a bite to eat or something?