The whole reason Gaby never wanted to trust us is because she didn't believe we could believe in her cause over our own selfish interests.
[ She blurts this out like she's appalled, but after a moment, Rey realizes she really shouldn't be. None of this should be surprising. She stops mid-stairwell, though, a few steps up from Kylo. ]
Doing the right thing because it's what you want for yourself isn't doing the right thing. Doing the right thing because it's easy isn't heroic at all. Caring about people should be a good enough reason on its own.
[ It wouldn't be worth it to make this appeal if she didn't believe he already felt that. He doesn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to kill Han. He'd done it because he felt cornered. He'd stayed with the First Order because it had felt safer than confronting his crimes, his mother. And now she's positive that he's still clinging to that mindset.
Any uncertainty she'd had about refusing that kiss is gone now. She'd been right, and it had needed to happen. ]
( and this is an admission that costs him. admitting to fear means that the fear is real. ) I was foolish and I allowed myself to be led to do things I can never take back.
And now I'm here, blind, and unsure.
Forgive me my caution when I know what I am capable of.
You knew that those things were wrong when you did them. [ She won't hear arguments otherwise--he was not manipulated in that way. He knew killing his father was wrong, and he still did it. ] Snoke used your fear to lead you.
[ She's stubborn on this point, even if she softens to less rage and more empathy, understanding. She cannot know what it is like for him--this is something they don't share. But she understands it better than anyone else. She has seen more of it. He has let her. ]
If you want to move beyond him, you need to let it go. He made you think there was no way back, but there is. But you have to believe in more than protecting yourself.
( the fear was like a toothache: a low, persistent throb of pain that had become a part of who he was to such an extent that imagining it being gone was ... impossible, once. )
And what if I do not know who I am without the anger.
[ That's why she's here now. That's why she's been here the whole time, despite her reservations. As long as he's accepting it, she'll give it.
She trudges down those steps, reaches for his arm. For a moment, she hesitates, leaving her hand there. Then she leans forward, tipping her forehead against his chest and sighing. He's right there. She can feel it. ]
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no subject
[ She blurts this out like she's appalled, but after a moment, Rey realizes she really shouldn't be. None of this should be surprising. She stops mid-stairwell, though, a few steps up from Kylo. ]
Doing the right thing because it's what you want for yourself isn't doing the right thing. Doing the right thing because it's easy isn't heroic at all. Caring about people should be a good enough reason on its own.
[ It wouldn't be worth it to make this appeal if she didn't believe he already felt that. He doesn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to kill Han. He'd done it because he felt cornered. He'd stayed with the First Order because it had felt safer than confronting his crimes, his mother. And now she's positive that he's still clinging to that mindset.
Any uncertainty she'd had about refusing that kiss is gone now. She'd been right, and it had needed to happen. ]
no subject
( and this is an admission that costs him. admitting to fear means that the fear is real. ) I was foolish and I allowed myself to be led to do things I can never take back.
And now I'm here, blind, and unsure.
Forgive me my caution when I know what I am capable of.
no subject
[ She's stubborn on this point, even if she softens to less rage and more empathy, understanding. She cannot know what it is like for him--this is something they don't share. But she understands it better than anyone else. She has seen more of it. He has let her. ]
If you want to move beyond him, you need to let it go. He made you think there was no way back, but there is. But you have to believe in more than protecting yourself.
no subject
( the fear was like a toothache: a low, persistent throb of pain that had become a part of who he was to such an extent that imagining it being gone was ... impossible, once. )
And what if I do not know who I am without the anger.
no subject
[ That's why she's here now. That's why she's been here the whole time, despite her reservations. As long as he's accepting it, she'll give it.
She trudges down those steps, reaches for his arm. For a moment, she hesitates, leaving her hand there. Then she leans forward, tipping her forehead against his chest and sighing. He's right there. She can feel it. ]
You're not alone.