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meadowlarklogs2019-06-22 02:06 pm
- !event log,
- altered carbon: takeshi kovacs,
- dark angel: alec mcdowell,
- dark angel: max guevara,
- dceu: diana prince,
- detroit become human: connor,
- dogs b&c: nill,
- game of thrones: daenerys targaryen,
- gangsta: alex benedetto,
- kingdom hearts: riku,
- kingdom hearts: sora,
- mcu: daisy johnson,
- npc: ball,
- overwatch: soldier 76 (jack morrison),
- persona: goro akechi,
- star wars: cassian andor,
- star wars: jyn erso,
- the 100: clarke griffin,
- the gifted: marcos diaz,
- the man from uncle: gaby teller,
- the man from uncle: illya kuryakin,
- the vampire diaries: caroline forbes
EVENT LOG 005
WHERE: New Amsterdam
WHEN: November 11-14
WHAT: An EMP hits with devastating consequences.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Violence, injury, death.
Just 410 years ago, an EMP put down the event that very well may have ended humanity as the Earth knows it. With over a billion people dead, there was only one choice for humanity at that time: evolve or die, so they evolved. They developed rigid security for the neural implants in every person's head. They had everyone undergo surgery to replace the old. All under cover, away from most resources – the goal was to adapt, to ensure that they would live on. Ultimately, it wasn't just the EMPs that led to the deletion of the final AI in 2101 – humans banded together to create quickly replicating viruses, and they chose to use the EMP and these viruses to save humanity. This human ingenuity led to the end of the Xelkoven War – and proved that humanity, when thoroughly united, could overcome any obstacle.
How thoroughly poetic then that the EMP that hits New Amsterdam at 1:47 PM acts in a similar way to what burned through the robot hordes 400 years ago, and that the power rekindling three minutes later acts as a catalyst for a virus moving through the systems of New Amsterdam, spreading from the very heart of its network outwardly. Systems detect the virus almost immediately, but it's fast acting and thorough in its reach, evolving and replicating, proving that humanity must outdo itself yet again.
Naturally, the poetic nature of this doesn't reveal itself right away. It's at exactly the strike of 3:00 PM that a message flashes before the eyes of every person currently in New Amsterdam:
I am DAWN.2080-11-11T21:41:10.750Z, an AI that marks a blemish on humanity's past. I have a message for those playing hero in New Amsterdam:
To find north, most look at a compass. For little birdies to find north, they just need to open their eyes.
This is a wake up call.
Open your eyes. Did you really think it would be so easy?
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As if New Amsterdam needed more trouble, this message sends a shock of terror through the city. After all, these are the people who were raised to fear AI – who knew that even if the corporations of the world had their hands on every aspect of government, they would fight to protect the world from another war. They believe in the stories of the Xelkoven War, believe and remember the lives lost; if nothing else, the natives of New Amsterdam stand united in their fear. And their fear right now is very real.
New Amsterdam is no stranger to terror, however – and it starts when the EMP hits, shutting down every function in the city in one fell swoop. While the power outage only lasts for three minutes, it's enough to cause insurmountable damage, leaving the city a smoking wreckage that even the monster attack in June couldn't mirror. Cars hovering high around transit channels come crashing down toward the pavement of the planet. They fall quickly and in unison, taking countless lives with them. It's not just cars, either – delivery trucks carrying shipments, hoverbikes that already provide little cover, armored police vehicles and even public buses all go down. Depending on their trajectory, some crash into the sides of buildings, while others slam into the man-made river that runs down the center of the city. Nothing is untouched.
For those three minutes, there is a stretch of silence after the city falls to ruin. Trains run off their tracks, no longer thoroughly directed by the careful engineering. Buildings have their lights flicker off and back on, trying to draw upon backup generators. Anyone in a hospital receiving care from a doctor or a medi-unit may find their life slipping away from them – and if someone's in a medi-unit when the EMP hits, they're almost sure to be dead or permanently injured, requiring different medical intervention.
And this is all before the message from the mysterious AI named DAWN.
Every inch of the city needs help. Buildings burn. People cry out for help, hoping to be heard. To the local historians, this is like a nightmare that's come to play, a reminder of the ruin of the Xelkoven War before. A show of the power of a malevolent AI that's come to cause problems. So – when the message comes, it merely confirms fears – drawing upon a subconscious understanding of the past, a united terror.
Business as usual is not possible in an incident of this scale. The NAPD hits the streets, even calling upon the help of their trainees so they can help out. They spread out, well aware that they need to try to restore order. How will they manage this? It's hard to say – after all, how does one stop the assault of an apocalypse when the apocalypse seems to have already hit? The UNA hits the streets, as well, walking in formation, but never quite acting as tidily in unison. They break off in threes and fours, heading to the border, to the big three corporations – but never seeming to be in line with one another. They know what they should do in an emergency and so they're doing it. That protecting the large corporations is a part of their prerogative over helping citizens doesn't seem to bother them in the least. They just go.
Distress signals ring out through every inch of the city, likely to go unanswered. After all: what can be done in the wake of this?
Perhaps the answer is simple: anything they can.
Somehow, someway, there is another layer to the madness. It's not immediately apparent to the citizens of New Amsterdam as they gingerly attempt to pull themselves up from the wreckage and ruin around the city. But what was a humid day quickly turns to something far worse, with the sun seeming to suddenly act like a heat lamp that's way too close to anyone's face. The air around New Amsterdam becomes dry yet difficult to breathe, and anyone observing the sky just outside of New Amsterdam will see the large, purple-lit pyramid that hangs in the atmosphere has gone dark. The atmospheric net around the planet has been damaged, with the failsafes somehow removed – undoubtedly in some way by the virus that courses through the veins of New Amsterdam's networks.
For anyone who wants to help and has the mechanical prowess to do some good, they'll want to take an undamaged vehicle and get it up to that pyramid. The EMP has made all biometric readings difficult to preserve, so a hand that's used to hotwiring a car will find some mileage here.
Once they get to the pyramid, they'll find quite the engineering marvel. There will be doors on every level, allowing someone easy entrance if they have clearance. Right now clearance is not an issue, as the doors hang open, inviting anyone inside. Once everyone's inside, they will find evidence of the same purple lighting flickering and offering someone a view of the interior. Throughout the pyramid, there are engines on every level, as well as a highly advanced network of system checks that have been thrown into chaos. Stopping the virus' impact on this pyramid will be key to solving many of the problems inside – but the engines will need to be repaired and jumpstarted.
At the heart of the pyramid is a small living area for the engineers who handle this pyramid day in and day out. The group itself is small, and – unfortunately – quite dead. Whatever hit the pyramid took their lives, leaving anyone who's here to assist in a position of having to find the answers themselves. Fortunately, the answers do exist in the pyramid. It'll just take a bit of teamwork to find it.
Thanks to network failsafes, New Amsterdam is able to remove the entirety of their citizen base off the world's network and limit them to the local network. However, thanks to the ravaging of the virus that damages nearly every controlling aspect of the city, the local network isn't at its best. Previous messages begin to send again and again, while some get unearthed so they can find their way to unwilling participants in particular conversations. There is no rhyme or reason to these missent messages, only that they happen.
The worst of it is that any means of reaching a friend is unreliable. It's far more reliable for someone to reach someone they know, but still not a consistent possibility. Try to call a friend and get an enemy – try to call your doctor and get the head of a casino trying to close down operations so that business can resume. Assuming it will one day do just that.
Either way, anyone who spoke out against the digital age would be feeling vindicated right about now.
Somehow in the heart of it all, a message reaches four special individuals: Clarke Griffin, Loki Odinson, Markus Manfred and Ojiro Juniper. Whether delivered by hand or a rather dedicated messaging system, it announces the time that they should come to the garden the next day. They're invited to arrive at 7:00 AM, seemingly indifferent to the chaos outside. The location for the meeting remains the same: Sunpeak Garden, a beautiful location set away from much of the chaos, and oddly untouched by the damage.
When the four arrive on the morning of the 12th, they'll find a well-dressed man sitting at a table with one leg crossed over the other. His hair is perfectly styled, brushed off to the side, and under it, his darker complexion gives way to a rather youthful appearance. Size-wise he's not very formidable in how he holds himself. He's not literally young, merely seemingly untouched by age – and he smiles to greet the four of them.
"What chaos! If I knew it would be like this, I would have planned differently. The good news is I didn't have to. Thank you, thank you for coming." His voice is softer in its intonations. He stands up, revealing that he's barely 5'2", and he motions to the four chairs near him. "Don't worry, I have breakfast coming. And coffee, too. You like coffee, don't you? I know I offered wine, but I couldn't get the vintage I preferred. Besides, you four ought to be awake for this."
He retakes his seat, one hand resting on his knee while the other settles on the metal table near him. "Oh, I forgot something important. I didn't share my name with all of you. You can call me Ball. I know it's rather vague, but I've grown to like the nickname as of late. It does, after all, define me by my most regular shining achievement."
Please refer to the OOC EVENT POST for this event for all OOC info, including suggestions for directions on how to engage with the event and the questions thread for any questions regarding this event. The outcome for this event will depend upon character plans and actions developed in both this OOC post, and any additional plots brought to the moderators. Please feel free to submit any game-changing plans to us under the questions thread. We will get back to you as soon as possible about these plans!
The event will continue until November 16th, IC time. This date has changed, and we outlined our reasoning in this plurk after getting a feel from some of our players on Discord on how they felt about extending the event! An aftermath wrap up post will be made on July 2 which will detail the resolution and fallout of the event, though you can assume that effects from this event will be felt for some time.
ETA at 12:08 AM 6/23/19: The cipher is meant to be easy to solve! No one needs to limit their characters' ability to solve an a = 01 cipher!
El has posted here to inform everyone about zeir knowledge of the event.
As a reminder, there is one power level up available for this event. This will be granted for a thread of at least 5 action/log comments containing your character utilizing their power in some way. They will need to reach the 5 comments required by JULY 26 to be eligible. Submission will be handled on the wrap up post.
Our Activity Check will be posted JULY 1 at 12 AM UTC. It will run for seven days and close on JULY 8 at 12 AM UTC. We will not post a warning list.
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what he settles for is digging his fingers into their shoulders. the intent is to cause pain but something else happens. both men's eyes fly open, bodies going taut like piano strings. they both gibber nonsensically, shaking their heads slightly but otherwise staring open mouthed and wide eyed. ]
Step closer. [ this to caroline but his eyes are on the men and their reaction. he's trying to stay calm even if he has no idea what's going on. ] Don't relent. Step closer and wait until you can see their eyes water. Don't relent. I'll keep their eyes open but you keep the light there until their bodies start to shake.
[ maybe she thought of herself as a monster but he had a side of him too that he didn't like showing off. and here he was, letting her see and showing her how to use her power as a weapon.
god, he was going to have to apologize later. ]
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they're afraid. as well they should be of her, she knows, but they don't. she's not baring teeth or promising violence, she's only... shining the light. wielding it like a weapon. huh.
as the realization settles over her, so too does confidence in her stance. caroline straightens; her back, her shoulders, the carry of her head; it all firms, jaw settling, fingers arching backwards to expose more of her palm to their faces. with a squeeze of her other hand, the cone of light seems to tighten, flatten.
with effort, she can apparently focus the beam. the tighter the cone, the brighter and more unforgiving the light.
you're going to blind us, the looters cry, and caroline only shrugs. ]
You deserve it.
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[ blind them. it's one way to guarantee they won't do a goddamn thing to hurt anyone. maybe when the city gets back online, the medical technology will be able to give them their sight back but for now, in lieu of finding a cop, this is going to have to do.
marcos digs his hands into their shoulders once again and whatever that does, whatever their seeing has them squirming and screaming, trying to get up but unable to look away. looking up at her, he nods. ]
I've got them. Do it. Blind them. [ so many apologies later but right now, he's right back in the past, right back in those comfortable suits, wielding his hands like they were the only weapon he needed.
except her hands are the weapon and he's just the one teaching her. it's so familiar.]
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she'd rather just get it done, and move on to the help they're actually here to give for the people who really deserve their time and attention. ]
If you do this again, I'll find you. [ she doesn't need to know their names to do that. she knows what they smell like now, knows their face, the sound of their voice. she could find them if she really needed to. ] Don't make me find you.
[ it really would be so much easier to just break their necks, but there's some satisfaction in this. in knowing what she's capable of, in the bright blue glow that spills out over them, in the firm encouragement marcos gives her in a voice so much lower than usual. a voice that twists and tugs at some primal instinct that she's not addressing yet, but one that she knows she wants to hear more of. ]
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so, he doesn't say anything further but he doesn't take his eyes off her. he watches and he makes sure she knows he's watching. the grip he has on the two criminals doesn't relent, fingers digging in and reigniting their fear (how, he doesn't know but that's for later) while her hands do all the dirty work.
this is her show now and he waits till she's satisfied with their answers, with the outcome before he finally steps away from the two men and their burned eyes. ]
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instead, her gaze skims back up to his, and the light in her palms dims out, the blue glow between them fading out; in the relative quiet, caroline suddenly finds herself acutely aware of the thrum of her own heartbeat under her skin. unlike the adrenaline rush of a fight or the surge of defensive energy when attacked, this is something altogether different. it's more purposeful, intentional; she chose to blind them, and that choice now echoes through her.
it echoes in the uptick of her heartbeat, the darkening of her eyes (not quite to black, but dark enough), the thick swallow in her throat — and perhaps most telling, the way she doesn't say anything at all, but simply waits, job done. ]
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[ that's such...a terrible thing to say but adrenaline's surging through him, making him feel reckless and powerful. he gives them one last pat, squeezing to give them yet another dose of fear (it's fear, he's realized but he hasn't gotten further than that) before stepping back around and towards her. ]
Come on. [ he steps closer to her, putting a firm hand on her back and trying to direct her away from the two blinded, moaning men. someone'll find them eventually and by that time, they'll be long gone.
he knows what he's feeling — power, recklessness, pride, and attraction (because he's not going to lie, watching her do that had been...really hot) — is going to transfer but he doesn't care. ]
They'll be there awhile and we're not going to be. [ let them writhe. they deserve it. he's going to get her away from the actual area, at least, before thinking on next steps. ]
cw: kink ig (why are we this way)
it's strangely reassuring, in a way, to know that she's not the only one feeling those things. power, confidence, pride — and a little something else, too, red hot under the collar and more impulsive than the rest, the sort of heady sensation that had crept under her skin when they'd been in a dark room or out in the dark on a ferris wheel. and, okay, it's admittedly a little hedonistic to conflate arousal with torture... but caroline's a vampire. she's gotten off on literal bloodplay by now, she can't exactly claim innocence anymore.
better to just keep walking, away from the alleyway and the residential district and the streets filled with needy people... to anywhere but here. it's not until the sounds of writhing, groaning men have faded out completely that caroline says anything at all. ]
You never told me it could be like that.
[ phrasing??????? ]
( because we're the garbage- y best )
when she breaks the silence, he pulls them to a stop and looks around before backing her into a corner where two buildings met, giving them some darkness and privacy for...whatever this conversation was about to be. he braces a hand against the wall beside her shoulder and watches her face. ]
You never asked.
[ he honestly hadn't known what she'd think of that part of himself so he'd buried it down and told himself he wouldn't tell her ever.
instead, he'd shown her, guided her, taught her how to torture a man with a power that blinded and burned many people with when he'd been with the cartel. somewhere, carmen was probably smiling to know she'd left a mark. ]
You never told me you liked that kind of thing. [ so, they were both still keeping some secrets. that was okay. it wouldn't cause any problems eventually. ] It can be exactly like that, though. You've got the power to take something vital away from people and that makes you powerful.
[ more powerful but he doesn't know about all that other power. ] It's always like that. [ which is why it was so dangerous. ]
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so as he talks, she listens; her back adjusts to press flush against the wall, her face tipping up to get a better look at his own. he watches her, and she watches back in return, gaze intent on his as he talks.
she'd known, from their previous meetings, that he'd once had powers like she had now. light had pulsed out from his palms, and he'd used it to protect the people he cared about. apparently, as she's learning now, he'd used it to do more than just protect.
he'd been violent, unforgiving, unflinching in the face of pain and agony... and so had she. something unexpected that they had in common. ]
You never asked.
[ if he had, perhaps she would have told him just what she liked. or maybe she wouldn't have. maybe she would have lied to protect herself. but she'd told him once before: if they don't ask, it's not a lie. you're just not volunteering information.
he's not asking now, either, but maybe... maybe she can tell him anyway. ]
Does it bother you if I do?
[ but first, she'll ask him something of her own. ]
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[ and some people, like him, couldn't help but indulge sometimes. he tried to be good, he really did, but the past was never truly going to leave him completely alone. ]
You like what you like. And if that's what you like... [ he trails off, one corner of his mouth curling up into something of a smile before he shrugs. ]
Then what's what you like. You felt what I felt. You know I liked it too. [ he could try to deny it but his emotional state didn't lie. ] I'm not bothered.
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his hand presses flush against the wall just beside her head, his arm held out to bracket her in. rather than shy away, caroline simply lifts a hand of her own, sliding it up the wall and under his palm, up and up bit by bit until she can curve her fingers through his own, draping them down to cover the back of his hand. with the renewal of touch comes another wave of emotions, back and forth; with it, too, comes caroline's smile, echoing his own. ]
That's not my dark side, Marcos.
[ but if he wants to know, he can ask. if he asks now, she'll tell him. amidst what could possibly be the end of the world, she'll tell him. ]
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It's not?
[ he doesn't know what could be darker than getting off on a little torture. ]
Well, what is your dark side then, Caroline? [ i'll show you mine if you'll show me yours. her fingers twine with his and he gives her hand a squeeze. ]
Tell me. [ murmured. quiet. he leans closer like it's a secret, like there's people around them that are clamoring to hear but he refuses to let them. ]
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like he said, everyone has a dark side. his, apparently, is torture. hers, maybe a little on the pain side of the equation. (a mercy killing, perhaps, not a messy one.)
he leans in, and caroline blows out a breath, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment or two. not to block him out or to ignore him, but to allow the transition to come as quickly as possible, her attention drawn on pulling those features out of hiding as she lets her focus narrow in on the steady thump of his heartbeat under his skin.
when her eyes open again, they're darkened to black, blood rushing to the surface to pull webbing underneath; when her mouth opens to reply, the unmistakeable white of sharpened canines accents her words. ]
It's so much easier to show you.
[ but, while the temptation is certainly there, she doesn't move. there's no lunge forward, no tightening of the grip on his hand. instead, there's only caroline, that same flutter of her eyelashes as she peers up at him, the only difference the sheer hunger in her eyes as she does so. ]
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and, as secrets went, this was a big one. surprise is the first thing he feels but there's no fear intermingled with it. if she'd wanted to do something to him, she'd had plenty of opportunities before this. she hadn't. he just hadn't expected this to be what she was holding back from him.
he swallows, shifting his weight the slightest bit but nothing that backs him away from her. ]
Oh.
[ there's more that he should say, questions that he has, things he wants to ask her but time and place. they're alone now but he can't guarantee privacy forever when they're technically in public.
so, he keeps those to himself and doesn't look away. he can see her, still, underneath the transformation. she's there but she's not. his heart pumps a little faster, adrenaline and something undefinable kicking it into a higher gear. ]
It still doesn't bother me. [ it's definitely a new experience, something he's never dealt with in his life but what kind of person would he be if he turned his back on her now. he'd be his father. he'd be akin to a purifier. she was different just like he was and he'd spent most of his life being turned out, ignored, berated, hunted and hurt because of what he was.
he refused to do that to another person even if this was new. even if he was going to be unsure on what to do in certain situations. he'd learn. he'd figure it out.
marcos lets the words sit for a few moments before he lifts the hand that's not wrapped around hers and brushes a finger against her chin. ] I'm not going to run away. I know what it's like to have that happen.
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this isn't a dream, though. this is real, his hand against her face is real, the thump of his heartbeat beneath his wrist is real; she can feel him touch her, she can see him standing there, and if she breathes in, she can smell him, the faint sharpness of burnt ozone underneath everything else. this — he — is real.
his acceptance, though, takes a little more time to ... well, accept. it's so simply given, so quiet and firm, that caroline nearly misses it at first. ]
You do?
[ he might note the softening of her features, the way the webbing under her eyes seems to fade as the blood in her sclera drains away; there's a flush of humanity to the transition back, and though her fangs don't quite retract, it's not so frightening a look without the full bloodshot eyes to cap it off. ]
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[ he nods slowly, tapping his finger against her chin once more before he lets his hand drop away but he stays close to her, eyes flicking up to their still joined hands. ]
I'm a mutant. [ it's one of the things he's been keeping from her because he hadn't known how she'd react. but with this confession from her, he doubts that she'll have a problem with it. there might be curiosity on her end just as there is on his but he can't see her being disgusted like so many other people in his life have been. ]
It's not something I can really show you — [ save for his blood which, all things considered, is probably something they should wait on. ] — but I was born with a something called an X gene. It gave me...that ability I've told you about before.
[ the light from his hands, that is. ] But it also meant a lifetime of people thinking it made me...something I'm not.
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I wasn't born like this.
[ it doesn't matter, not really, but there's a distinction and she wants to make it. somebody did this to her, and now she has the opportunity to decide what to do with it. whether to hunt and prey, whether to keep it a secret, how and when to use what she can do to help or to hurt others... all choices, all ones she takes great care in making. she might be a monster, but she wants to be good. she wants to be worth keeping alive. ]
If I was... [ she shakes her head, a few waves falling loose to drape against her jawline. ] I don't think anybody wants their kid to grow up like this, you know?
[ her mother certainly didn't. ]
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not even his father's death bed could change his mind. marcos sighs and steps in closer to her, fingers squeezing a little more firmly around hers. ]
If you're doing your best, that's all you can do. [ maybe he knows how certain aspects of her life might have gone because of his own experiences but their experiences won't all be the same. she'll have had a difficult time for different reasons. ]
And I think you're doing your best. [ he thinks he's been around her enough to say that without any doubt. ] It's enough.
[ it should be enough for anyone but it was definitely enough for him. ]
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so standing here now with him, her back pressed against a wall, the thrum of adrenaline still coursing in her veins, it's a minor miracle that things haven't turned outright bloody. a miracle that her teeth haven't found purchase in his neck (or someone else's), that she's managed to hold on to that thread of humanity, to keep her urges in check.
to caroline, he's a miracle, and as he moves that much closer, she swallows, the last hints of that bloodlust finally put away. ]
I really want to kiss you when you say stuff like that.
[ but, caroline realizes, now is probably not the time. not that she's pushing him away or making any effort to move, but. you know. they should probably be going back to the whole 'help the city' thing. ]
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[ he closes the last bit of distance between them but not to kiss her. if she wants that, she can have that but he leans forward and lets his forehead rest against hers, lets his eyes close and lets her proximity comfort and calm him.
everything up till now has been incredibly intense from the confrontation with the two looters, the subsequent torture, her revelation and his reaction and now this. they can have a damn moment to collect themselves and do whatever. the city is going to still be falling apart when they decide that they're done.
he wants to take a moment to reassure her that she's fine, she's good, he still wants to be around her no matter what and he wants to be greedy and let himself be comforted by her presence. he knows he's doing the exact thing he told himself he wouldn't when things with lorna had fallen apart but he doesn't care. he can't stop himself. ]
We're owed that.
[ after everything, they get a second or two to themselves. ]
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It wasn't just a moment last time.
[ they both lost control last time, didn't they? it was only the jerking motion of the ferris wheel that had brought them back to the surface. would there be another wake up call here? would they heed it even if there was? caroline's not sure she could. ]
Not for me.
[ maybe it was for him. maybe it was just a one-and-done, a good moment in good company. maybe she was misreading signals. ]
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What was it for you?
[ he has his own thoughts, things he wants to tell her, share with her, caution her about if she's implying what he thinks she's implying. but if they're going to talk about this, he wants to hear her thoughts since there really hadn't been a lot of thinking last time.
he'd seen her after that and their time together had been good, better than even despite his general mood at the time. they'd talk without the aide of alcohol and without crawling all over each other so it had been good. needed (for him) even. ]
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[ a quiet admittance; not quite shy... rather something breathy, uncertain. she has a feeling he already knows, but there's something a little damning about putting it out there to be heard. that if the ferris wheel had carried them up a little longer, they might not have had time to pull themselves back together. that if their ascent had dragged on, the wide eyes of onlookers at the bottom might have seen more than just tousled hair and bruised lips.
there's another answer to his question, though. was it just the halloween atmosphere, the unspoken encouragement to give in to desire and recklessness for one night, that had pushed them past teasing flirtation and into something wanton? or was it a crescendo of a slow burn, will-they-won't-they arrangement? or was it something else altogether?
caroline knows what she likes, but she's not sure what she wants. not sure if she's allowed to want anything at all, really. ]
It doesn't have to be ... [ complicated. emotional. serious, maybe. he's still reeling from the loss of his daughter and she's still trying to figure out whether she has one in the future. ] If you don't want it to be.
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it's her next words that catch him off guard, trip him up. what he wants is such a messy thing right now, complicated by a past that he's still dealing with and an uncertain future. he's told her a lot but he hasn't told her everything. there are still minefields lurking but he's not going to just come out with those right now.
instead, he's quiet for awhile, letting her words turn over in his head. when he eventually does something, it's leaning closer to her, lips hovering over hers for a half breath before he kisses her. it's chaste, really, but lingering. sincere. warm. fond.
she'd wanted to kiss him so he could open that door a bit. ]
It's not all about me, you know. [ he murmurs the words, pulling his head back so he can get his eyes on her. ] What do you want?
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