sweet vermouth, now you're telling me the truth —

[evite]

WHO: cassian andor (evasives), daisy johnson (evite), illya kuryakin (kgbs), & jyn erso (realists)
WHERE: the barbie dream house
WHEN: approximately november 12
WHAT: a game of "never have i ever".
NOTES OR WARNINGS: rated pg-13 for inappropriate language.

Comments

[kgbs]

[ illya does not drink to that one because he has not broken anyone out of prison either. he is the one who typically helps put people into prison. ]

My dossier says that I have an Oedipus complex.

[ he is not drunk but apparently he is going to share anyway. ]

And it says I have other things as well.

[ stupid dossier. ]

[evite]

Yeah, but it's, like... [ daisy makes a vague hand gesture. it's a good thing she doesn't have her drink anymore. ] Not the fuck your mom kind.

[ succinct and also true ]

[evasives]

[ he hUFFS!!! there's no compilation of names of the people he's slept with that's too creepy!! and part two of the huff is taking another drink because man he's broken a lot of people out of prison, jyn was just the latest. ]

My personal dossier is classified, and I do not keep any others on people I will never see again.

[ so there. ]

And we would not be here today if I did not know how to break people out of prison. [ JYN ERSO. ]

[realists]

[ ignores the prison thing even though she brought it up. ]

's that why you had a dossier on me? Looking to keep me around?

[kgbs]

It says I have a personality disorder too.

[ there are two different conversations happening now since illya has no idea what jyn's dossier said or why she cares that much. it is just information for information's sake. ]

That could be true.

[evite]

[ truly, no one is listening. it is the drunk girl's time to level sage advice on all parties. ]

He likes you, stupid. [ and as for illya: ] You were an angry Russian who needed to get laid. Now you are a fighty Russian who gets laid a lot.

[ yes. much better. affirmative! ]

[kgbs]

Why are you in such an oversharing mood?

[ the walls were soundproof. they didn't need to know this! ]

Who wins the game? I think I win the game.

[ #competitive. ]

[evasives]

It helped us realize he had to break you out of prison to start. [ swings it back around to prison!! casually ignores what daisy says about him liking her! ofc he likes jyn, she's his best friend. his platonic war buddy. ]

[ illya they already know you're banging, it doesn't matter! ]

I contest that. I am still very coherent. [ unlike certain someones. that rhyme with dyn and jaisy. ]

[evite]

[ with an air of drunken belligerence: ] No. Cassian loses because he's in denial.

[ thus, illya wins. if she had a crown, she would put it on his head. instead, he just gets a peck on the forehead that's probably not totally on-point for hitting its target. maybe she smooches his eyelid instead. who knows?

not daisy. ]

[realists]

[ the door buzzes and jyn abruptly stands up which considering how much she quickly drank means she wobbles like a weeble and almost trips over cassian's leg. ]

I'll get it!

[ as if anyone else had given any indication they would do the same. she wobbles straight to the door and opens it, beaming at the night security guard standing at the door holding the pizza she ordered when she was still lucid enough to order and pay. ]

Thank you, Finch. [ jyn wanders around at night enough thanks to insomnia that they have gotten to know each other. she is very likable.

"You're welcome, Miss Erso." ]

Oh, piss off. [ and she closes the door in his face as he laughs at her. time to kill marcos. but later. now she turns to face her roommates. ] I win because you were all too stupid to order pizza.

[evite]

I want pizza!

[ it is the incoherent-sounding shriek of a girl who practically bolts upright, limbs flailing as she tries to pull herself off of illya... only to wobble all the way down into face-planting onto the sofa.

she's not getting up. honestly, it's a miracle she stayed up this long. go on without her, she's out like a light. ]

[kgbs]

I really do not understand how she does that.

[ just falls asleep so fast. but, it is his job as her dumb russian idiot to lever himself off the couch so he can pick her up very gently and cradle her against his chest. ]

Please save her a piece for breakfast. She'll appreciate it. I am going to put her to bed.

[ before she starts snoring and drooling on his shirt. with that, he nods at both cassian and jyn before disappearing into their bedroom so he can deposit her into bed to sleep it off. ]

[evasives]

She's drunk. [ that's how! but he doesn't say anything else, the living room suddenly much quieter as daisy and illya go off to bed. ]

[ but he turns back to jyn, with her entire box of pizza. ]

Do not eat more than three slices. And not just because Daisy wants one. [ DON'T EAT THAT MUCH PIZZA. ]

[realists]

That's not fair! [ jyn whines because she is twenty two years old and can't be told how many slices of pizza she can eat even though she knows full well that she cannot eat more than three slices of pizza without throwing up because prison was a delight of not enough food and her stomach is the size of a walnut.

she grumbles more before deciding: ]

Fine, but I'm eating it in bed.

[ so it's time for her to stumble to their room and get crumbs on cassian's sheets. ]

[evasives]

[ he doesn't even deign a response to her whine, just rolls his eyes and makes his way to the kitchen to grab a plate. pizza might be finger food but he REFUSES to sleep in saucy sheets. ]

[ he puts his near finished beer bottle down on the counter and glances out at the now empty living room. ]

I win.

[ HA AND NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH HIM NOW. ]