[open]

[strove]

WHO: Clarke Griffin + anyone
WHERE: New Amsterdam
WHEN: The very end of November 2511 into December 2511
WHAT: Returning from a canon update, reintegrating.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Likely references to loss of autonomy, death, bodysnatching without consent, and spoilers for the entirety of season 6 of The 100.

[Arriving back in New Amsterdam is a shock to Clarke's system. She wakes up in her bed—her bed. Not Josephine Lightbourne's. Her body. Not Josephine Lightbourne's. Whereas she has handled all of these complications back home, there's still a haziness in adjusting here. Two lives lived parallel. Whereas before, she had been certain that her life would be lonely, barely lived—her mind works to correct. To repair. To adjust. She can't adhere to notions that she held before. It will take time. Adjust. Adapt.

Adapt.

And do better. That's the one mantra that stays with her. Being here doesn't change that. Do better. Josephine had mocked that need, but that just tells Clarke that she was on the right track. That she is on the right track. Do better. So, she will.

Once Clarke has slept about a whole day to feel better, she takes some of her vital signs to make sure that she can manage being on her feet. It turns out that a good night of sleep was all she needed (and a good part of a day, at that). That's fine.

Otherwise? She has to acquaint herself with the city again. A cursory glance told her that she has a lot of reading to do. And a lot of seeing how things are in New Amsterdam proper. Clarke makes a to-do list:

a. get a new job. Giles Bell is surprisingly forgiving about her absence, but she tells them that she doesn't think it's the path she'd like to take. Having an evil scientist in her head really did a number on her, so she's willing to avoid too much science at the moment. She'll be hitting the streets to look for ideas.

b. Ask around about the animals that are getting into the city. Clarke hasn't seen any yet, but she knows they're around.

c. Check into travel to and from the city. This is for a future project, one important to all of the Displaced.

d. Start volunteering. She has enough medical training that she can do that. It's a place to start.

e. Otherwise, just be around for the first time since she came back inside of the walls after the EMP. She hadn't stuck around for long, either. Her disappearance was near immediate after she came back with Jyn and Prompto, vanishing before she even hit her apartment on her way home.

Clarke will look different. Her hair is more purposefully cut, and she starts to tend toward a darker wardrobe, with some splashes of red and blue where needed. She is older by six years, and carries herself in a way where someone may pick that up. But she's not exactly going to go around announcing it, not yet.

She has things that she has to do. A lot of things.]

[ooc: I'll also be putting prompts below! If you'd like a thread with Clarke, hit me up in PMs, on plurk @ medieval, or on Discord @ alison#8996.]

Comments

[strove]

Yeah, the Primes don't wait for someone to die. They speed up the process with their serum. [Definitely fucked up. Clarke takes a drink herself, allowing the liquid to pour down her throat. Beer here is nice, though she'll always look forward to the moonshine contests every Halloween. Now that she knows Monty's gone, it's even more important to celebrate her connection to that.]

Thankfully, she's all gone. In general, she was ... the leader of their whole—[she waves a hand]—thing. She was the first to be brought back, and also the first to suggest oblation as a means of getting people to hand over their lives willingly to a choice few. She was also keen on eugenics, so ... [A roll of her shoulders. That should speak for itself.]

I know a lot about her now. I wish that I didn't.

[resleeves]

Well, in case you didn't know, that's pretty fucking fucked up.

[ but so were stacks, if you thought about it. they were just fucked up on different levels. kovacs mulls over all she's said and blows out a breath. ]

Could you use what you know and turn it into an advantage of some kind? Fuck her over that way?

[strove]

Not unless I want to trick her family into thinking I'm her still. I don't know enough to pass, but she's not exactly the sentimental type. [The only exception is everything with Gabriel, and that doesn't factor in. There would be little reason for him to come up unless she asked about him.

Clarke's forehead does wrinkle, though, thinking it through.]

Which ... I could do. [A beat.] Mind you, most of my plans involve staying here instead of going back there. And bringing the people who matter over. Her family can keep her world.

[resleeves]

Bringing people over. [ there's no judgment in the tone. curiosity, maybe, but no judgment. if she wants to stay here, so be it. he's not sure what he wants to do, not with so many question marks still lingering but maybe. ]

Guess the first step would be figuring out how to bring people here. I don't exactly remember the process between there and here.

[strove]

No, none of us know. Otherwise, a lot of people would be gone. I know people want to be gone. [New Amsterdam has been difficult for some, to put it lightly. Clarke doesn't chafe against it, but she knows that time away from Madi will eventually take its toll on her. The only good thing is knowing that time isn't speeding by.

(It's also good that she doesn't know her daughter is currently being slowly taken over by a psychopath. There is that.)]

But I've never been a fan of forcing everyone out the door. A few of us think that way. So ... whatever we come to in the long term, I just need to make sure it works out for the best for me and my people.

[And ensuring this world lives long enough should they come here.]

[resleeves]

[ it's noble. he can admit that it's fuckin noble to want that. ]

I don't know if I'd stay. I've got...things that are still in need of attention where I come from. People I have to try and track down.

[ his sister was dead but was quell? he wouldn't be able to rest completely until he knew. ]

Maybe if I find her, I'd come back. If it was possible.

[strove]

It might be. [If a door can open, can't it open again? Clarke doesn't know, but can only hope. There are a number of people who would leave. She knows that.] I hope it'll be. The question is whether once you return home, you'll want to come back. For some of us, we already know the answer.

[Clarke knows that the people of this world would chastise her and her people the same way that the people of Sanctum did. They would speak of their genocide, of their poor actions. Would they they don't deserve the opportunity to live here.

So Clarke intends to keep that under wraps for as long as she can. Perhaps forever.]

I knew you had people. I basically pried out that they exist on Halloween, remember? [She smiles.] It's good that you have them.

[resleeves]

[ he chuckles dryly and rubs his arm across his forehead. ]

Most of them are dead or presumed dead. [ his sister. quell. poe. ] And those that aren't...

[ god, he doesn't even know what ortega is. but, he can't bother her anymore. she has to go on with her life without the sleeve of her dead ex boyfriend hanging around. ]

I had them. I don't know if I still do.

[strove]

At the end of the day, you still have to know. [Clarke understands that. The only reason she hadn't been driven to go back home was because she genuinely didn't know if she would survive the experience. If she had known about Madi, it would've been different. But alone, without anyone to focus on but herself and her survival? She kept herself sane for two months with messages that Bellamy would never hear.

She can't imagine doing that for another two thousand days without Madi.]

I understand. I wanted to stay here before, but I had good reason for it. Now I want to bring my people here. But ... just days ago—to me, anyway—I might have fought to go back. For a few brief moments there, it looked like we had something good. And even if we didn't, we could've made it good.

[They were determined to make that happen no matter what.]

[resleeves]

Yeah. There are worse places to be than this place. [ when it wasn't trying to kill you dead, it wasn't that bad. better than some of the shitty places on earth he'd been too. not better than harlan's world but nothing was. ]

You prepared to deal with what happens if they don't wanna come? Or not thinking about that? [ she has a goal but he knows from experience that not everyone is always going to be accepting of that goal. ]

[strove]

I don't think it's going to come to that. [In truth, Clarke hasn't faced that reality yet. It wasn't as if Monty gave them a choice: they couldn't return to Earth, so they went to the closest planet that was inhabitable. There was no proof that it would be, so they were heading down to the planet's surface blind. Of course, the planet itself is a moon, which likely explains a lot of the weird stuff that gets on there.]

At least ... I hope not. I think they'll be more concerned with why I'm here than anything else. How I've been here. If I'm even really me, after everything that's happened.

[resleeves]

I assume you have a plan to convince them that you're you and not some pod person?

[ he doesn't say it aloud but she seems to be one of those people who thinks through almost all avenues that might occur once a choice is made. ]

Fingerprints? Polygraph test? Song and dance that only you know?

[strove]

I'll think of something. [Clarke tries to sound dismissive, but sounds uneasy. The reality of it is this: if Clarke pitches this totally insane plan, everyone will believe it's her. Josephine Lightbourne struggles with empathy more than most people.] Or just ... I'll hope that everyone can tell. Me and Josephine don't actually share much in common. For one thing, she's a bit of a ... survivalist of the worst kind. A monster, if you want to be more blunt. I'll at least have character witnesses here.

[A pause. A point of realization.]

Though now I have a feeling that if this gets around, I might have to prove myself to ... everyone here. Can we keep this between us? I—it's not like I have my best friend here to convince everyone I was saved. [Her expression falls. At least Clarke won't be pushing for any of them to be recognized as ... literal gods? But the stuff inside of them is tied to one.

That's definitely a pickle she hadn't considered yet.]

[resleeves]

I'll keep your secret.

[ and he wouldn't say that to just anyone. or maybe he would and he'd lie but he wouldn't tell anyone what she'd told him. ]

Most people here don't know how the fuck I exist either. So, I'm sure I'd be answering similar questions and I'm too fucking lay for that.

[ so mutually beneficial secret keeping. ]

[strove]

Wow, and you told me. [Clarke's brow wrinkles and then her expression settles into a sly expression. The fact that he told her? That means they're friends.]

And you weren't too lazy to do so. That makes us friends, I think.

[resleeves]

[ kovacs scoffs but, miracle of miracles, doesn't reject that statement immediately. ]

It's not always smart to say you're my friend.

[ didn't tend to end well. ]

[strove]

Many people could say the same for me. [How many people have died because of Clarke? Because they know Clarke? How many people have died because of how she acts, how she's made her mistakes?

Too many.]

The real one in danger could be you.

[resleeves]

Fuck that. I'm the bigger danger.

[ it's possible that he might be joking. very possible. ]

Everyone I know dies.

[ what a them thing to joke about. ]

[strove]

[It definitely is a very them thing to joke about. Clarke takes up her drink, taking a long swig off of it. Since they've been talking, it's gotten warmer.

But ... well. Clarke isn't a girl who minds a warm beer.]

Well, try this. My, uh, title back home? [A beat.] It's Wanheda. It means "Commander of Death." I think that means I win. Not an achievement anyone would want, but ... here we are.

[resleeves]

Okay, that's impressive.

[ he hadn't actually had an official title like that. ]

All I got was terrorist. Or pet terrorist. I'm a little jealous you got something as fuckin' cool as that sounds.

[strove]

Pet terrorist. Does that mean that they believed that you of all people were under someone else's thumb?

[In Clarke's experience, "terrorist" is a term that can be applied when someone is simply an enemy. Pike is proof of that.]

[resleeves]

Pet terrorist, freedom fighter, super soldier. I'd gotten all those labels and then some.

[ it all depended on the person. ]

Just depended on who was talking to me. Most people went with terrorist though. They didn't understand what was going on and what I did.

[ they didn't understand quell and the envoys. ]

Fuck them.

[strove]

Hard to believe that someone wouldn't agree with them. [It's an interesting way of looking at it. On the Ark, rebellions were crushed most of the time, making it difficult for anything to get very far. On the ground, the factions were split and divided in a different way: by clans, by a loose definition of a "people." Going against that was seen as wrong, and occasionally weaponized to prove a point.

It's precisely what Lexa—and later, Octavia—had fought to stop. Had tried to prevent. Those lines would always have a way of returning, flaring up like an old wound coming to haunt someone.]

You believe in what you did, right? For you and your own. Your people.

[resleeves]

I would do it again in a fucking heartbeat.

[ he would follow quell anywhere and listen to anything she said. her thoughts were his thoughts and while she would cringe at that, that doesn't make it any less true. she'd given him a purpose and a reason when he'd had little else to point himself towards. ]

If they want to think I'm some fucking monster, let them. I know what's true.

[strove]

What is true? What did you have to do? [As much as Clarke has decided to have faith in him, she realizes that she has to ask. Bring it out in the open, rather than leave it as an elephant that hasn't been allowed inside. For once, she doesn't tender information in return: doesn't offer up anything with her questions.

Knowing Clarke? She will.

Just not yet.]