[open]

[strove]

WHO: Clarke Griffin + anyone
WHERE: New Amsterdam
WHEN: The very end of November 2511 into December 2511
WHAT: Returning from a canon update, reintegrating.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Likely references to loss of autonomy, death, bodysnatching without consent, and spoilers for the entirety of season 6 of The 100.

[Arriving back in New Amsterdam is a shock to Clarke's system. She wakes up in her bed—her bed. Not Josephine Lightbourne's. Her body. Not Josephine Lightbourne's. Whereas she has handled all of these complications back home, there's still a haziness in adjusting here. Two lives lived parallel. Whereas before, she had been certain that her life would be lonely, barely lived—her mind works to correct. To repair. To adjust. She can't adhere to notions that she held before. It will take time. Adjust. Adapt.

Adapt.

And do better. That's the one mantra that stays with her. Being here doesn't change that. Do better. Josephine had mocked that need, but that just tells Clarke that she was on the right track. That she is on the right track. Do better. So, she will.

Once Clarke has slept about a whole day to feel better, she takes some of her vital signs to make sure that she can manage being on her feet. It turns out that a good night of sleep was all she needed (and a good part of a day, at that). That's fine.

Otherwise? She has to acquaint herself with the city again. A cursory glance told her that she has a lot of reading to do. And a lot of seeing how things are in New Amsterdam proper. Clarke makes a to-do list:

a. get a new job. Giles Bell is surprisingly forgiving about her absence, but she tells them that she doesn't think it's the path she'd like to take. Having an evil scientist in her head really did a number on her, so she's willing to avoid too much science at the moment. She'll be hitting the streets to look for ideas.

b. Ask around about the animals that are getting into the city. Clarke hasn't seen any yet, but she knows they're around.

c. Check into travel to and from the city. This is for a future project, one important to all of the Displaced.

d. Start volunteering. She has enough medical training that she can do that. It's a place to start.

e. Otherwise, just be around for the first time since she came back inside of the walls after the EMP. She hadn't stuck around for long, either. Her disappearance was near immediate after she came back with Jyn and Prompto, vanishing before she even hit her apartment on her way home.

Clarke will look different. Her hair is more purposefully cut, and she starts to tend toward a darker wardrobe, with some splashes of red and blue where needed. She is older by six years, and carries herself in a way where someone may pick that up. But she's not exactly going to go around announcing it, not yet.

She has things that she has to do. A lot of things.]

[ooc: I'll also be putting prompts below! If you'd like a thread with Clarke, hit me up in PMs, on plurk @ medieval, or on Discord @ alison#8996.]

Comments

[kleptocratic]

When you don't want that, anymore. That's when you've really lost.

[ There's a lilt in his voice that sounds almost like regret. But his feelings are distant now, like light shining through prison bars. ]

I don't know how to stop causing trouble. I suspect the quiet life is overrated, and only loved by philosophers.

[strove]

Philosophers like to write books and make sure that everyone knows what they have to say. It's not necessarily loud, but they stand out when they can. [The big ones, anyway. It's an aside, a remark that fills the space while she thinks through what she's going to tell him. What to share.

Silence makes its way in any way, but she manages to find the words.]

I nearly gave up. Once when I was alone, and once when I was on the brink of death. The second time ... someone truly made me believe that everyone would be better off without that brand of trouble. That it was time for me to sacrifice. Something tells me that you know that feeling.

["I don't know how to stop causing trouble." They're one and the same in that boat.]

[kleptocratic]

No. I'm the only one who makes me feel that way.

[ He leans back, hiding some of his face, taking some of the venom out of his still bitter words. He doesn't need to stare straight ahead, unblinking, like a shield braced for spearpoint. Eugenides is not king here, and he doesn't have to put on that mask— or take it off. ]

Other people saying so only makes me want to cause more trouble, out of spite.

[strove]

I admire that. [The words just come—warm and sentimental, something she sincerely feels in that moment. Being contrary just to be contrary—it's a feature she likes in a number of people. It's why she wants to work with Octavia, why she's never truly been bothered by Raven's bouts of anger with her (she's almost always been justified). Clarke can be contrary to be contrary, but there's always a goal, a focus. A reason behind her actions. She can't help it.]

Sometimes people need to be treated with spite. That's all. Meanwhile, you can make me feel ... remorse for just about anything. [Self aware? Yes. But having a sociopath running around in her head manipulating her definitely forced her to face some of her worst qualities.

As well as the qualities others can utilize against her.]

[kleptocratic]

[ His lips twist into a grin. ]

I meant it when I said I'm extremely manipulative, you know. You probably shouldn't draw me a map.

[ Eugenides is extremely manipulative, and this warning will make him feel better about it when eventually he uses Clarke like he eventually does everyone he knows. Or maybe it won't. Eugenides is a real piece of work.

He still isn't looking at her. ]

[strove]

Well, if Damian is to be believed, I'm no better. I'll just have to make sure our interests still align. Right now? The fact that we're roommates likely means that I'm safe.

[Clarke gladly draws him a map because, at the end of the day, she seems to take those moments in stride.

And at least Eugenides isn't a eugenics-loving monster. It's a low bar to clear, but he did it. Congratulations.]

[kleptocratic]

Safe from me.

[ Which is hardly the same thing. ]

[strove]

You think I'm going to provide a guide to hurt me for most people? I wouldn't have survived this long if I had.

[The most recent case was—unique, to put it simply. It wasn't as if most people could get inside of her head and know what she was thinking. Clarke was, quite generally, very opposed to the idea.]

[kleptocratic]

I think—

[ And now he does look at her now, the shadows clinging to the scar on his cheek. ]

I think that you are good enough at surviving that you can afford to give up some of your advantage.

[strove]

That's likely true. I had all the advantage taken from me at one point, and I'm still here.

[Josephine is a true horror story. Nothing in Clarke's life can compare, and that's saying something.]

It sounds like you know that just as well. Life should be about more than just surviving. [A mantra that Clarke has taken to heart, and they were some of the first she shared forcefully with Lexa.]

[kleptocratic]

Is that what the last few years have taught you?

[ For all that time has proven to be a flexible thing for the Displaced, it is still very strange, and difficult to think about. It's only been weeks here. ]

[strove]

Yes. [Six years hadn't done the trick. One video and a hundred or more years of separation from an old friend did. It hurts to no longer have Monty. It hurts even more to know that in his dying days, he still believed in what she and Bellamy could do together.]

Well, it was a little late. But I learned that I need to be better about living up to it.

[kleptocratic]

"Easy to repeat a lesson, hard to keep it." One of the philosophers said that. Maybe Empedocles.

[ Not that it matters. He doesn't know if this place even has an Empedocles. Just his luck that there was a Galen. ]

We don't have forever to learn.

[ And maybe he's not just saying that for Clarke. ]

[strove]

[Clarke searches for Empedocles on her implant, coming up with his name and filing the search away for later. Now isn't the time to expand her knowledge. She's surprised that there is anything from his world that could be in this one.

But, again, a talk for another time.]

No, we don't. So, it's good when we do.

[kleptocratic]

And how is that going to change what you want here?

[ Since she's hinted that there's something. ]

[strove]

Before I just wanted to stay. I thought that maybe I could help, but I wasn't sure. Now I want to bring my people here, and to help this world. To bring my daughter here so we can live peacefully. I want to offer this world something so they can understand why I want to be a part of it when it's all said and done.

[An impossible task in the end.]

I don't know if I can, but my people need somewhere to go, and my daughter needs a chance at a normal life. I'm afraid this is the only place she can get it.

[Sanctum seems determined to keep Clarke from doing better.]

[kleptocratic]

Is that possible?

[ It isn't something his own mind had ever considered. None of them really knew who was bringing people here, and why some of them— like Clarke— got sent away. ]

I don't mean peace, by the way. Though you have to admit, that's an open question.

[ Not a terrible thing to want, though. ]

[strove]

The people we saw don't think so. But within just a few days, they tried to kill me and possess my body with their daughter. [A heavy thing to throw at Eugenides without context. Clarke pants a sigh, looking a touch broken, a touch uneasy. If she were back home, she wouldn't be able to dwell. There would be too much work there.

Not that she thinks of Sanctum as home. Her people are her home for better or worse.]

We visited a strange people who had left our planet first, and we sought them out in hope that they could offer us sanctuary. They learned of everything that happened before, and wanted us to leave. A select few act as gods, prolonging their lives with technology that allows them to take over other people's bodies. [The explanation may not be enough, but it'll have to do.]

That's not a place that will welcome my people, especially if we prove to be a threat. And even being myself again is proof that we are. Is it possible to bring them here? I don't know. But I'd prefer to answer that question rather than leave it hanging, always wondering if we could've had this place to call home.

[kleptocratic]

[ His mouth twists a little as she describes the possession. That's new. And horrifying. He will have to add it to the list of new and horrifying things. Clarke's expression isn't helping. This is something he'll need to learn more about later.

But he manages to put another face on. ]

Well, if that doesn't work, maybe you could come to Attolia.

[strove]

[The offer doesn't surprise her. If it had been the first, Clarke would be stunned by it. But Markus had been the first. Though Clarke does think about it. This isn't just someone inviting her home. This is a king inviting a whole population of people—dangerous people—into his home.

Clarke's eyebrows pinch together, worry lines appearing on her forehead.]

The people of Sanctum had good cause to fear my people. We destroyed our home, and we're quick to go to war. I've killed more people than I can even count at this point. [Many with a conscious act and thought. Some not. Too few people were in that second category.]

There's a lot I haven't told you about me. It feels—more balanced to try to bring them here, than to risk destroying someone else's world.

[kleptocratic]

Yes. Killing is what happens in war. I know because I've done that, too.

[ Not to the extent Clarke has, of course, but he's killed more people than he has fingers, despite swearing an oath that he never would.

(Of course he also had more fingers then.) ]

But a word of advice, from someone who is terrible at diplomacy, this is not how I'd plead my own case.

[strove]

You're my friend. [Yes, it's a terrible diplomatic move. Clarke doesn't actually care about that at the moment. It's a lot to ask someone close to her to take a chance on an unknown group, especially given their body count. That wasn't her tack with Sanctum, though part of that was messed up because of Jordan's intervention.

(Basically: the kid bragged about all the "cool things" Clarke and the others had done, which are not things that sound cool from the objective observer.)]

If Attolia has to be an option and coming here is just a waypoint to somewhere else, it's better that you know. Besides, I tend to get involved with politics the moment I turn up. You'd have to be prepared for that.

[kleptocratic]

[ He makes an expression that's someplace between a pout and a grimace. ]

Nothing good ever comes from politics.

[ Not that Eugenides hasn't considered this. Not that Eugenides right now isn't considering whether and how he could turn Clarke's warlike people to his hypothetical advantage. The balance of power between the crown's mercenaries and the barons was already delicate, and so was the situation with the Mede, but sometimes the best move was to throw out the whole game.

In truth, though, it was an offer he made on impulse, without thinking. And Eugenides found that questioning his own foolhardy impulses was rather like looking down off the edge of a rooftop. Likely to make you dizzy and rigid and not anywhere closer to solid ground. ]

I have to go back, you know. If I can, I have to go back.

[strove]

[Nothing good ever comes from politics. It's a sentiment that he's expressed before. Clarke—somehow, despite the years that should interfere with her memories—recalls that vividly. These days, it leaves her smiling. Being a leader is political in and of itself. Trying to define it any other way is foolish.

She nods, understanding what he's saying. Not only does he have his people, but he has his wife, as well.]

I understand. Most people don't want to escape a bad situation. And if I couldn't, and if my people couldn't, I'd go back to them without hesitation. But I'd prefer to find a way around that and give us a new chance, one that we can make for ourselves.

[They hadn't known what they'd find on Sanctum. The planet itself was dangerous in ways that this one wasn't. Clarke knows her people would struggle in both settings, but they know the Earth and irradiated land. At least they would be starting on familiar ground.]

[kleptocratic]

No. [ Eugenides remembers her world, what was left of it. The parts of it he saw, anyway. He also remembers a vision he had that caved in all the expensive glass in the old solarium, how he could feel his skin breaking, but not the blood. ]

It will be a bad situation. If I don't go back. [ He presses his lips together. ] I will probably make it worse.

[ But he has to try… something. That's what his experience here has taught him. ]