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MEADOWLARK MODS ([personal profile] larkers) wrote in [community profile] meadowlarklogs2019-09-08 12:26 pm

EVENT #006 AFTERMATH LOG

WHO: Everyone
WHERE: New Amsterdam
WHEN: December 19th to the end of the month.
WHAT: Event aftermath, Winter Solstice, Christmas.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Character death, self-sacrifice, drug use. Further notes at end of log.

> EVENT #006 AFTERMATH LOG

Zerzura's demise is a very near miss. Three out of four of the bombs detonate, with numerous Mycenaean guards' lives taken as a result of the assault. It's probable—even likely—that numerous Displaced were injured as a result of this attack. Just as the last bomb seemed likely to go off, everything stopped. As in: the scene ended, shifting, putting all of the Displaced to sleep. Zerzura won't end. Or will it?

The return from Zerzura will feel like waking up from a long nap. Instead of anyone waking up in their beds, they will find themselves on the ground beside the man-made river that runs down the center of New Amsterdam. The ground beneath them will be moist with recent rainfall. Anyone who was still in the throes of a fantasy and believing themselves to be a part of Zerzura will find themselves tossed out of that existence. Anyone who died at the precipice of the spear will still recall their actions vividly: their mind and body hitting a point in which it was finite, slipping away. There may be some room for doubt regarding their deaths. After all, they're very much alive now.

There are two constants among the Displaced when they observe themselves and others: that all of their chests are glowing with that familiar blue glow, and they'll all experience a feeling of serenity. This feeling won't come from any of the Displaced themselves. Much like the intrusion of the empathy bond, it will feel as if it's coming from elsewhere. The problem is that it's always there: there is no way of disconnecting, at least for now. The good news is that the serenity will begin to fade within the next day, and with it, the blue glow will go away as well.

All of the Displaced can't remain at the riverside. If they linger too long, it will begin to rain again. The rain itself will only be a light misting against their faces at first, before turning into a heavier downfall. If they're wary of returning to their lives initially because of the blue glow, they'll soon find that the people of New Amsterdam seem to look away from them as they trot through the city to return to their lives. This is a temporary sensation, seeming to have overtaken the city's citizens for the time being. Within a day or two, the blue glow will be met with the same paranoia that was fostered by the UN following the abduction of Kurt Fischer.

What can they do now? Aside from the feeling of serenity, little will have immediately changed for the Displaced. The best thing they can do is try to return to their lives as if Zerzura never happened.

Some things to check in with, though?

WORK. Upon realizing that the Displaced disappeared yet again, El worked overtime to make sure that all of the Displaced wouldn't lose their jobs. After all, that would mean they'd likely have to give up their housing, and Morningstar would need to financially step in to help. Not all of the places of employment will accept these excuses, especially since El can't put together a doctor's note without it promptly being verified as falsified. It's ultimately up to anyone's discretion over whether their character lost their job.

CHANGES. Some of the changes will appear out of nowhere: a dream that's shared, or a memory that's passed on rather unwillingly. It's time to explore what's happened, and even theorize as to why this has happened. And those objects that were the core of remembering who they were, back in Zerzura? They're permanent fixtures from now on. And what about those Union Attacks? For now, they may have an interesting place in the fighting rings. Time to convince the people running those shows to start including doubles matches.

PLANT LIFE. All around New Amsterdam, plants will begin to grow. These plants are varied, and they'll make an appearance anywhere that they might be allowed to grow. Is that a sink that's frequently full of water? Now it's mysteriously stopped up by a plant that's growing through the pipes. While all this plant life may seem like a miracle, having plants growing in every part of the city will quickly prove to be a problem.

HOLIDAY SEASON. The good news about everyone's trip to Zerzura is that they didn't miss Christmas—or rather, the December 25th edition of it. The city is still covered in Christmas trees and ornamentation. The stadium is still hosting a holiday market.

> WINTER SOLSTICE

In the days leading up to the Winter Solstice, there will be an uptick of paintings around New Amsterdam hinting as to where this year's party will be held: Sunpeak Garden. While there won't be any official notice, anyone interested or curious is free to visit this location on the day of the Solstice (December 21st) to see what's going on, and it will go on for the next three days, ending on the morning of the 24th. As they draw closer to the location itself, they'll find the botanical garden secured by a large, overarching tent, preventing rainfall from getting into the garden itself. On the air, there will be the scent of something being smoked—which they'll soon learn is a set of goats that seem to have been acquired by whoever put on this shindig.

Unlike many other events around New Amsterdam, this seems to be more private in nature. There is an unspoken understanding that beyond the paintings, there will be no social media posts. Inside of the garden, there will be a lot of plants and decorations carefully molded into sacred geometric shapes. Despite the unofficial nature, whoever put this event together definitely spent their time doing it. This Solstice party isn't a spontaneous thing, and anyone who goes will hear about the previous parties and how the proprietor does his best to make everyone happy.

Anyone who went to the Harvest Festival or Insomniac's Ball will see a lot of the same people working it, complete with some familiar tattoos. They'll be eager to welcome in any of the Displaced, especially any of the ones who tend to be featured in the shrines around the city.

Once everyone's here, they're welcome to enjoy themselves. Under some of the canopies of trees, there will be beds and futons, giving people places to rest. Some of these will be claimed, so anyone who's eager to stick around for a few days might want to get dibs. Otherwise? It's time to enjoy what's been put together:

FEAST. There will be a feast for the next three days. Aside from the smoked goats, there will be a lot of goat cheese and vegetables. These are the people who put on the harvest festival, after all. There will be a lot of pickled vegetables out on tables, salads, and everything else. Aside from cheese for snacking, anyone can partake in some delicious berries (strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries) and nuts (walnuts, pecans, peanuts, and almonds—despite the difficulty in getting most of these in New Amsterdam). There will also be figs, because of course there are figs.

FLOWER CROWNS. To go with the more laidback flair of this event, there will be flower crowns available for everyone. They will look more Christmas-like in spirit, like small little wreaths to go on everyone's heads.

ALCOHOL. Of course, what kind of Solstice or Yule event would it be without alcohol to imbibe? There will be mulled wine available, as well as the delicious apple-flavored beverage of wassail. It seems as if these two things never run out. For anyone avoiding alcohol, there will also be some sparkling grape juice and apple juice.

PSYCHEDELICS. Undoubtedly also inspired by Yule celebrations of old, anyone can partake in some species-specific (and at a safe dosage) amanita. Primarily available as a tea, anyone can drink this pleasant beverage and have a good time together.

MISTLETOE. There will be spots all around the botanical garden where the decorators took good care to make the mistletoe stand out. Surrounded by little lights, no one will be able to miss them. That means they can be easily avoided, if that's what someone would prefer!

BALL PROPRIETOR. While he's not hiding that he put this on, he's just as mysterious as before. If anyone wants to catch his eye at this event, they can. They'll need to stand out to get him to talk to them. To do this, reply below! Ball will definitely be interested in any Displaced trying to catch his eye, but it's still up to them to go through the motions.

> CHRISTMAS

As the Solstice party comes to an end, it'll be time to focus on Christmas itself. Around New Amsterdam, this is a deeply commercial holiday. Since most of New Amsterdam's citizens prefer to celebrate Sinterklaas, the day of Christmas itself largely emphasizes purchasing access to Christmas movies and giving gifts to anyone who had been forgotten earlier in the month. For new couples, Christmas Eve acts as a romantic occasion, giving them the chance to spend some time alone. Restaurants around the city will have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day specials and feasts—though these will be very expensive to enjoy.

> GRINCH INTERLUDE

Once reports start to hit the news about the rapidly healing atmosphere, a strange cypher begins to appear in the replies of people's posts on Cooltalk. This misfire appears at random and without a pattern. While some of the Displaced will get hit on their Cooltalks, they won't be among the majority by any means. How to get ahold of [profile] 100342? A reply might do the trick, or it might not. Drop a message in the questions thread with ideas!

Then again, this message more of a simple response to a slight than anything else, most likely recognizable to the displaced, who are familiar with the cipher's formula:

200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518
200805 02011414051819 1506 200805 11091407 1506 08051212 04180123 031215190518

> FINAL OOC NOTES

Welcome back to the world of New Amsterdam proper, Larkers! This will act as the mingle log for the month of September since we didn't receive any applications this month. In order to plot out some aftermath, please head over to the CR Meme for the month of September! Our September calendar and Event #006 Aftermath are also up for perusing.

If you'd like to get your character in touch with Ball, please reply to the comment below with how they'd like to stand out! Ball, like all of our NPCs, will act as a means to an end to uncover plot details. With the gates excursion on the horizon, we wanted to make him available for all of the playerbase. Due to time constraints, this means that Gaby won't be available for this log.

If you have any questions about event aftermath, please hit the thread on the Aftermath Post here. If you have any questions about this log, go to the questions thread on this post!

variate: (Those were the days.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-19 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ that's not a bad reaction. there's something sincere that he teases out of Akechi that seems to please him, and the smile that was devious turns a little softer. it's as if he's taken by his own thoughts.

it's as if the tease had gotten him back for something.
]

Yeah, not up for the challenge. That's fine, I need some practice, anyway.

[ it's hard to tell how serious he is. Ren tucks his hands into his pockets, trying to contain the twitches of his smile. there's an intensity to him that shines through without the barrier of the glasses, and his drab clothes that he used to wear to make sure that he didn't stand out.

he does a little more, now.
]
impede: (now get out of my nerdy face!)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-19 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, well—I'm sure someone else would be more suitable for what you need right now. [As much as he would like to act as if he's completely unbothered by this, that would be ... truly difficult. Oh, as a celebrity detective he had a lot of people offering to be his significant other. He always begged off because he knew he was too busy for such a connection.

And because ... of many things. What would he even do with that?

Probably not anything too different from how he is right now.]


We're dropping this, Ren. You've won this little game. Congratulations.
variate: (256)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-20 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ 💦💦💦

well now this doesn't feel like a victory at all. THANKS AKECHI.

rather than offense, there's something curious in Ren's reaction when he regards him again. it's like there's something there that he notices that he didn't before. whatever he's realized, he keeps quiet about it, and gives Akechi a raise of his hand that feels like a white flag.
]

I won't tease.

[ Ren can respect that, but he was never one to treat anyone gently. compassionately, absolutely. ]

Did you find anything out while investigating?

[ they're overdo for Akechi's change in subject. ]
impede: (blackmail makes friends right?)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-21 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
I'd say it's more that I confirmed suspicious that I had already. [Zerzura was not like the metaverse and that had never been a theory in motion, but the two concepts are interrelated enough that similar figures and functions wouldn't recall anything like the "other world." If he had been himself long enough in Zerzura, he would've had the opportunity to grasp that sooner.

And utilize it.

Instead, he chastised everyone and it amounted to little more than philosophical conversations about optimism and whether anger can be misdirected.

As if he has any right to have that conversation. (Not that he would expose his own hypocrisy to anyone else.)]


Zerzura may have been influenced by dealings and figured in this world, but they aren't one and the same. It's a reflection, not unlike the metaverse. The real question is why this group would stand to have a role in the first place.
variate: (It's not a dragonball.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-23 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
There was a collective dreamworld. It sounded more like the metaverse than Zerzura did.

[ he's been paying attention, but his approach was different than Akechi's, that's why they complimented one another. that's why he has some faith that they can do this. ]

Then there was the spear, which Spinetail had been studying. Apparently it had been in that same dreamworld.

[ it began to sound more and more like home—more like the metaverse, more like the effects of what had happened there. it was a dangerous road to go down, so he keeps the two separate: this world, and their own. ]
impede: (I call and plan a devious scheme.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-23 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
[It is a dangerous path, but one that can be used as a guide. Setting the differences and knowing them will help them moving forward. They need to establish them just the same. Those psychological principles were only given form in the metaverse, but the research behind it existed for over a century.]

The people of Zerzura were very real. Before I was changed over, I was able to discern that they weren't ... reflections of people. They lived and breathed, just as I did within that identity. Something about that world had a hold over us. Do you think it's possible that the people there were once the same? Brought in without realizing it? [It's a theory. He doesn't know if it's right, but he has to propose it just the same.

Brainwashing of everyone versus a select group. They need to determine the differences.]
variate: (Probably being sad about Akechi.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-24 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ but his thoughts are less on that, and more on the spear. there are a few things that Kylo Ren said that got his gears turning. when Akechi talks he falls quiet for the moment, letting his chatter fill the space and distract him from the sudden onslaught of memories. he tries to stop them, and tries to focus on Akechi's voice.

there's a sick feeling that comes with it, one that drops a stone from his throat to a pit in his stomach. it sits there and drags his breath, even as he tries to steady it.

not much changes in his expression. in a single, easy motion, he reaches up to pinch his nose like he's trying to ward away an oncoming migraine.
]

Yeah, but that makes our appearance really convenient. If there was a spear in both the dreamworld and Zerzura, aren't they more likely connected to the Displaced?

[ he tilts his head at him, raising it from his fingers. ]
impede: (how many people will join us?)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-25 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
It's possible. To be completely honest, I didn't interact with the spear beyond hearing about its arrival when I was still one of their consultants. I never interacted with it directly. [And yet, saying this out loud gives him pause. Akechi doesn't know about how people returned. He doesn't know what the spear did to people.]

But you're a Phantom Thief. An object like that certainly drew your attention. It was at the very heart of Zerzura.
variate: (My reflection in a cup of coffee.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-25 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ it makes him think of Morgana. it makes everything hurt more.

some things aren't apparent until the space between one thing and another is apparent: when he had Morgana and not Akechi; and now he has Akechi and not Morgana. it makes him want to snap back and say you're a Phantom Thief, too.
]

It was like it called me.

[ and he's still not sure it didn't. ]
impede: (you called me a control freak.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-25 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Did it? [These words are meaningless. Casual conversation to fill the space as his mind puts it together. Akechi didn't know how they got back. Didn't know what it meant that they were here. He only knows that he wanted to destroy that world, destroy all that it promised him. He never asked for it!

For a moment, these thoughts nearly swallow him, but he shakes them off. Pushes them aside. He's here, and nothing happened to him. All he did was fail.

(Again. He failed again.)

Shake it off.]


What happened there? I am beginning to see the pieces, but—like with anyone who only knows of the cognitive world and hasn't seen it for themselves—I need to know more. [His voice is soft, careful. What is Ren trying to tell him?]
variate: (You lost the game.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-25 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Akechi wasn't there, and he's relieved for it. small comforts, he supposes. there are some aspects of the encounter with the spear that don't strike him to talk about, but he's never been good at talking about himself, really.

he wonders how much he can trust Akechi, but neither of them have anything to gain in this game. they're in it together now.
]

We used it to break apart the fantasy. It was like the spear itself was in pain. It was grieving, and hurt. It needed us to trust it.

...

So we did.

[ and everything dissolved. ]
impede: (you're the least impressive.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-25 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
And then that world collapsed, bringing us back here. [Ren's plodding away of explaining this doesn't add up in Akechi's mind. He's not one who will claim that he's the best detective in the world—many of his conclusions were based on knowing the answer, as well as how to frame someone, after all—but he's done enough interrogations to know when someone's been pushed too far. He knows when someone is withholding, when they're too upset to speak their truth.]

What did such a thing do to those who helped this spear?
variate: (My lunch is in the trash.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-26 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ there's a moment where Ren doesn't answer, keeping quiet as he contemplates the answer. direct and to the point, not even giving him time to collect himself.

so he gives himself the time, then responds.
]

Not here.

[ not with all the people around. Ren is good at keeping himself together, even with feelings he can't reconcile, but there was a loss of control that doesn't seem to close to gap in his mind.

that and he's not sure how Akechi will respond, he'd rather ensure that he comes back, first.
]
impede: (don't judge the coffee beans.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-27 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
So, it was fine to push me about my needs and wants, but the moment it's about you—? [Akechi grouses openly, his voice dipping into that lower, unhappy tenor. It's the voice he carries when he's feeling particularly petty.]

Very well. We'll return home and strike up this conversation again. I've nothing more to find here.
variate: (Shits.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-27 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
It's more than that.

[ but Ren doesn't do a lot of explaining, he doesn't unfold the layers of what he's thinking and lay them bare. he makes a decision and sticks with it until the end. he's decided that he's ride or die for Akechi. ]

Let's go home.

[ it'll be easier to tell him there, without the possibility of skating sensitive memories. it's not far. Ren takes the cue and heads toward the direction of their small, shared apartment, expecting Akechi to follow. ]
Edited 2019-10-27 02:48 (UTC)
impede: (yes—you. and I was terrible.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-27 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[The hurt is still there. Part of it is because he felt exposed, and then teased, forced to brush up against an issue that he never had to think too hard about when his mind was draped over by an illusion.

Their walk back isn't one in silence, regardless of the tension. Akechi speaks about various surroundings as they go. Mostly, the impression there will likely be that he likes to hear himself speak. It wouldn't be the first time that Ren got that impression.

Once they arrive home, he settles in on their stiff, uncomfortable second-hand couch, head tilted forward. For all his talking, he's now forcing Ren to take the lead.]
variate: (Ouch probably.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-27 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ there are some things that need to be exposed before things can heal—Ren's learned that from his exploits as a Phantom Thief, and everything that came after it. it didn't end after something concluded, it just began. Akechi talks and Ren seems to be listening to his chatter, occasionally interjecting with an affirmative to

like most things, Ren takes his time. there's nothing about his movements that make him seem like he's postponing, but he never does anything without distinct purpose. the apartment gets closed up, and after a moment Ren takes a seat next to him.
]

I think the spear asked us to die. I think we did.

[ it comes with some feeling of discomfort that comes in subtle ways with Ren. his fingers twitch and tighten, but don't quite make it into a fist, and his brows pinch together in the center. sacrifice is a difficult thing to reconcile. ]
impede: (Adam Smith was a great thinker.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-29 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
[There is a flash of memory: Ren coming home from a long day at his current job in Zerzura, settling in beside Akechi on the couch. Akechi had been reading, feet up on the ottoman in front of him. His hand reaches out, curling around Ren's wrist, head angling to see his face. To see how he was doing.

He doesn't follow that now. Akechi's throat tightens. The knowledge is there of how a person would respond here, but he doesn't take it and utilize it. There's a specific discomfort in that knowledge, in how it might play out.

It's unfamiliar.

It doesn't belong to him. And he never asked for it.]


And you died anyway.

[How does he handle this knowledge?

Like this:]


Does it feel as if it was real? Or is it similar to the knowledge of what I intended to do to you? What I thought I did. [There is, perhaps surprisingly, no edge to his words.

"I think we did." That tells it all.]
variate: (Don't we all?)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-29 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ren has been alone, and Ren has been surrounded in friends. when he was staying in Tokyo, there was always some level of support, as the Phantom Thieves knew the type of corruption that they were confronting. Akechi had missed the good part of being a Phantom Thief—always having a friend to pull you up, to brush you off and stand behind you. being friends with Akechi had been the long process of pulling back layers, uncovering what Akechi had painted over to hide the ugly parts that were beneath.

some things he was good at, and others Akechi couldn't fumble through if he tried. there's an odd sort of comfort in the authenticity, even if the warmth isn't there.
]

Real. [ he says, after a pause. ] It didn't feel like the cognitive world. It finally felt like something was right, when everything else seemed wrong.

[ then his shoulders finally relax. ]

You were right. It felt like someone's heart.
impede: (did you know I'm dangerous?)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-29 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[In contrast, Akechi can't fathom what it feels like to have the Phantom Thieves as friends. Whatever time he spent with them ended up deluded, in part because he learned they had a plan against him the entire time. Piecing it together hadn't been easy. For once in his life, he'd been thoroughly tricked. But once he did, he saw how it played out. What those bonds truly were.

Their only real conversation came in Shido's dungeon.

As it is, it makes his approach here authentic. Akechi doesn't know how to portray the level of empathy that might be needed. He struggles. He knows Ren is in pain. The return home says it all. The cues are there.

But how does someone begin to comfort another person when they simply lack the grip on their perspective?]


We'll need to seek out that heart, then. Zerzura itself was in many ways a lie of a world made true. You should know that I tried to destroy it once I was free. [This will come as no surprise to Ren. He doesn't bother to hide it. Again: there is no edge, but he doesn't pretend to be nice, either. He's thoughtful, debating his words.]

But having something so obviously signified as a heart ... we would be foolish to ignore it.
variate: (Fuck the legal system.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-30 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ for Ren it was never so simple: he had tricked Akechi, but it had never been his sole motivation. he had genuinely enjoyed their time together, when they were in Mementos or playing pool. he knows that it might've been both of them in the Velvet Room if things were different, and thinks it would be nice not to have been alone there. ]

I'm sure a lot of people did. I wouldn't put that decision on anyone. Not any of the Displaced, and not you. [ sacrifice was someone's choice. Akechi had made the decision once, and Ren didn't expect anyone to choose the same. he didn't want Akechi to have to do it again.

there's a little nod.
]

We need to find it.

[ then a breath that comes from his stomach and up to his throat as he leans back against the couch and slouches down into the hard cushions. for a moment he settles there, and then turns the hand that's on his knee over to face Akechi. his fingers are half coiled inward, but it's an invitation.

it threatens to bring the flood of emotions with the perspective of the end of Zerzura with it.
]
impede: (wait - this is too self aware.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-31 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Such emotions aren't impossible to comprehend. As in: he doesn't know what to expect when he touches anyone anywhere, but he can guess what he would get here. The very thought of it is terrifying.

The Goro Akechi of Zerzura was a detective in truth. He did right by the world, solving crimes and consulting in the places where an objective perspective was needed. But it was still a utopia in every sense of the word. Perfect. The flaws came within the definition of the world. It was one that may have been shaped to be destroyed. That's a part of the mystery that they still have to solve.

The Goro Akechi of Zerzura had held Ren's hand countless times, had already solved the mystery of what it felt to be closer. The bond between them was palpable. That Akechi knew what he wanted from life. He reveled in the praise of just about anyone, drinking it in every time he had the chance. He didn't shy away from his needs or desires, because there was no point. And he rejected his family because he needed independence: he needed something that wouldn't throw the real Akechi out of a fantasy.

All of that seems so fucking fake now. It angers him and twists him up. The shades of memories that he can't let go of no matter what. He never asked for it. Ren saying that he knew what he wanted was a lie. That was a life that was forced upon him.

He knows that this isn't a trick. A way to prove that he's right. Ren wouldn't do that.

But Akechi feels no less compelled to think of it that way. No, that's not it. He feels trapped and uncertain, and if he doesn't know the right answer, he doesn't need to give any answer at all. Doesn't that line up? Doesn't it make sense?

His closest hand balls into a fist. Ren is hurting, but Akechi has never been anyone's solace.]


Ren. [Crisp and singular. He doesn't say more. It's in a lower octave, declaring his discomfort.]
variate: (I need them to see.)

[personal profile] variate 2019-10-31 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ the Akechi that knew what to do had thrown him off. it felt too easy. with all hurtful things that happened, there was fumbling through realignment of how to reach out again. they all had it, and Akechi had just begun to scratch the surface of what he wanted. Ren knew Zerzura was wrong, because the Akechi he liked wasn't just the shining detective prince with the infallible record: it was the messy, angry, complicated Akechi who clawed his way up until his fingers were raw. it seemed like disrespect to let all that go, to take good parts and leave behind the rest of what they had survived.

that's what had grounded him there. there was no life that he wanted more than his own, ugliness and all.

Ren tilts his head over his shoulder and looks at him, takes the word of caution but it looks like he's already made up his mind. it's not an expectation, but an invitation. he had pulled back the layers already, and he's offering Akechi the same vulnerability.
]

I know. [ and that doesn't come without weight. ] You shared with me.

[ it's an offering, and a truth. uncomfortable for both of them, but that doesn't keep Ren from offering. the fingers on his knee twitch, and curl in just a little bit. the spear is there, Zerzura is there, the truth, perhaps, but everything else that comes with it. ]
impede: (sometimes they throw tantrums.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-11-02 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
You know as well as I do that I didn't have a choice in the matter. [It's not as if the Akechi of That World had known to keep his business a secret. He didn't see any reason to, and the fact was, he doesn't need Joker to offer anything in return. He doesn't see a demand for it. Even his petty rebuke had been just that—not a demand for any kind of return on investment.]

Keep it to yourself. Even if it would make you feel better, it's not what I want. [He makes a frustrated sound, realizing his words.] I never asked for it, understood? That's all.

[He realizes that "it's not what I want" could apply to the wrong words. He's angry with himself.

After a moment, he stands up, putting distance between him and Ren.]


We were trapped, and now I feel trapped again. Be more cautious.
variate: (139)

[personal profile] variate 2019-11-02 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ his fingers curl in and his hand turns over his knee. there's the barest of pauses before there's a nod. ]

Sorry, that's not fair to you.

[ it's sincere, because he doesn't want that. the last thing he wants anyone to feel is trapped. when Akechi rises, Ren does too, but with the intention of heading to bed. he doesn't need Morgana to tell him that it's time. there's some exhaustion that creeps up behind his eyes, and a cue that he doesn't miss. ]

I'm just glad you're back. [ there were things to do while he was gone, but he couldn't say that he wasn't a little bit lonely. it's how he felt when Morgana had run off, a little anxious, like something was constantly missing from the daily ritual of his life. ] But we should both get some rest.

[ his voice is low, a little tugged at the edges. he rubs the side of his neck as he heads over to his room with plenty to think about. ]

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[personal profile] impede - 2019-11-02 02:27 (UTC) - Expand