she's a siren in the night, with streaks of red and blue

[realists]

WHO: gaby, jyn, & silena
WHERE: around the city
WHEN: dec 20, 2511 through jan 1ish, 2512
WHAT: open & closed catch all for ooc sept & october
NOTES OR WARNINGS: please see individual threads for applicable warnings

( catch all for these girls, for dreams and more. hit me up at the cr meme or via discord @ baleinette#3692 or pm for an individual starter or just drop your own starter in here )

Comments

[chocolateries]

I know.

[ she has the decency to look chagrined at her own behavior, the rest of the dream or the memory carrying on as if in the distance, dim and muted. she is better than this, except she is not. she is seventeen and hurt and not over any of this since it happened three weeks ago. ]

When I said stick with me I should have remembered I am the problem.

[heliophilous]

The problem?

[ why did that sound so foreboding? ]

How much of a problem are we talking?

[chocolateries]

[ silena doesn't want to tell marcos the truth because she doesn't want him to be disappointed in her. would it have been easier had he not been her father in zerzura? probably, but it isn't like silena wants to disappoint anyone. ]

There was a spy in camp, telling the Titans our plans.

[ she doesn't say anything else but she is pretty sure he can figure out the implication. ]

[heliophilous]

A spy?

[ his eyes narrow as he focuses on her. ]

Why would someone do that?

[chocolateries]

Because they were thirteen and the boy that was always sweet to them asked. By the time they realized it was wrong everything was out of control and when I told Luke I wanted to stop he threatened to tell everyone it was me, he said he would hurt Charlie.

[ luke was charismatic, charming. silena was a teenage girl with a crush and he told her that she would be saving lives. she was a child. luke made her do awful things -- she poisoned thalia's tree and framed chiron at his request -- but losing charlie hurt more than anything else and she gave up fighting luke until she couldn't anymore. ]

He promised me no one would get hurt, but Charlie...

[ her voice cracks and she trails off. ]

[heliophilous]

I'm sorry.

[ he says the words quietly, reaching out to put a firm hand on her shoulder. she hadn't done anything wrong. she'd been used and manipulated and had her feelings abused by someone who trusted. ]

I'm sorry about Charlie. I'm sorry that you trusted the wrong person. I've done that too. It's...I'm sorry.

[chocolateries]

[ silena desperately wants his compassion, she wants to think that it all comes down to trusting the wrong person and not some personal moral failing on her part, but it doesn't matter. she still did it. lee and castor and all the other demigods at the labyrinth died because of what she did, how many demigods were going to die today or tomorrow?

charlie died. ]

I never thought it would go this far.

[ no one ever does. ]

[heliophilous]

I know. It's not your fault. It happens. It's happened to me before.

[ he'd trusted esme, hadn't he? let her into the mutant underground and look what happened. ]

The only thing we can do is try and be better about it in the future. We grieve those that might have been lost and we try and do better.

[chocolateries]

[ silena's expression crumples for a moment. marcos had been so unhappy about the people that died in zerzura, silena decides she doesn't need to add to the pile of death at his feet. she plasters a smile on her face, brittle and fragile.

she might not have a future in this dream, but she's alive somewhere and maybe new amsterdam is her chance to make up for screwing up so enormously in new...york. ]

You're right.

[heliophilous]

Silena, what's wrong?

[ you weren't going to fool him with a smile like that. he's seen it before and he knows there's something else lurking behind it. ]

It's okay, you know? It's going to be okay and we're going to be okay.

[ a dream couldn't kill them. ]

[chocolateries]

It's okay. I'm gonna wake up now.

[ AND SHE FUCKING DOES? was the power within her the entire time and she just let it play out because she wanted an easy way to explain her life to marcos and also to sit on the throne?

yes, 100%.

the next moment, they are both awake in their respective beds in new amsterdam, in reality, free of silena's demigod dream. ]

[heliophilous]

[ marcos wakes up a few seconds later, staring up at his ceiling and blowing out a breath.

he considers sending a message to silena to make sure she's okay but...decides to let her have her quiet time. that's what he wanted when he'd come out of a dream.

so, he just lays there and stares at the ceiling. ]