strove: (they say bacon is the best)
thanks clarke ([personal profile] strove) wrote in [community profile] meadowlarklogs2019-10-07 01:20 pm

[open log] i don't care about the mess you made

WHO: Clarke Griffin, Riku, and Goro Akechi + anyone who wants to do some dreams or other stuff
WHERE: Dreams, New Amsterdam.
WHEN: Month of January IC!
WHAT: Dreams, memory shares, etc. General open log things.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation for Akechi and Clarke (respectively).

[Riku, Clarke, and Akechi couldn't be more different on the surface—but when it comes to dreams, to the control of the mind and the actions they take, the similarities come together. Oddly enough, each of them has some experience over this space. Riku, through being a Dreameater. Clarke, through Josephine taking over her body and through having to fight back against the sociopathic scientist. And Akechi through the metaverse, having to traverse it alone. That's not to say that they have special powers here: but control is something that will come more easily, as will lucidity.

Of course, thematically they're different:]


riku: mistakes of the past, worries of the present

[These days, Riku is more or less at peace with himself. Once, his dreams were mercurial and lacked control. They showed his worry about strength. Power. And at times, Darkness—the Darkness that reigned over his life, that acted as a threat. These days, that Darkness is as much a part of him as anything: trapped in his heart, a constant in motion. A part of who he is.

But there are themes and motifs that reoccur. Friends fading away. The danger of thinking too much, even if the thoughts don't string together. A friend slipping, falling into a wave of Darkness. More recently: images of his home falling apart, of New Amsterdam falling to the same ruin, crashed into by a wave of dangerous Darkness.

And of friends dying. Of not being able to do enough. Of the struggle of having to accept that they will do as they do, even if he can't do nothing. His hands always tied, forced to be idle, passive. Accepting that, too.

There is always a push for logic against even the most irrational of thoughts. Always.]


clarke: guilt, the lives she's taken, a peaceful interlude

[Many of Clarke's dreams take place separate from what would be her mindscape. Her dreams are of green: sprawling trees with a beautiful, forested canopy. A bright sun overhead, though sometimes there are two. But in the horizon, there may or may not be ruin: ruins of a city that managed to come together in the aftermath of an apocalypse, or ruins of a world, covered in dirt and sand, and strange creatures that burrow into the ground and can dig into someone's skin. She doesn't dream of those creatures, not often.

When she can, Clarke dreams of what could be: a life in this area of rich, fertile environment. A time with her daughter, her mother, her friends. Bellamy is there when he can be, but during times of strife, it seems she has a hard time facing him. (This Bellamy is older, with facial hair and a calmer expression. Like he knows to keep what he can inside.)

When there are people present, there is always a pressure. Of being boxed in, of being the one to find the solutions. Clarke always feels as if her answers are the wrong answers, and they show here. But there is no resentment toward the many, many people in her life: angry, making demands. Just an acceptance. Clarke doesn't feel as if they're wrong to ask so much of her. Besides, she put herself in that position to ask to make those decisions.

After all, she is a mother. A leader. But also: a tumor. A cancer. These days, Clarke doesn't let those thoughts creep up, but in dreams, who can say?]


akechi: wasted potential, what could have been

[Akechi doesn't dream of exact moments or of exact places: he dreams of the settings he likes, with drawn out, complicated scenarios where he's called upon to solve a problem. Solve any problem. Because he is someone who came into his power at an age when he was already embittered by the world, embroiled in hatred for everything around him. His mother committed suicide when he was young, and he was forced to be passed from home to home, a blemish upon his family and upon the world. An illegitimate child and a problem. Rather than choosing to overcome these notions, Akechi internalized them, took them to heart.

His dreams reflect this: colored often in blacks and reds, with Akechi moving alone, carrying every purpose that he believes that only he can accomplish. His dreams are a sign of how he deluded himself: believing that his long term plans would become something at some point.

He is extremely intelligent, and his dreams show it: with him trying to make logic out of nothing, out of the world around him. He seems to be at odds with it, caught between a sense of justice (inherently emotional) and a world out of order, one that's inevitably going to be that way no matter what.

If Akechi's gambit had paid off—if he had been aware that he was a part of a game with a gambit in motion—his view of the world would've taken hold. It would've fallen into disarray, granting control to a single deity because people are inherently messed up. At the heart of his dreams, this is a singular, notable truth. It's just one that's at odds with what Akechi really wants: to be praised, loved, and seen as less than a blemish and more that someone who can accomplish things. He just hasn't admitted as much to himself.]


ooc notes

[The general overview here is to give people an idea of what my characters' dreams would contain. This is an open log, and you can request a starter hitting on one of the notes above! I'll also be posting closed requested starters below. I'm also open to memory sharing or characters just catching up, though the former may need to come along organically (as none of my three know it's on the table).

If you'd like to discuss further, hit me up on plurk @ medieval or on discord at alison#8996.]
realists: (ro » accepting)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-03 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
I trust you.

[ her eyes cut over clarke's shoulder to where madi is still inexpertly playing with her peers. she looks like a fast learner and jyn smiles reflexively, however small a smile it may be. clarke wants a place for her family and jyn understands that need to belong somewhere, safely. ]

I get it. [ she nods again, affirming. ] If it feels right, it feels right.
realists: (ro » friendship)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-05 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
You're a survivor.

[ it takes an adaptability to survive the way they have, the ability to reassess and change when need be instead of being so pigheaded and mulish that they push away any opinion that isn't their own. jyn and clarke have gotten there, some people haven't. ]

We'll figure it out. The gates, Northern America... Madi.

[ who knew a conversation atop a rubbish bin would lead to this. prompto would be proud of them. ]
realists: (ro » i hate talls)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-11 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
Everyone.

[ jyn isn't going to police.

unless krennic shows up with some batch of arrivals in which case everyone will get to watch jyn murder someone with her bare hands. krennic is barred. the same ban does not apply to clarke's people or daisy's people or anyone else who might want to stay and build a safe haven for their friends and family.

the only thing set in stone is that clarke has to be jyn's neighbor, that has been decided. ]


You're the first dream I've been in. [ hopefully the last, jyn was very uncomfortable having had daisy and illya reliving her nightmares. this is loads better but that doesn't mean she wants it to keep happening. ]
realists: (ro » solitude)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-13 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ someone she lost, from the sound of it. jyn touches her arm sympathetically. ]

Daisy was in one of mine. At the end.

[ jyn can throw around allusions to her own untimely death with strangers but it was impossible with daisy and it feels the same with clarke. it's harder to admit to someone she cares about and who she knows cares about her so she avoids, deflects. ]

Not particularly a fan of all this. I don't like sharing, if you hadn't noticed.

[ she might not have because jyn does actually share things with clarke. ]
realists: (ro » family)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-15 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ UGH CLARKE IS RIGHT AND IT'S DISGUSTING.

jyn has gone soft for a handful of people, letting snippets of her life out and feeling understood in turn. she hasn't been as discerning as she was in her former life, which had backfired the one time because jyn is ignorant to her own future, but aside from that fleeting lapse in judgment trusting her tiny group of friends hasn't been such a terrible experience. ]


I have a weakness for blondes.

[ liar, her physical type is set in stone. clarke hits all her emotional types to a t, however, and jyn knows it. somehow she always find the idealistic, rebellious types who wear grief and guilt like a bespoke jacket, leaders that can't be broken down no matter how hard the universe tries, desperate to find peace even if they think they themselves don't deserve it.

a massive animal stifles any more flippant lies that may cross jyn's lips, barreling past the playing children, fat and bald like an enormous baby, purple-grey skin glistening in the sunlight before it simply vanishes into a house as if it was running home for dinner. ]


A hippopotamus. [ she says it, eyes alight with wonder, like it is a foreign word. it is, frankly, she only recognizes it from her trips to the vr zoo. ] Sanctum has hippopotamus?
realists: (ro » little sister)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-15 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ jyn's so resistant to emotions that even her sleeping brain will fight against being wholly seen and interrupt with all the grace jyn also lacks almost entirely. sanctum would look much better to jyn if it had hippos. the worst part of all the cities she has been to so far has been the utter lack of nature and wildlife, she misses it. clarke knows this about her too. ]

Maybe they have hippopotamus in North America.

[ would that be a selling feature for anyone but jyn? probably not.

surprisingly unwilling to let the moment go, despite the enormous and beautiful interloper, jyn shifts to clarke's side, bumping her hip, same small smile still playing at her lips. it is a smile reserved for very few. ]


Will you introduce me to Madi?
realists: (ro » accepting)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-16 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ clarke is around the same age jyn's own mother was when she was born and seeing her friend with her daughter brings up questions jyn doesn't want to think about, shoving them very deep, deep down and refocusing on the dream in front of her. ]

Have to take every chance you've got before you haven't got any, [ she offers with a shrugs, explaining the reasoning behind the request.

jyn's died in two universes now, she doesn't want to make it a third before she has the chance to meet clarke's daughter. one day she will be her very own person in jyn's eyes but right now she is clarke's daughter and that is good enough. ]


Hopefully the next time we meet will be on a farm in North America.
realists: (ro » asking)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-18 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
Despite not having much of a choice, I don't hate this place.

[ jyn had told clarke on zerzura, that she didn't have a choice but to save zerzura -- it wasn't purely selfless, jyn was on the planet, if it died, she would have died. she didn't care about either world at the time, she had no emotional attachment to earth or zerzura, but now...

maybe she doesn't hate this dirtball after all. it has trees and pygmy marmosets called piglet and someone called whitney houston who jyn thinks might be a religious figure. if they can casually bring down an entire governmental system of oppression it could be pretty chill. ]


Don't tell anyone, but-- [ reputations and all that. ] I wanna have a life, here. Means we gotta clean up this mess. [ she makes a noise like "well!" and spreads her arms expansively. they've got a chance. ]
realists: (ro » piqued)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-19 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
Oh no, if I take your advice I may become an impromptu leader of the Displaced.

[ it's a deflection and a glaringly obvious note that despite her sometimes bullish nature, clarke is very well respected within the ranks. jyn has four and a half friends and she is comfortable with that, keeping everyone else at arm's length is fine with her.

the problem is that clarke happens to be one of those four people. ]


Besides, it is time for you to figure out how to wake up.

[ in the collective dreamworld, cassian's had turned into jyn's and she is still ill prepared to face her own nightmares if that happens again. ]