strove: (they say bacon is the best)
thanks clarke ([personal profile] strove) wrote in [community profile] meadowlarklogs2019-10-07 01:20 pm

[open log] i don't care about the mess you made

WHO: Clarke Griffin, Riku, and Goro Akechi + anyone who wants to do some dreams or other stuff
WHERE: Dreams, New Amsterdam.
WHEN: Month of January IC!
WHAT: Dreams, memory shares, etc. General open log things.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation for Akechi and Clarke (respectively).

[Riku, Clarke, and Akechi couldn't be more different on the surface—but when it comes to dreams, to the control of the mind and the actions they take, the similarities come together. Oddly enough, each of them has some experience over this space. Riku, through being a Dreameater. Clarke, through Josephine taking over her body and through having to fight back against the sociopathic scientist. And Akechi through the metaverse, having to traverse it alone. That's not to say that they have special powers here: but control is something that will come more easily, as will lucidity.

Of course, thematically they're different:]


riku: mistakes of the past, worries of the present

[These days, Riku is more or less at peace with himself. Once, his dreams were mercurial and lacked control. They showed his worry about strength. Power. And at times, Darkness—the Darkness that reigned over his life, that acted as a threat. These days, that Darkness is as much a part of him as anything: trapped in his heart, a constant in motion. A part of who he is.

But there are themes and motifs that reoccur. Friends fading away. The danger of thinking too much, even if the thoughts don't string together. A friend slipping, falling into a wave of Darkness. More recently: images of his home falling apart, of New Amsterdam falling to the same ruin, crashed into by a wave of dangerous Darkness.

And of friends dying. Of not being able to do enough. Of the struggle of having to accept that they will do as they do, even if he can't do nothing. His hands always tied, forced to be idle, passive. Accepting that, too.

There is always a push for logic against even the most irrational of thoughts. Always.]


clarke: guilt, the lives she's taken, a peaceful interlude

[Many of Clarke's dreams take place separate from what would be her mindscape. Her dreams are of green: sprawling trees with a beautiful, forested canopy. A bright sun overhead, though sometimes there are two. But in the horizon, there may or may not be ruin: ruins of a city that managed to come together in the aftermath of an apocalypse, or ruins of a world, covered in dirt and sand, and strange creatures that burrow into the ground and can dig into someone's skin. She doesn't dream of those creatures, not often.

When she can, Clarke dreams of what could be: a life in this area of rich, fertile environment. A time with her daughter, her mother, her friends. Bellamy is there when he can be, but during times of strife, it seems she has a hard time facing him. (This Bellamy is older, with facial hair and a calmer expression. Like he knows to keep what he can inside.)

When there are people present, there is always a pressure. Of being boxed in, of being the one to find the solutions. Clarke always feels as if her answers are the wrong answers, and they show here. But there is no resentment toward the many, many people in her life: angry, making demands. Just an acceptance. Clarke doesn't feel as if they're wrong to ask so much of her. Besides, she put herself in that position to ask to make those decisions.

After all, she is a mother. A leader. But also: a tumor. A cancer. These days, Clarke doesn't let those thoughts creep up, but in dreams, who can say?]


akechi: wasted potential, what could have been

[Akechi doesn't dream of exact moments or of exact places: he dreams of the settings he likes, with drawn out, complicated scenarios where he's called upon to solve a problem. Solve any problem. Because he is someone who came into his power at an age when he was already embittered by the world, embroiled in hatred for everything around him. His mother committed suicide when he was young, and he was forced to be passed from home to home, a blemish upon his family and upon the world. An illegitimate child and a problem. Rather than choosing to overcome these notions, Akechi internalized them, took them to heart.

His dreams reflect this: colored often in blacks and reds, with Akechi moving alone, carrying every purpose that he believes that only he can accomplish. His dreams are a sign of how he deluded himself: believing that his long term plans would become something at some point.

He is extremely intelligent, and his dreams show it: with him trying to make logic out of nothing, out of the world around him. He seems to be at odds with it, caught between a sense of justice (inherently emotional) and a world out of order, one that's inevitably going to be that way no matter what.

If Akechi's gambit had paid off—if he had been aware that he was a part of a game with a gambit in motion—his view of the world would've taken hold. It would've fallen into disarray, granting control to a single deity because people are inherently messed up. At the heart of his dreams, this is a singular, notable truth. It's just one that's at odds with what Akechi really wants: to be praised, loved, and seen as less than a blemish and more that someone who can accomplish things. He just hasn't admitted as much to himself.]


ooc notes

[The general overview here is to give people an idea of what my characters' dreams would contain. This is an open log, and you can request a starter hitting on one of the notes above! I'll also be posting closed requested starters below. I'm also open to memory sharing or characters just catching up, though the former may need to come along organically (as none of my three know it's on the table).

If you'd like to discuss further, hit me up on plurk @ medieval or on discord at alison#8996.]
watcherless: (pic#2503597)

[personal profile] watcherless 2019-10-23 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ she puts some thought towards that, towards how she would feel if someone had walked with her into the mayor's office, and what it would reveal about her. he's acting cool, sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a point in being uneasy about her. ]

I know what kind of favors people ask for in places like this.

[ she gestures to the building around them. ]

And I know that it's not my business if you take it. That what you want to hear?

[ she makes it sound like she doesn't care about appeasing him -- but there's a hint there, the fact that she reaches for the question at all, that suggests an overeagerness to protest her investment in it. no. she does care. it doesn't matter that he's a stranger; faith aches for validation, and it's woven into the fiber of her every interaction. he's questioned her worthiness -- he never needed to. she's always questioning it, herself. ]
impede: (espresso is delicious.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-23 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
[In that, they're no different: desperate for validation, desperate for the kind of praise that would make them feel whole and wanted in the world. Unfortunately, Akechi is unlikely to wear it on his sleeve for her. He questions her presence simply because he should be able to work and live alone. Handle this alone. Plus, there is a level of control in all of this.

He hadn't invited her. He could tell her to go, but that need comes with its own leverage. He has nothing to gain from it.]


I see. It's not about what I want to hear. [Akechi doesn't go on.]

Once we're in there, you'll have to elaborate about your capabilities. There is some experimentation to be had, what with your subconscious running into mind. Though ... I have to admit, I wonder if the figures awaiting us will already know what you can do. Please, give them time to demonstrate whether they can. [If nothing else, they can see what about being Displaced brought them together. That's worthwhile. That's an element of control.

It's what he desperately needs at the moment.]
watcherless: (pic#2503583)

[personal profile] watcherless 2019-10-25 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
Whoa, what?

[ she turns fully to face him then, appalled and even angry. ]

I didn't sign up for experimentation.

[ it's so far outside of her grim expectations that she's ready to bolt, and it shows in the whites of her eyes. ]
impede: (everyone wants a piece of me.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-25 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
... A poor choice of words, then. In my world, the mind and the worlds it creates are a matter of scientific study. How one person interacts with that world is a part of that study. It's not as if you'll be strapped to a table. You're already here.

[Hard to explain how this works when his knowledge of the cognitive world was already in place. Akechi recognizes his mistake.]

My word is meaningless. After all, I'm the type of person called in for jobs like these. But you can take it just the same.
watcherless: (pic#7284884)

[personal profile] watcherless 2019-10-26 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds a lot like the kind of thing you say to a girl to convince her to strap herself to a table.

[ like, he's already acknowledged that, but faith's level alarm DEMANDS REITERATING IT. she could not be less on board for body horror if she tried. she's already lost her slayer powers and isn't really sure if they're at full force back in this dream. and she already turned into a fucking dragon in zerzura. she's not here for any of this. ]
impede: (don't judge the coffee beans.)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-27 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
That isn't the type of science I'm interested in. But knowing the strength of our powers will be useful, as well as what may have led you into my dream. But you can leave if you so choose.

[Akechi won't beg her to stay. Yes, there is much to be learned here in this interaction and where they can take it. But he doesn't interact well with others or play nice enough to be able to convince her.

Plus, he's just not interested.]
watcherless: (pic#2503610)

[personal profile] watcherless 2019-10-27 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she's curious.

and she wants to be brave, if being brave will give her answers. but she doesn't know true north. she doesn't know if it's valid to turn her back on what's ostensibly sketchy bullshit, or if she ought to stick it out, see where it leads. get what feels like answers while she's got 'em.

so faith does what she does best. she turns her back. looking conflicted, she heads for the door.
]
impede: (don't judge me for being hands on!)

[personal profile] impede 2019-10-29 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[So, if this were a science experiment, the experiment would tell Akechi that even his dreamscape interlopers want nothing to do with the mess he gets himself in. It's fair. Anyone with half a survival instinct would do this.

He does nothing to stop her, nothing to stall her.

Why would he ever seek out an ally willingly? Besides, his curiosity is all he has to offer. She has nothing to gain.]