Some of it had to do with what happened after. [They're already here, he might as well pick at a particular scab. It's mostly healed over, now that he knows his love is returned, but it's a piece.]
We shouldn't have had memories of this life together, the timeline was altered, but we got them back somehow. I told Eliot we should be together, and he turned me down.
[After fifty years and a sudden certainty of what mattered to him, it was the kind of backhand he didn't expect. It seemed to all make sense finally. Quentin just wants to be loved. He loves so strongly and all he can hope for is to find someone to feel the same way, to live and die for him like he does for them.]
He was scared I didn't mean it and I'd regret it later. We'd only been friends before that, kind of, but it didn't come out of no where either. And I guess I didn't want to explain all that to Jules. She probably would've meddled. Or been angry at him.
[And honestly maybe she should have, maybe they didn't tell their female best friends because Margo and Julia would've handled it very quickly and they were both licking their respective wounds or plunging into denial about it. ]
I just thought I'd have a chance later, to say everything I needed to, but that's kind of what everyone thinks before they die. That they'll have the time. But we don't have it, not really.
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We shouldn't have had memories of this life together, the timeline was altered, but we got them back somehow. I told Eliot we should be together, and he turned me down.
[After fifty years and a sudden certainty of what mattered to him, it was the kind of backhand he didn't expect. It seemed to all make sense finally. Quentin just wants to be loved. He loves so strongly and all he can hope for is to find someone to feel the same way, to live and die for him like he does for them.]
He was scared I didn't mean it and I'd regret it later. We'd only been friends before that, kind of, but it didn't come out of no where either. And I guess I didn't want to explain all that to Jules. She probably would've meddled. Or been angry at him.
[And honestly maybe she should have, maybe they didn't tell their female best friends because Margo and Julia would've handled it very quickly and they were both licking their respective wounds or plunging into denial about it. ]
I just thought I'd have a chance later, to say everything I needed to, but that's kind of what everyone thinks before they die. That they'll have the time. But we don't have it, not really.