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EVENT #009 (THE OUTSIDE)
WHERE: New Amsterdam
WHEN: The back half of April 2512, starting on April 16, 2512. Newcomers arrive on April 20, 2512.
WHAT: While Judas thrusts New Amsterdam into a simulation, the rest of the world is forced to watch. Meanwhile, it's time for new arrivals.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of genocide, as well as coercion and loss of autonomy.
Just like in New Amsterdam, all 109 megacities around the world prepare for the celebrations ahead. While New Amsterdam has a specific day dedicated to more somber celebrations, the rest of the world largely looks forward to the festivities of Resolution Day itself. For whoever is out visiting various cities, there won't be any sign of trouble when they leave via train or gate. The gate in particular will seem untouched and untampered with, as if there should be nothing amiss.
Unlike with New Amsterdam, preparations for Resolution Day will go off without a hitch. A black cloud will roll in over New Amsterdam around midday on April 16, 2512, but the other cities won't notice right away. While the other people in the world remain clueless, the Displaced will get their first sign of trouble when they try to fast travel back, and the attempt leads to failure. The second will be the inability to get an answer from any points of contact within the city (sans one, once he's booted out of the simulation). There should be other red flags, but the United Nations doesn't say anything. At first.
Twenty four hours later, the United Nations General Assembly President Dalir Niazi delivers a recorded statement to the other 108 megacities:
"Once again, New Amsterdam has been embroiled in a tragedy. The black cloud overhead, combined with the limited contact from within the city limits, has led us to believe that this is a very dangerous attack by the artificial intelligence Judas. Please bear in mind that we do not mention Judas' presence lightly. Once known as the TEMPLAR program, Judas was believed to be purged from all systems at the end of the Xelkoven War on April 26, 2101. Unfortunately, these tactics and methods clearly identify Judas as the current threat, and we believe its infiltration began on November 11, 2511. Now, it's taken the city hostage, and we can only hope that its people are being kept alive.
At this time, we have attempted to deploy troops to the city itself, but circumstances have not permitted them to follow through with our commands.
We will keep you updated.
Keep this in mind: the AI threat is just one. We will eradicate Judas now that there are no longer any systems to support its efforts."
This is the last time that the UN will mention attempting to deploy troops. Anyone who gets closer to the city will see that the soldiers were stopped, and many of them will have died on the spot, or been rendered unconscious and potentially brain damaged. Getting too close to the city has cost hundreds of UNA soldiers their lives.
Around the world, reparations for Resolution Day will come to a halt. The day will be postponed until some point in the future. All eyes are on New Amsterdam as a result.
Meanwhile, future reports from Niazi will be pleading in nature, while attempting to keep some semblance of calm. So far, Judas has not attacked other cities, and there is no risk of that, thanks to the strong fortifications set up during the EMP during November 2511. But the longer the UN goes without an answer to this problem, the less people will feel reassured.
After all, this is a world that has been raised to fear artificial intelligence. For everyone, they were a boogeyman in the closet, waiting to pop out. Overcoming them was a sign of humanity's diligence. Now, it seems as if they were never truly gone. More than anything, society's largest anxiety around AI is the belief that they can replicate more and more, entering all of the world's systems to take them over. This is a world that is forward thinking in all that it does, but limited in its imagination when it comes to anything that could be imagined as being like artificial intelligence. It's this fear that has limited human progression a great deal.
With the United Nations so tight-lipped—or lying, depending on your interpretation—the world is in need of help. It's easy to imagine a scenario where Judas is able to expand his hold from New Amsterdam to the rest of the world, especially as the simulation continues to assault the systems there. How difficult would it be for Judas to expand his reach? Are people right to be afraid of what he could accomplish?
Never mentioned is a single, underlying fact: that Judas is (assumed) to be the last of his kind, and that rest of his kind were completely eradicated. If anything, the world's understanding of artificial intelligence is not that it's viewed as a group or a people, but that they're an element that needs to be completely purged. It's both prejudice and a well-ingrained understanding. After all, the AI attempted to eradicate humanity; there is no reason to believe the AI had their own reasons for wanting to live. And most of humanity is far removed from the memories and somber thoughts from the 21st century, of those who lamented the loss of their androids and coworkers.
In their place, there is only fear.
Fear motivates. But more than that should motivate, such as the people trapped within New Amsterdam. They need help, too, and in time, the media puts out a call for aid. For plans. For any sort of guidance that can save people. The UN doesn't back these calls for help, but they don't explicitly stop them, either. They can't appear weak, but they are just as lost as everyone else.
> OPPORTUNITIES
Most will be trapped inside of the simulation—but not all. The few lucky ones who managed to skip out on this unwanted vacation in trauma town will have freedom of movement, as well as knowledge of what's happening. For newcomers, some of the oldbies will be sure to fill them in on what's happening. If not them, then El's is still ready and waiting for a message about this, though ze'll likely have some plans in motion before then.
Beyond the initial stages, there's a lot to do, and a lot to accomplish. The Displaced know what happened, and know why Judas is both alive and free. There is an angle here, a direction with propaganda that can undermine the UN's hold on the world. For the first time in centuries, the UN has failed to keep up a pristine, protective image. They've failed to maintain control. Letting the world know what happened is an option.
But things must be done carefully. The world is in shambles and afraid—so afraid that, before long, some begin to call for the complete loss of New Amsterdam. Losing 40 million lives doesn't compare to the loss of the world as a whole. This will be a minority opinion, but the few who believe in it will be rather loud about it. This, too, is rooted in fear.
Of course, there is one more consideration: what is Judas' goal? Beyond revenge, that is. Does he have a goal? How is he accomplishing this so successfully?
> FIXING ENTRY
The Displaced traveled to all these gates, got the travel situation opened up, and for what? For the path to their home base to end up inaccessible? There are a lot of questions that can be raised about this. Most importantly: how? Attempts to travel back will be met with a block: their chest will stop glowing, as if there is nowhere to go when someone attempts to return to New Amsterdam.
The shutdown of this system will be unusual in nature and will require some examination. The problem is the risk of returning to the city itself, and being sucked into the simulation. Anyone outside will have good reason to think this will happen, so they may want to avoid it.
There are more questions to be had: who has the knowledge to stop this? Time to consider what information is available. Too bad most of that information is trapped inside of the simulation, unable to partake in the discussion.
> COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
The simulation guarantees a breakdown in communication. All messages into New Amsterdam lead to dead ends. Texts and E-Mails cannot be accessed by the people caught within the simulation, and there won't be any sign of what's happened to them from the outside world.
There are ways both in and outside of the simulation to reconnect to the people trapped inside, but Judas will be opposed to any calls going out (so to speak) for help. The first stage of problem-solving should likely be focused on this and the gate's reopening—but both come with risks, especially if someone is thinking of all the risks inherent in Judas' reach around the world.
> REBEL YELL (MORNINGSTAR)
Between the United Nations' lies and the Displaced asking El to be more active in zeir assault on the UN, Morningstar will be springing into action as a result of this attack on New Amsterdam. Following the Displaced's infiltration of the United Nations Army Headquarters, recordings were released to Morningstar agents to show them that the UNA soldiers are not infallible. Members of Morningstar all around the world got a taste of what was possible.
Now that they know about Judas, and about the UN outright lying about their maintenance of him, they're ready to act.
How they act, however, is dependent upon other factors. What plans are in motion to stop Judas? How can they support those plans? Morningstar is eager to show that they are a formidable force, and some will be blinded by their hope to leave a lasting blow on the UN. However, most will want to stop Judas and save the people trapped inside of the simulation.
> THE CASSIUS GAMBIT
Once, Cassius claimed that he hoped to someday see his friend again. Once. Now his friend utilizes a backdoor that Cassius himself created months ago to attack the citizens of New Amsterdam, and there stands a risk of further harm if Judas is allowed to expand his reach from New Amsterdam itself. The UN isn't lying when it says that the world is currently not in any danger of being attacked by Judas, and that there are protections in place to prevent him from extending his reach. But that doesn't mean that can't change—especially since there are other AI in the mix.
El can be safely assumed to be on the side of the angels, but what about Cassius? Where does he stand? How involved is he?
He will be reaching out to the Displaced. The problem is: will a conversation even take place in the first place?
> WHERE IS JUDAS?
Beyond Judas' goals, there is one other question: where is he and how is he accomplishing this? Mere months ago, Judas was an isolated artificial intelligence locked away on a nigh unreachable quantum server in the United Nations Army Headquarters. Now, he has begun to take his revenge on humanity—or so it seems.
Back in the day, Judas was a rather talkative AI. He liked to declare his purposes, and gauge response. Although the United Nations leaders are very certain that this is Judas, various reports indicate that this is an unusual turn in behavior on Judas' part. Why hasn't he declared his purpose? What is his overall tactical goal here?
And is there a way to reach him and get him to talk as he once loved to do in the past? Is there a way to reason with him, to get him to end this madness?
On April 20th, 2512, four days after New Amsterdam shut down with everyone inside trapped in a state of suspended animation (and Judas' simulation), El sends out a message to those few who are on the outside and able to receive zeir messages.
I know there's not many of you who'll even be able to see this, but I had a feeling this might happen. There's a new batch of you who've been "processed," except they're not in New Amsterdam. Guess whoever's behind the drop offs couldn't get in there either, so they decided to leave your new friends in New Tokyo. They should be waiting for you in an abandoned warehouse, meaning you'll probably need to wake them up. Sort of a New Beijing situation, for those of you who were around for that. At least travel is easier for all of you now than it was before, right? Once you get into the city, I'll send you the coordinates.
For those who do use the gates to travel to get into New Tokyo, they'll get a GPS ping from El as soon as they arrive. Thankfully, the warehouse where the new arrivals have been dumped is a short train ride from the Gate's location. Once they reach the warehouse, they will have suspiciously little trouble getting inside.
The warehouse itself is completely vacant, emptied out of whatever might have once been stored there. There's only a set of seven gurneys sitting in the middle of the large, empty space -- and laying on each one is a new Displaced. All of them are hooked up to IVs which are keeping them sedated.
Once the IVs are pulled out, awareness will come to each of the new arrivals in blurred snatches. Chaos and uncertainty, maybe even an ache in their arm from an IV hastily removed. There will only be faint memories of how they got here: rolled up a ramp into the dank, expansive space. Any sign of stirring would be met with a hushed whisper and a jolt of fatigue, putting them back under.
Whether they like it or not, these new arrivals will have to listen to every order, every command that's given. More than that, they'll be almost entirely reliant on those who've come to their rescue.
◉ Though entirely capable of independent action and thought, new characters will find themselves completely, unquestioningly compliant to any verbal statement which could be taken as a command or request.
◉ Morningstar in New Tokyo won't be equipped to take in these new arrivals. The Displaced will need to exercise discretion to get them from this location to wherever they've chosen to stay to hunker down until they get their IDs made. (To be clear, it is possible to take them out of New Tokyo and to a different city other than New Amsterdam if that's what they decide on!) Going out before their IDs are set up will put them at risk of arrest, however.
◉ All of the new arrivals will have their IDs set up within 36 hours, but there won't be any fancy backstories or certifications. El will supply each of them with a basic, positive work history, with an appropriate number of apartments for their age to get them started. (Or, if you want, Cassius can be responsible for making their ID, if you want some "friendly" trolling! Just let us know in the thread below.) Since none of the new arrivals will have access to a Morningstar safehouse to be added to the network, they won't be able to access the network until that 36 hour period is done.
◉ All new arrivals will be given a stipend and some new clothes to get them through at least a few days, though they may very well have to lean on those who came to collect them for financial support as well. All of their IDs will be set up so that they're native to New Tokyo, and any job prospects will clearly have to wait until later.
Regardless of where the new arrivals end up, New Tokyo will be their first exposure to this new and unfamiliar world. As an island megacity, New Tokyo dips hundreds of feet underwater and scales upward. Like all the megacities around the world, there is a wall around the city that wraps around the exterior at both its highest and lower levels.
Unlike many megacities around the world, New Tokyo pays the most homage to the city that influenced its creation. Largely built by Japanese entrepreneurs hundreds of years ago, it was an ambitious structure that eventually became known as the first completely man-made city, and they remade a lot of the same buildings and structures to pay homage. These businesses are the heart of New Tokyo, especially as it's expanded in order to contain about 45 million people. Although New Tokyo is on the ocean, it's made to withstand most dangerous conditions.
Everything in the city is compact, and while that's the case for almost all of the cities in this world, it's felt most keenly in New Tokyo. The buildings seem to scrape up against each other, even as they reach up to impossible heights. Train lines seem to criss cross through every inch of this city, making it extremely easy to get from place to place, even with its vertical layout. It just also means that the city can feel extremely claustrophobic, packed with steel structures and masses of people.
For all that it's an urban jungle, however, that isn't to say that the city is all uniform and visually uninteresting. New Tokyo is packed full of bright lights, vibrant colors, and advertisements that blare out at you from almost every corner. The new arrivals won't be able to see or process most of this until their IDs are set up and they have access to the visuals made possible by AR, however, so there will be a sense that the people around them are perceiving and reacting to things they simply can't see for their first day or so.
The Scramble Crossing that's so unique to the original Tokyo stands recreated here, and every virtual screen is focused on news of New Amsterdam and the tragedy that's once again taken over the city. With New Amsterdam seemingly inaccessible and the entire population completely silent, some are beginning to fear the worst.
While daily life in New Tokyo seems to be business as usual, with the city having recovered from the harsh blizzard that hit them last October, it won't take long for the new arrivals to realize that they're part of something much more involved. There are other people like them who are in a great deal of danger now, trapped in a simulation by a crazed AI. It will be up to them to decide if they want to lay low and get their bearings in this unexpected situation, or if they want to dive right into the action and try to help with the current mess that the Displaced are stuck in.
Please refer to the OOC EVENT POST for this event for all OOC info, including suggestions for directions on how to engage with the event, as well as the questions thread for the moderators. Please take all planning to this post, even plans that evolve during the event itself. We don't want plans on Discord or Plurk because not everyone is on these platforms, but signal boosting plans on either is perfectly fine! We will not be taking questions on the log posts to streamline the process.
Very little has been adjusted on this side of things from the original planning post with the exception of there being more information about Judas!
Another thing we're adapting after some thought is plot phases!
PHASE ONE
This will take place from May 2, 2020 to May 18, 2020, when submissions will close.
We would like you to submit a plan of how to approach the situation outside of the simulation. Please link to your plan on the OOC Planning Post so that planning can take place there (as this would be easiest!), and then vote plus say what your character is doing under the plan submission thread.
We'll freeze all responses at midnight PST on May 18, 2020. The beginning of Phase Two will start the next day, with a prose response added to the Phase Two prompt.
PHASE TWO
This will take place from May 19, 2020 to May 30, 2020, when submissions will close.
We would like you to submit a plan for how to approach the simulation after the results of Phase One. As a note, there is a high likelihood that Phase Two will involve teamwork from people inside of the simulation, and outside of it. This will depend upon character ation.
We'll freeze all responses at midnight PST on May 30, 2020. The final aftermath will be posted one week later on June 6, 2020.
To be clear: the simulation will not end without action from the characters inside or outside of the simulation. The moderators do not have an exit strategy developed and want to give players an opportunity to think big, while having to deal with the constant threat of an AI like Judas (who, in many senses, is the simulation).
As a reminder, there is one power level up available for this event. This will be granted for a thread of at least 5 action/log comments of your character utilizing their power to impact the situation outside of the simulation. They will need to reach the 5 comments required by July 1 to be eligible. Submission will be handled on the wrap up post.
ARRIVAL LOG EDITS (5/9/2020)
Welcome to Meadowlark, newbies! You're now free to post to the network and log comms. To reiterate, for the first 36 hours that your character is in-game, they will have no neural IDs set up and therefore no access to most basic functions within the world, including the network! They'll likely need to rely on the veteran Displaced until El (or Cassius) get them processed. They won't have access to the Morningstar network until they get processed because of the unique circumstances, but that's part of why El and Cassius will be keen to get them set up quickly.
Your characters are arriving smack-dab in the middle of an event! If you need any more details about what's going on before you jump on in, please feel free to take a look at the plotting post. You're also welcome to ask us questions below! For additional plotting, check out our CR meme.
While the newbies will be waking up and starting off in New Tokyo, they will have the ability to travel to other cities in the world if the Displaced who come to collect them clue them in to the special fast-travel mechanic they've unlocked, otherwise known as the Gates system. You can see some more details about cities outside of New Amsterdam here! If they aren't clued in on time, they can also unlock knowledge of this system via a dream after they first activate their empathy bond with another Displaced, but the knowledge may be confusing and they'll have to ask questions.
Please also check out the May calendar for other important dates/information throughout the rest of the month.
As a reminder, AC will be halved this month due to the state of the world right now. New players will only need to provide at least five comments across two-four (2-4) threads, while older players will only need to provide ten comments across two-four (2-4) threads. Players with strikes will need to provide 20 comments across four-five (4-5) threads. Please let us know if you have any questions about this!
Above all else, enjoy yourselves!
Ian Fowler | OC | Arrival
clear your mind and do your best to try and wash the palette clean - (a variety of choices, follow your heart)
we belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
wakey wakey she'll buy you eggs and ...no bacon
his great honey ham of a hand practically dwarves her shoulder as he tries to hastily haul himself to his feet. jyn lets him sit up, but her hands press to his chest if he tries to go any further. ]
They don't. You're safe.
[ jyn isn't one to offer platitudes, the surety in her voice isn't meant to comfort, it is a fact. she doesn't know about most of the others, but she can personally protect him just fine. he is safe because she is the one what woke him up. ]
he will accept fakebacon thank u
Though he probably could if you compare their raw height and weight disparities, he doesn't try to push against the hand on his chest. Evidently minor corrections are enough to stay him, and instead he opts to press the heel of his hand into his eyes. Trying to clear them, trying to force some kind of sobriety into his mind. ]
Not possible.
[ He croaks, a tired denial. They're on two different pages about who they are, and the sedatives are the only thing keeping him from going into some kind of adrenaline-guided panic. A little less heavy on the dosage and he'd be doing his damnedest to drag her out by the hand. ]
I've seen 'em... find a fucking... bus in the woods, this is too big, they're gonna... rip the whole thing out of the ground.
[ He drags his hands away, vision swimming until he can find her again to shoot her an earnest appeal. ]
We ca- [ A dry-throated rasp, not a stutter. He has to swallow to let his voice come back through again. ] We can't stay here.
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[ although that stumbled statement is indicative enough of the kind of world he is from. imagine being tracked by metal? this whole planet would be devoured whole in no time at all. it's going to be a hell of a shock when he steps outside to see an island entirely made of metal.
she makes a note to warn him. ]
You're not home. You're in a different universe entirely. I'll prove it, if you let me.
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Unsympathetically compacted with entire city blocks.
He almost can't wrap his head around the fact that something this big, this obvious, still exists unscathed.
Another bonus point for that sedative right now - his willingness to step back and give her a few seconds before he reacts. It's preceded by a reluctant pause, the parting of his lips, and then ultimately a slow, careful nod.
Wordless permission. Go ahead.
(This is insane. This can't be real. What kind of drug is this?) ]
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it's different now and she doesn't feel like sharing.
her other hand hovers over the crook of his elbow and the blue light flares in her chest. there is the feeling of the slip of warm water against skin and when her hand draws back and the light in her chest fades, the tiny injury left behind from his iv is gone, healed right over. ]
There. One thing fixed.
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Good thing, too, otherwise he might've missed the more important part.
A soft blue glow. A soothing warmth. The soreness, bruising, subtle ache from an IV disappears. Leaves him a little more able to focus, and he lifts his arm a little to bring it nearer to his eyes.
He brushes a thumb along it, momentarily stunned.
They might've had aliens where he's from, but they didn't have that.
Did the trick, though - getting abducted stops being at the forefront of his mind. He's only got eyes for her now, and despite his surprise his tone still comes out mostly steady, even, curious. ]
How the hell'd you do that?
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empathy bond broaching
But he turns up later at the warehouse. Instead of beelining for the present Displaced, he observes his surroundings. Takes note of what business may have been here before. Tries to pick up a paper trail in a world without paper, at least until a better time.
Somewhere in there he does clarify the following: that he's a detective, and that his name is Goro Akechi. He's remarkably rough around the edges when he cuts loose, but he won't be completely rude.
It's when he's in the midst of grabbing photographic evidence via his implant that he sees Ian draw closer, and hears the—request? Subject matter? Whichever better characterizes it. Akechi wears gloves, and his fingers quickly curl into tight fists at his sides.]
Is this a proving grounds of sorts? Wishing to see how it works? [It's tempting to see if he can already cause a detour in thought, but he holds off.
At first, anyway.]
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[ He agrees mildly. He hasn't thrust his hand forth, he doesn't seem pushy or particularly impatient. Jyn made a hell of a first impression by covering her hand completely with her sleeve before touching him, and it set the tone for how he's imagining most people feel about this touch-thing.
It isn't a leap to assume most people are selfish with their privacy. They jealously guard things that might expose them to the world, that's just how people work - regardless of their history. Even well-adjusted people can be closed off. ]
We- didn't exactly have anything like it where I'm from. It's kind of crazy, it's like something in a comic book.
[ And he's curious as hell. Can you blame him? ]
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[Everyone he's met has had something to help them adapt. Maybe it's a good sign that he's curious and not panicking. Or perhaps it hasn't sunk in?]
I do suppose that the empathy is easier to prove. At least compared to other potential situations that could arise.
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I guess that depends on what you'd consider unusual.
[ Which, considering they're in the distant future in a recovered version of Earth that has a neural mesh implant and people from alternate dimensions, that could be a pretty big window, but... ]
We have aliens, just not super powers.
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Not that we should get caught up in semantics. Does that mean they came in peace?
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There's only so much I can take
His messages seem to go nowhere and it's been a few days since he's gotten through to his Alpha, even if he's not a werewolf any longer. Not in any ways that matter. For now though he's having to work to make his own way without letting the worries get the better of him, even as the reports from New Amsterdam only leave him with a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach.
He's heard from others that there are new arrivals, others like he was only a few weeks ago, and he's wondering if that's promising with all lost with that wall... or the ones behind this starting over in a new city?
Trying to find some answers, looking to see what's behind everything in this place, taking that initiative that, well, he's never really been known for but he needs to try and do something. Even if he's not sure what.
Finding his way to where the newcomers are, hoping to find answers there. Answers or help.
What he finds has him staring at this guy that's been helping others, someone that had caught Isaac's attention, but then he asked about that bond and Isaac wonders if he looks as pale as he feels in that moment.]
Uhmmm, I mean... [Yep, that's a solid answer.] I haven't actually tried it. I guess? I just, I mean, you probably won't like it.
[Not with Isaac anyway. He knows the emotions that are on the top and he can't even imagine what all might come through that connection.]
You really want to do that?
love is a battlefield man
Feeling what other people feel, that's crazy. It's absolutely insane, a wild notion, and- ]
Hell yeah I do.
[ Despite the verbiage, the strength of the words themselves, his tone is a little muted. Reserved and collected, with probably more of an upbeat attitude than most of the newly Displaced are likely to have.
(This place is like an improvement times a hundred over where he just came from).
He holds a hand out, wiggles his fingers. ]
I'm not gonna judge you for anything going on up there. Pinky promise.
Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say
Now if only he could avoid a connection in his sleep and he wouldn't have to worry about ending up with someone seeing the horrible things he's been through. Maybe others have been through worse but he doesn't want those looks that could come from it.
This though is just the empathy contact, where he'll see... Right, that.]
How can you be sure of that? I mean, you don't know how bad it can be. Besides...
[He looks at the guy's hand, nearly reaching out before hesitating.]
No one should have to feel this way. It's kind of... messed up.
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Until then, though...
Curiosity's always been one of his biggest motivators. ]
I've felt a lot of bad. I'm not all that convinced I couldn't handle it.
[ When aliens touch down and destroy your planet you sort of go through the five stages of grief, but all five stages are oh fucking fuck. ]
What's got you rattled?
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There's a huge difference though in his mind though about talking about it and others seeing the panic and the fear and the pain he's been through. The fears that cause him still to have panic attacks in small spaces.
Looking away, Isaac shrugs as if it's nothing. Like nothing at all. Even if it's horrific still to him.]
I was abused? For a lot of years. Like locked in a freezer.
[He says it softly, almost dismissively. Sure. It's nothing. No big deal.]
It kind of fucked up my head.
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empathy bond
and then there's this guy, with the beard and the floppy hair and the easy attitude, who seems content to keep jack company in his silent trekking at the back of the caravan. the conversation's mild, jack keeping his answers relatively short and guarded, eyes on the back of castiel's shoulders now and again, but he smiles at jokes, eyes following anything the man points out, nodding as he listens to commentary and ponders questions aloud.
and then the man brings up the empathy bond, and that's much less comfortable territory, the color somewhat draining from jack's face. his emotions are a loud, choatic mess, swinging one way and the other, most of them thing he's not very proud of. ]
I don't think that's a good idea.
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His eyebrows go up a little at the immediate answer, and Ian dials himself back to tread carefully. Navigate politely, and not press on any bruises. ]
Might help, if you take some of what I'm feeling.
[ Just throwing it out there. If there's a sea of chaos and fear, Ian's a grounding presence that tends to outlast the storm.
But, more gently: ]
You got something on your mind?
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Yeah. A few things.
[ it's tempting, to let the dam break, or let himself take some refuge in someone else's emotional stability, but it doesn't feel right. he did this, he caused this, and he should live with the consequences himself. ]
I think it's something I need to carry.
[ jack swallows, blinking down at the sidewalk in front of him again. 'help' sounds like dulling something jack's not sure he should. it hurts, yeah, it hurts like nothing jack's ever known before, but what he did... this isn't something he feels like he deserves an escape from. ]
I'll be okay.
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He doesn't have as much to offer Jack as he would one of his kids. It's frustrating, not to be able to fix something.
He broaches gently. ]
You know... sometimes we convince ourselves we need to carry what we're feeling alone. Maybe because we don't think other people will understand, or maybe because we think it's our cross to bear.
[ He can't read minds, he can't pin down which of the two things it might be. They're both worth mentioning.
He speaks with an empathetic ease, a calm and straightforward approach. One of his specialties - getting someone else to open up.
(Without ever returning the sentiment.) ]
Neither one of those reasons will pan out well in the end, in my experience. When you can, I think you should talk to someone. Doesn't have to be me, but it can be. Don't let yourself become isolated on top of it all.
no subject
I don't think there'll be a lot of people in similar situations.
[ hello i'm the antichrist and i killed both chances i had at a mother because my existence is dangerous always. except, apparently, for here, where he's all but helpless, to add insult to injury. not that jack's too keen on being all-powerful again so soon. the break is nice, if it does nothing more than let him safely breathe for a while.
as far as 'isolated' goes, it's weird to wrap his head around. it's only ever been him and sam, dean and cas. if he was going to talk to anyone about anything, it'd be one of them. but this? he could talk to cas, sure, but there's more important things going on than jack kline's feelings at the moment, and cas is busy. so, that leaves him this guy. after considering him across his shoulder for a moment, jack lets out a soft exhale, and holds out his bare hand for ian to make empathy contact with. ]
You probably won't like what you find.
[ the inside of jack's head isn't a fun place to be right now. it's more an exercise of pushing through the guilt and pain and sorrow that's weighing all of his limbs down, making his chest feel tight and heavy. ]
(no subject)
on the empathy bandwagon
But the question, yes. It gets... ]
That's awfully forward, don't you think?
no subject
[ Ian concedes easy enough; forward as it may have been, he does seem to have the respect to gracefully retreat with no further pushing. It's followed by an easy, semi-apologetic smile. ]
And maybe your personality type. I imagine there are a few who'd find it vulnerable, but there are probably an equal number who might be just... curious. Interested in swapping to see what it's like. Like-
[ You know. A vague gesture to himself. ]
Can't really know without asking. Worst that could happen is getting a no.
[ Doesn't seem like too big of a social faux pas to him, but. People come in all shapes and sizes and varying comfort levels with sharing in any contest.
As a show of good faith, he slips his hands into his pockets. You know, no touch. ]
no subject
[ Trevor wouldn't know a social faux pas until it punched him in the face, and then he'd probably act just as clueless about what he did wrong. But as Ian tucks his hands away, Trevor stretches one out. ]
Not a no, just a curiosity in return. I'm Trevor, by the way.