july catchall

[deadthenred]

WHO: Eugenides, Bucky, Lottie + Various
WHERE: dreamscapes, perhaps others
WHEN: throughout IC June / OOC July
WHAT: Closed starters, PM me or hmu lightfellows to plot something!
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Violence, mental coercion, Nazis, the usual.

Comments

[sestra]

[ she finishes chewing, eyebrows crinkling thoughtfully. ]

Not what? Living in tube?

[ she isn't particularly bothered by whatever actions were implied from the dream, so she's not connecting it on that front. ]

Not a tool?

[deadthenred]

That word can mean a couple different things.

[ Tool. And he's not sure if he can say he's escaped that designation. He doesn't live in a tube anymore, though. That's nice. ]

What I did in there wasn't living.

[sestra]

Then what are you calling it?

[ her tone is simply curious. bucky offered to explain, so she is willing to listen. people don't usually just tell her things. ]

[deadthenred]

[ And Bucky doesn't usually tell this story. Even when he was on trial for all of it, his lawyer didn't think it was a good idea to testify. ]

I didn't know who I was, then. [ He doesn't say: it wasn't me, the way he used to. ] I had an accident, near the end of the war. It made it hard to remember.

[sestra]

[ this gets a frown out of her. isn't she still trying to figure out who she is, after years of indoctrination? ]

Amnesia? Brainwash? [ a beat. ] There are many wars. Which causes your accident?

[deadthenred]

[ He leaves the first question alone, for a minute. He'll get back to that one later. ]

The one with the Nazis.

[ She was from Ukraine, right? They probably remember it better than the Americans. ]

[sestra]

[ there's a pause. ]

You are looking very good for old man.

[ she knows all the horror stories, both about the nazis and the soviets that followed. how parts of ukraine even welcomed the nazis at first because the soviets had already been brutalizing them. beginning to end, ukraine was fucked from all sides. ]

[deadthenred]

Maybe not as old as you're thinkin'. [ He's not sure why he says that. It doesn't matter. ]

But yeah, I get that a lot.

[sestra]

So you are not very old man, with very forgetful past.

Why do you tell me this? [ she likes that he has, simply because it means she is a person who can be talked to. but she still doesn't get... why. ]

[deadthenred]

[ Why, Bucky? He did go through a period where he'd tell anyone what he'd done, like a confession without a priest. Is that what he's doing, here? ]

I wanted you to understand, what you saw in the dream. I would've hurt you— probably. [ It didn't get that far, did it? ]

But I won't now. [ Not like that, anyway. ]

[sestra]

Lots of people have hurt me. [ she points her taco at him, sounding very casual. ] My sister stabbed me once.

[ more like impaled but semantics. ]

Why is now different for you? Because of your memory?

[deadthenred]

That doesn't make it okay.

[ She knows that, right? ]

And yeah. I— a friend gave me my memories back. Made me remember who I am.

[ The good and the bad. And there was a lot of bad, but some good too. ]

They did a lot of stuff with me. To me. To take advantage of what I didn't know.

[sestra]

[ hmmm, but really, what is okay and not okay??? ] It was self defense. [ a beat. ] For her.

[ so technically THAT part was probably ok. ]

Tomas did this to me also, but was not memory problem. I do not care what you did. [ he said he would have hurt her, so the implication that he's hurt others is there. she just... doesn't care about what he might have done. ] And you remember now, so problem is over, yes?