meadowlarklogs | What we all dread most is a maze with no centre [ open ]

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What we all dread most is a maze with no centre [ open ]

WHO: Glimmer, open
WHERE: In the dreamscape
WHEN: The last couple of evenings, mostly.
WHAT: Glimmer dreams of home. And of horrors she thought she had left behind.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Emotional and mental trauma, kidnapping

1. Sweet dreams

Some of Glimmer's dreams are pleasant. Or at the least, they're bittersweet on some level. You find yourself in softly lit corridors lined with ornate doors and finely crafted murals. One might even call it a palace. If you follow them, eventually those visiting Glimmer's dreamscape find themselves in some sort of council chamber or meeting room. A great round table dominates the space and around it, evenly spaced, are ornately wrought chairs. Only of them if occupied.

Glimmer sits there, stooped over a map of Etheria, communicator laid out next to her as she frets and murmurs to herself. She mumbles about plans, about routes of attack and defense. When she hears a footstep, she looks up and blinks, seeming surprised by the presence of another in this space.

"Hey..." She says. "Maybe you can help me out with this." She gestures for whoever it is to come sit next to her.

"I'm trying to figure out the best angle of attack on the Horde and Adora and Bow aren't here. Not that they're going to listen to me anyway..."

2. The only way out is through

At other times, the dreams are darker. Much darker. In these dreams, Glimmer is easy to come across. She's running and running through endless identical corridors that all seem to be the same, each intersection and curve and doorway the same as the last. During these times, Glimmer is wide-eyed and scared. Cold sweat beads on her brow and her breath hamemrs in her chest. She is frantic, desperate to find someplace to hide or someplace to run.

"We can't say here," she hisses to whoever she meets. "Horde Prime can see us." Horde Prime sees all. At times it had been easy to believe that, with the way his clones constantly hovered at her shoulder, with her only space being a small, single bedroom cut off from the rest of the ship. She grabs at whoever has joined her and tugs them up against one wall, eyes wide as she listens for approaching footsteps.

"I can't get out," she half-whispers. "I've been going around and around for hours and I can't find the way out. I don't even know if there is a way out! He's going to find us!"

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[ Adora isn't having much better luck, the identical hallways and unceasing light eventually making her eyes burn and itch. Every way she looks things are the same, and soon enough, she's not even sure if she managed to make an actual advance or just went in a big circle.

So running into Glimmer takes her by surprise, and Adora very nearly flips her friends over her shoulder as she's grabbed, before realization sets in. ]

--Glimmer?! What-- Where-- What's going on? How did we get here? Are you okay?!

Edited 2020-07-11 04:19 (UTC)

[ Glimmer whispers urgently as she crouches against the wall, her eyes flitting back and forth, as if she expects Prime's clones to pour forth at any moment. When Adora speaks to her, she stiffens. Her eyes go wide as she realizes who it is that's with her now and she shakes her head. ]

Adora you can't be here--he wants to use you--he wants to get at the Heart of Etheria--!

Glimmer, I don't understand.

[ Gathering her friend in her arms, Adora does her best to put herself pre-emptively between the princess and whatever might come running at them or sneaking up. ]

Is it...Is it Horde Prime?

Yes.

[ Glimmer frantically looks up and down the corridor again despite the protective embrace from Adora. She feels lost, her head swirling as she tries to ground herself. Of course, grounding yourself in a nightmare is always easier said than done. ]

How did you get here?

I don't know. I don't remember coming here?

[ But if Glimmer's here, then it must mean she came to save her, right? That must have been why she was walking the halls. ]

It's okay. I promise it's gonna be okay. I'll get us out of this. Just calm down, and tell me what you know about this place.

It's--It's Horde Prime's ship.

[ Glimmer whispers, her voice soft and quiet. She's trying not to let it carry. If they're heard, who knows what will happen? ]

Everything looks the same. I think it's designed that way on purpose.

[ Horde Prime's ship. Exactly the worst place for them to be then. ]

Then we need to find some sort of control room. There should be a map, right? Have you seen anything like that around?

There is no map!

[ Glimmer tries to fight down the rising panic in her chest and in her voice but it's not working. ]

It's just him and his clones! They don't need a map!

[ The person Glimmer had turned to speak to suddenly disappears, but then there's a familiar chuckle coming from up near the roof, and Catra lounges up there, one leg crossed over the other. The picture of relaxation.

Something is wrong about her, though. She doesn't look like Glimmer remembers her, either in New Amsterdam or on Horde Prime's ship. She looks-- younger. Like she did over a year ago, before that whole mess with the Portal. Her hair is still huge and fluffy, and she wears her old uniform. ]

Wow. This place really is as pink and sparkly on the inside as it looks.

[ Glimmer blinks up at Catra. There's a moment of mental disconnect. This... isn't Catra as she is. Or Catra as she remembers her from Prime's ship. This is Catra as she was. At least, to Glimmer, this is the past. ]

It's not that pink or sparkly. Just because you have no earth tones in the Horde...

[ She glares, wonders if she could call for guards--it's her dream, after all. But the palace seems empty, devoid of the usual hustle and bustle. ]

[ Catra drops down, still grinning like she owns the place. ]

Uh huh. I bet your bedroom is decorated in like, hearts and clouds.

[ Glimmer scowls at Catra. ]

It is not! What are you doing here, anyway?

[ Catra chuckles. ]

First time, Princess? You didn't know?

Our dreams connect here. They're usually... pretty revealing. Stuff you care about. Stuff you're scared of. Though... I already know all of that.

You're quick to tell me I don't know anything about you. Why should I think you know anything about me?

[ And Glimmer thinks she has an advantage on Catra in that department. She's had several conversations this Catra hasn't. ]

...So I get to talk to you here even if you're running away from me in real life? That's kind of funny.

Okay. Stop me if I get any of this wrong. You care about your friends. You care about doing the right thing. About justice, and equality, and fairness. You're scared of not being able to help people, of failing the people closest to you. Of being a burden.

Am I close? Why should I "know anything about you?"

... Because you're an open book, duh. [ Unlike Catra, who is so complicated and hard to know and not like other girls, didn't you know? ]

And because I have way more experience traversing dreamland than you do, Princess. Tell me. Have you ever been able to control your dreams?

[ Catra never could. Not until she came here, and people started invading her dreams every month. She hated it. It's taken her some time to learn how to dream lucidly enough to kick people out or control the direction of the dream, and she still can't do it that well. She's happily betting Glimmer is in the same boat. That all it will take is the right combination of words to set off Glimmer's unconscious mind into a nightmare. ]

Edited 2020-07-16 15:05 (UTC)

[ Glimmer grits her teeth. It hits closer to home than she'd like but she's not going to let Catra get to her. She's not. She can feel the swirl of unhappy anxiety and worry starts to build in her chest. She worries about her friends, she worries about Etheria, about Bright Moon, about being trapped in space, watching while her home is destroyed in the name of Horde Prime. The dream twists around them a little, her mind turning towards darker thoughts than simple stress. ]

No. I haven't.

[ She glares. ]

And you're scared of losing Adora, even though you've done everything you possibly can to push her away from you and convince yourself you don't need her. I can play that game too.

[ Anger, spite. She's letting it get the best of her now and Bright Moon starts to melt away around them, merging and shimmering between bright corridors and the twisted sameness of Horde Prime's cavernous vessel. ]

[ For a brief moment, Catra looks positively murderous. But then Catra smooths out the hair at the back of her head (she's always glad that it's long again her dreams) and the look passes as quickly as it came, replaced with a mean laugh. ]

I'm the one that needs Adora? The Rebellion was in it's death throes before Adora came along to help you guys. You're the ones that need Adora. How long, exactly, do you think you'd last without her?

[ She looks away, pauses for effect, and then looks back to Glimmer. ]

Oh and by the way. Joke's on you. Adora and I made up. She said I was-- oh, what was the wording she used again? "The most important thing in the world to her."

[ That wasn't really the exact wording. But what's Sparkles to know. ]

So I guess she isn't really as anti-Horde as you thought.

The Rebellion won.

[ You know, before Horde Prime got there. The thought shifts the dream again, Horde Prime's vessel starting to solidify around them more and more. Glimmer shakes her head, determination starting to creep back in to replace anxiety. She's at least pushed Catra off the track that was really digging at her. ]

I'm glad she knows who's important to her.

[ It still hurts a little to hear it put that way. Of course, it's Catra. So who knows if she's being honest? ]

And she's definitely anti-Horde. I think you just confused that with being anti-Catra.

[ Catra leans into Glimmer's space, uncomfortably close. ]

If the Rebellion won... then why are you still dreaming about ways to beat us?

[ Glimmer refuses to let Catra win. She doesn't lean back, instead just focusing her glare a little harder. ]

Because dreams are weird. It's like having bad dreams about being late for class even when you're not in school!

[ The corridors of Bright Moon have finally faded, leaving the pair of them instead in the small bedroom that had been Glimmer's prison for weeks now. Glimmer sits on the bed, eyes focused on Catra. At least Catra's stuck inside with her this time? ]

I bet your dreams are full of plenty of things that don't make sense!

Actually, my dreams are pretty great.

[ That's a bold-faced lie, but she isn't about to let Glimmer know that. Instead, Catra takes a second to look around their new surroundings. ]

Wow. Pretty sure there isn't anywhere in Bright Moon that looks like this.

It isn't Bright Moon.

[ Glimmer walks up to the green energy field separating her from the rest of the ship and touches a hand against it, watches it shimmer. ]

This is where I was kept on Horde Prime's ship.

[ As she speaks, dream and memory mingle and on the other side of the force field, a Catra appears. Not the one standing next to Glimmer, but one who looks older. A little tired. Dressed differently. ]

"Hey princess, how's the escape attempt going?"

[ Glimmer doesn't reply--at least not the proper Glimmer. There's another one, more vague and shadowy, a dream Glimmer. ]

"Ugh. You again. Why do you keep coming back here?"

"Just... Bored, I guess."

[ The dream Glimmer sits on the edge of her bed, replying. Glimmer mouths the words with her, remembering the moment. ]

"No, I mean, Horde Prime told you NOT to talk to me? He's gonna catch you eventually. Why risk it?"

[ The dream Catra shifts and looks unsure and the real Glimmer replaces her dream counterpart, stepping up to look just a little smug. ]

You're lonely, aren't you?

Edited 2020-07-22 17:56 (UTC)

[ Catra looks on the exchange in bewilderment. She doesn't have the knowledge or understanding of the situation that her future self has, hasn't been through the same life experiences. She can't physically imagine a future where she willingly comes to visit Glimmer in prison. It's a complete logical disconnect.

So she goes with the only obvious option. ]

Lonely?

[ She says the word like Glimmer is stupid. ]

You princesses really do see everything through rose-coloured glasses. Either that of you've got rocks in your head.

Obviously I was playing you. I probably had an angle I was working. Y'know. "Oh no, I'm going against the big bad boss to make you trust me."

[ She rolls her eyes. ]

Well, at least it looks like you fell for it.

Somehow I don't think that's true, Catra.

[ Glimmer flops back onto the bed to stare at the ceiling of her old prison. It feels weird being back here, even in a dream. She grimaces a little, uncertain. The last time she had seen Catra had been... not great. There had been tears. ]

We talked about Adora here. About her sleep-fighting and stuff. She was on her way here to try and rescue me. Walking right into the most dangerous place in the universe because, you know. She's Adora.

[ She laughs weakly. She had begged Catra to do one good thing, to stop Horde Prime from destroying the universe. To stop him from hurting Adora. The dream twists a little, starting to show fears, not memories. She-Ra, surrounded by Prime's clones outside of Glimmer's cell. Fighting until she can no longer stand, until she is dragged down to be hauled in front of Prime. It's a shadowy image, faint and distant in a way, though it grows more distinct the longer Glimmer stares at it. ]

And then I showed up here. In New Amsterdam.

[ Catra watches Glimmer's fears, and for a moment the expression on her face looks afraid too. But then it's gone in a flash, and she rounds on Glimmer in anger. ]

Why do you think I care? So Adora gets captured and you all lose. Newsflash: that's great for the Horde. That's what we've been aiming for since day one.

And then the whole universe just... goes away because Horde Prime has all the power in the Heart of Etheria. No more Etheria, no more Adora. Sounds like exactly what you want, sure.

[ Glimmer responds to the anger with some of her own. She's trying to get along with Catra for Adora's sake but Catra makes it really, really hard. ]

Don't be so dramatic. He's not going to destroy everything. Who'd be around to worship him or whatever if everything was gone? Every ruler has to have subjects.

[ Catra doesn't really get it. She can't possibly-- she hasn't met him, not like Glimmer has. Horde Prime is still just a concept in her head. A sort of bigger, badder version of Hordak. She hasn't really been witness to the true depths of his insanity. ]

He doesn't care as long as it's just him and his stupid clones, don't you get it?

[ She can't believe she misses the old Catra. Or... the new Catra? Whatever. The one that was more reasonable. ]

He's happy to just float out here on his ship while the rest of the universe burns! Because he thinks only he's perfect and everything else is just there to serve his perfection!

[ There's a significant pause while Catra just stares at Glimmer for a moment, confused. Like Glimmer grew a second head. ]

That... doesn't make any sense.

[ You know, if you assume Prime is, sane. ]

[ Glimmer stares back at Catra, glaring now. ]

It doesn't make sense but that's what he wants! He thinks everything but him is filthy and imperfect!

[ She drags a hand down her face. ]

At least the you from my time understood that! Or...

[ She goes quiet, voice sinking down towards despair again. ]

I thought she did.

[ Catra hesitates for a moment, looking less certain.

She doesn't really get it. But she can sense Glimmer's distress-- that much is real. ]

... Listen. I get that you're all-- freaked out or whatever. But you probably just misunderstood something. Or got played. I know Hordak. And Hordak is a clone of Horde Prime! They can't be that different. Trust me. All planets will have to do is bow down and say "Yeah cool we'll join you," and everything will be fine!

No, Catra!

[ She jerks over towards Catra, reaching out as if she can grab the other girl by her collar. Like shaking her might make things make sense again. ]

He's not like Hordak! He's worse!

[ The dream darkens and in a moment, the looming, terrifying form of Horde Prime is hovering over them. That sickly sweet smile plastered on his face. He is taller and more menacing here than in the flesh--not that he ever needed the help. ]

"Your Highness, is something the matter?"

[ His voice echoes, the thing of her nightmares and anxieties. ]

"You mustn't fight with our other guest."

[ Hmmm. Nope, don't like that. Catra's tail twitches involuntarily behind her, but she keeps her cool. ]

... Huh. He looks... different. Than I'd imagined.

[ Glimmer shrinks back a little. Her terror is obvious, but she's trying to put on a brave face, even in her dream. ]

He's awful.

[ She swallows. ]

I hate him.

Aerith hasn't been anywhere like this before.

She takes her time walking down the corridors, pausing as she takes in the murals. Soon, she arrive to the room, stopping in the doorway and recognizing Glimmer, from before.

When she's beckoned, Aerith figures why not. She's no mastermind when it comes to battles, but offering a different perspective or even to be there to bounce idea off of? She's good at that.

Settling in beside Glimmer, she leans forward to get a good look at the map, humming to herself in thought. "It's a tough job, wrangling stubborn friends into listening."

She says, considering herself one of those stubborn friends to her own little group of misfits.

"What've you got so far?"

"It's the worst," Glimmer agrees. "I'm the queen now. I wish they would remember that and act like it instead of just... ignoring me."

Glimmer sighs and leans forward over the map.

"Well, the Horde is pushing really hard towards Salineas--they need access to the straits there to use the sea, but I don't know what their plans are and..." She trails off, groans, and drops her head to the table.

"I'm not sure. They've been hitting us hard. Some kind of ambush, maybe?" The dream has hold of her. Maybe soon she'll realize that she's not actually back home, but for now... here she is.

She reaches to give Glimmer a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure they're not ignoring you, maybe they like the excitement of running head first into things, hmm?" Not that being reckless is a great idea either but she gets it. Objectively and not at all from experience, nope.

When Glimmer's head is on the table, Aerith leans forward to get a closer look at the map, puzzling over it. Definitely nothing like her world, that's for sure. Seems like her new friend is someone who has had a lot on her mind.

"What's their purpose? Are they trying to get something?" She brings her arms up to rest on the table, glancing over at her companion.

"If they can get past the straits, they'll be able to use the ocean to attack the Rebellion from the flank..." Glimmer explains helpfully, despite her head still being on the table.

"...I keep running this stuff through my head over and over. And no matter what I feel like it's going to end the way it already did."

Edited 2020-07-17 14:57 (UTC)

Aerith takes a moment to let that simmer in her mind, turning her focus back on the map laid out before them. She is wildly out of her element when it comes to battle plans and the like, she knows this, so she knows any suggestion she makes might not be the best.

"So, maybe look at it as if you're on the other side. What do you think would cause the most trouble for you?" Placing a finger on the map, she traces what seems like the path Glimmer is talking about. "Other than some kind of catastrophic storm, I guess. No way to just call up a bunch of wind whenever you want."

"We have Mermista, which is pretty much like having a storm on demand," Glimmer says with a little smirk.

"It's weird. Because I feel like I have to plan this, but at the same time I know we already did this and it's over. It just... keeps coming back."

Mermista. That sounds really useful to her. Propping her chin on her hands, she tries to imagine what that's like. Is it a huge spell? Does it mean someone casts it or is it magic different than what she's used to?

"Maybe this is your way of trying to look back and see where things went wrong. Try to prevent it." Obviously, of course, but Aerith knows all too well that kind of dwelling can get someone lost. "It's good to look back and learn a lesson, but trying to change the outcome if it's already happened..."

That's a fruitless effort. She lets out a sigh.

"So, maybe there's something here you think you need to learn. To prepare yourself for whatever comes your way in the future?"

"I guess," Glimmer says with a groan. Her chin drops into one hand as she squints at the map, as if it might have an answer for her somewhere.

"I think I'm just stressed," she admits quietly. "We won, but then someone worse showed up, and I was... Captured, I guess and now I'm here and all I can think about is what might be happening back home. Whether my friends are okay." She looks over at Aerith, gaze imploring. Is there an answer here?

"I feel like there's nothing I can control any more."

She can relate to that - thinking of her own home gives her an uncomfortable feeling, a pit in her stomach. They'd come so far, had so much more to do, and they still have friends fighting.

"It's hard, feeling out of control. Are we ever really in control, though?" She's musing out loud, for Glimmer and herself. If she had a choice, she doesn't know if she would return home at all. Is this her own afterlife? Just a different life? She can't say. "I know for a long time, I lived in a state of denial about myself. There were people who wanted me for something, and I thought I was so clever, not being captured. Avoiding them. I think they just let me exist how I wanted to because I wasn't brave enough to leave my home."

It's easy to see that, looking back, but as a teenager she considered herself so smart for outwitting a huge corporation. Turns out, she was just an overconfident kid.

"The only thing we can control is ourselves. How we perceive things." Do they let their failures weigh them down, or do they learn? Do they let the victories go to their heads or keep their guard up? Do they look at the world as an ugly place, or a place where light can touch even the darkest shadows? "It's very clear that you care about your people. That's important, I think."

"I don't know," Glimmer admits quietly. "I thought I was. At least... I had to tell myself I was. You know, as a queen you need to seem in control even when you're not. So many people are depending on you..." There's another pause and a brief smile as Glimmer puts on a brave face, as always.

"I have to take care of the people around me. It's what my mom would have wanted."

"If that's the case, then I'm sure you're doing what you should be. Trying your best for your people."

And isn't that the first step to being a good leader? She knows from her own experience, looking at those who lead her world, they don't care about taking care of anyone but themselves.

"Tell me about this Mermista. Do you think that has a chance?"

"I hope so," Glimmer murmurs. "Now it just seems like I'm stuck even further from them then I was before. She's getting sunk back into her gloomy thoughts when Aerith asks her about Mermista.

"Oh, definitely. Mermista basically controls water and the ocean, so pretty much no one is getting past her kingdom as long as she's around to keep it safe."

"That sounds like something that can help a lot! If Mermista does her thing, what would that force the invaders to do?"

Aerith doesn't claim to be a mastermind, battle plans are beyond her. Getting people to safety, though...

"Do you think people could have enough time to evacuate?"

"THey'll have to come overland, through the Whispering Wood. Which is a lot harder to traverse for the Horde..." Glimmer trails off, then sighs and drops her forehead to the table.

"They should, if we get enough warning of any attack. It's hard, though. People are so spread out and the Horde is so indiscriminate."

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What we all dread most is a maze with no centre [ open ]

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