EVENT #011.3 / ARRIVAL #028

[larkers]

WHO: Newcomers + a new NPC, plus people arriving back from the AU.
WHERE: The moon!!!! To start.
WHEN: As the AU is ongoing. Early August 2512, two weeks after the AU swept people away at the start.
WHAT: Arrivals, explanations, and more.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of drug use.

> EVENT #011.3 / ARRIVAL LOG #028

When you wake, you'll be disoriented. Even wakefulness is a challenge. You slip in and out. First, you find yourself drugged, looking out through clear walls of a laboratory, deep into the darkest part of the ocean. Then, when you wake up later, there's a logo, as well as words on the wall: PROJECT MEADOWLARK. The logo is a bird: yellow and gray with a black V-shaped crest on its chest. If you know birds, you'll know this bird as the meadowlark. Out you go again.

In comes a man swearing, muttering to himself. "Really not meant to do this alone. Fuck me." Alarm crosses his features when he sees your eyes open. "No, not you. I'm not—let me just up your dose." He steps closer, hitting a button. After a few beeps, you're out again.

When you finally wake, you'll find yourself in a pristine room, one lined with beds. The walls are painted a forest green. In the distance, you'll hear the chirping of birds. The air around you is cool, sterile. You'll notice two things: first, that your head has recently been shaved, all bits of hair cut down to nothing. The second thing is that you have a surgical scar on the back of your head. This, too, is a recent addition. The neural implant inside of you doesn't connect to the internet yet, but it's safe to assume that it will sooner or later.

(The sole exception to these things is Jason Todd: his head is still full of hair, but he's knocked out like the rest of you, as well as dressed in a hospital gown.)

As you begin to stir from where you're sitting, you'll be able to come to set your feet on the floor. Like the air, it's chilled, as if it's artificial in some way. If you've been in space with artificially applied gravity, you'll recognize it here. That's the only thing keeping you grounded and properly settled.

The bed you're on has drawers, and within it are several sets of clothing, all in your size. Whoever set you up here took care to make sure you were comfortable.

Once you're dressed—assuming that you do get dressed, you could always just walk around with your ass out—you can head out and explore where you are. It seems you have open access to it.

And what is it, exactly? A futuristic bachelor's pad, at least from the look of it. There are numerous projection screens throughout this place, this home, though you won't be able to see what's on them. (Jason Todd excepted: he'll see that there are various colony-led news reports about the missing people on Earth, all stolen away for unknown reasons.) In nearly every room, there are birds that fly freely and chirp happily. Some are settled on makeshift trees that sprout from the walls with long vines hanging from them. Others settle on the water of artificial indoor ponds. Either way, whoever owns this joint definitely has to have a means of keeping up with all the bird crap, because there is none anywhere.

At the heart of this unusual, forest-like abode is a pathway that leads to a wide open space. Here, too, is another artificial pond, as well as a number of branches sprouting from the wall. Near what looks like an open window looking out at a vast and barren crater-filled surface is a tall and slender man with a hint of facial hair. Upon your approach, he'll turn and offer a tired smile. "Ah, I see the drugs have worn off. Good. Would you like to take a seat? We have a lot to cover, and I'm not terribly used to the process." A beat. "Oh, sorry. I'm Jimmy. Would you believe that I'm why you're here? … Here, well. I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?"

To continue this conversation, head over here.

For now, you'll know that you're stuck on what is very literally the moon. After all, going down to Earth could be a risky venture at this time.

> EXPLORING THE MOON / MOON CULTURE

After the conversation with Jimmy completes, the next day will be all about setting up the newcomers with their new IDs, as well as filling them in on what's going on. Everyone will know about the Earth being left empty, about the sudden shift in atmosphere as a result, as well as the difficult connotations about what's happening. Once everyone has identification, they're given access to come and go from Jimmy's place as they please. By then, they'll have the option of having a room of their own, as there seems to be a countless number of rooms in this odd moon mansion. If anything, it looks like Jimmy planned for guests—but those guests never came for whatever reason. Or perhaps they haven't been there for a while?

Once anyone leaves Jimmy's home, they'll be able to step out and explore the rest of the moon: which is truly a sight to behold. Satellite views don't do the Lunar colony any justice. UNC1 is the only fully livable space colony in this world, and it shows. Set up with artificial atmosphere and gravity, there are numerous machines outside that work around the clock to terraform the moon to make it livable for a future population.

On the inside of the colony, however, the moon is gorgeous—after all, it's largely set up and constructed to appeal to the wealthiest individuals in this world. There are numerous oversized homes like Jimmy's throughout, all connected through an intricate system of tunnels that quickly transport people via platforms from one area to another. There are numerous shopping centers, as well as parks with giant canopies of trees lending a sense of nature in an unlikely place. Ever visited an upper class mall and known that you weren't the clientele that they were trying to appeal to? That is definitely the aura that the moon gives off.

So, what is there to do on the moon?

> SPACE WALKS
Why would someone ever agree to live on the moon if they couldn't go out onto the surface? While the moon is still about 50 years out from having a breathable, livable surface, there is some charm over being able to walk on its surface. Space walks and tours go on all day and every day, allowing people access to various parts of the moon. These tours are controlled. Right now, the walks are fifty-percent off because of the lack of tourists from Earth. After all, if there's no one left down there, there's no one to visit. This enterprise has gotta get its credits from somewhere.

> THE CLUBBING SCENE
For the people who managed to get property on the moon, work is a bygone of a forgotten era. Everyone here is wealthy enough that they don't need to think about anything but play and more play. VR gaming centers are a big and loved commodity, but more than that is the clubbing scene.

Under-surface clubs run 24/7. Everything in these clubs is set up to help someone get away from monotony. There are sex-workers on site at all times, but with the same conditions and protections afforded to them on the planet below. In addition, alcohol is only the best of the best—priced to match the high-end tastes of everyone on the moon. The workers at these locales are paid very well to put up with a drunk group, but they're expected to also take all forms of abuse. Then again, a job here can set someone up for the next couple years, even if they just make it for six months.

> SHOPPING CENTERS
Just because it's the moon doesn't mean you're free from a capitalist hellscape. If anything, without a bustling economy built upon the backs of a visible working class, these shopping centers are necessary to give people things to do. As expected of goods that are imported from the Earth below, everything is decidedly costly. As a result, very little is imported that is cheaply made. At the same time, that means everything within these shopping centers is expensive. Need a nice pair of pants? It's going to cost you four times as much as it would down below.

But don't worry. Jimmy? Jimmy's given everyone permission to just put it all on his tab. If you need a new change of clothes, or want to set yourself up while you're stuck on the moon, Jimmy's got your back.

> ANTI-GRAVITY CHAMBERS
Gotten the idea that the moon is for hedonists who don't want to act like there's a real world elsewhere? Helping to feed into that notion are anti-gravity chambers throughout the moon colony to help someone enjoy themselves somewhere without gravity. In these chambers, you can go from gravity to zero gravity and figure out what you prefer the most. These chambers offer complete privacy, letting someone do whatever they might want without being … weighed down.

One thing that's not widely advertised is a unique, hallucinogenic drug that's recommended for the anti-gravity experience. Ominously named "SyFon," this is a psychotropic drug with all of the typical effects of drugs like that. Combined with the anti-gravity experience, it can really mess someone up. In good and bad ways, depending on how they react to it all. SyFon is, of course, illegal. But that doesn't mean that someone can't try it, right?

> CRIMINAL ENTERPRISES
Where does a drug like SyFon come from? Well, there is a burgeoning criminal enterprise on the moon. Rumor has it that the Petrov and Riverside mobs are vying for the credits of the rich, and have worked to set up centers on a variety of colony moons to help develop drugs, weapons, and other goods. How well this enterprise is working is up for debate, especially since SyFon is the only successful thing coming out of it. Needless to say, this enterprise is a work in progress.

> THE WORKING CLASS
Who's manning this laidback lifestyle on the moon? As the first of the colonies, the moon was once primarily populated by people whose labor was used and whose efforts were largely taken advantage of in favor of setting up a new home for humanity. Several decades have passed since then, and now UNC1 is a tourist destination for everyone on the Earth. So, what does that mean for Lunar businesses? They need to be well-prepared to handle a wealthy clientele, as well as appeal to the rich folks who decided they wanted to live the rest of their lives on the moon.

These days, getting a job on the moon is a difficult task. You need references, as well as an assurance that you'll be able to manage the atmosphere up there. A doctor needs to sign off on whether you can live up there (and it's important to note that while this clearance should exist for the other colonies, the UN sure as hell isn't enforcing this kind of test). Many people who end up in retail and clubbing jobs start off in terraforming factories, and then look for openings so that they can move horizontally within the Lunar ecosystem.

> CATCH UP
If you aren't interested in the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous: Lunar Edition, you can focus on using your internet connection to catch up. Yes, the world below is empty. Yes, there was a monster attack a few months ago. Yes, memes are still a thing. Many of you will have a whole lot of history, or even an entire world's setup to catch up on, and future Google, whatever it may be called, is still there for you. Jimmy, of course, will be willing to fill you in on anything else.

> AN OTHERWORLDLY EXPERIENCE

Before too long, people begin to appear on the surface of the Earth once more. Bit by bit, people begin to return from the Aerie, forced to contend with two different sets of memories. While everyone will return as if they're waking from a dream, they'll know that they likely didn't just fall asleep. Whatever they left behind will be a world they knew full of people they loved. They accepted the veracity of that world, believing it to be real. Believing it to be the only one they knew.

And who are these people? Within the Aerie, they are the recently deceased.

Once people begin to appear on the Earth and access networks, both El and Cassius will know that they need to reach someone. With few choices available to them, Cassius will reach out to Jimmy, having noticed his little trip down to Earth to pick up his new batch of incoming folk. After all, he needed to get them ready. Cassius will fill Jimmy in on the returns, as well as ask him to send his new "friends" down to learn whatever they can.

> FOR THE RETURNING
If you're returning from the Aerie at this time, you died. Some deaths aren't remembered or experienced, not entirely, so it's possible that your death this time slipped by without notice. (Basically, we're not forcing someone to have their character experience the trauma of death if they'd rather not deal with it.) Either way, upon returning, you'll find yourself waking within your bed. Was that where you were before you left? Unlikely. But it's where you are upon your return. Even the people who weren't Displaced will return to the place they last considered home, waking up as if they're returning from a very bad dream.

Everyone who returns will still have their full memories of their time in the Aerie. If someone had a new power, however, it'll be replaced with the power they had before. However … well, things may change here, depending on how things go on the other side.

If you're returning, you may notice some changes. If you died, you may notice a scar from what killed you. If you had a tattoo in that world, it may still remain. Any and all changes are up to someone's subconscious identification of themselves.

While the majority of the Displaced will awaken in New Amsterdam, there are still countless people who can and will return. And unlike the Displaced, they aren't as accustomed to wacky antics like, oh, a new set of memories and the psychological ramifications that come with that. Maybe they could use some help?

> FOR THE NEWCOMERS (AND THE ONE LONE RETURN)
Upon receiving contact from Cassius, Jimmy will explain that there are people returning down below, and that Cassius has requested some help. If anyone wishes to speak to Cassius directly, they can. Of course, Cassius is a space exploration AI who's more than willing to help them navigate their time in this world, as well as the short space travel needed from the Lunar colony back to the Earth itself. There won't be a lot of explanation for how Jimmy and Cassius know each other, or even if they do—but someone can feel free to ask.

First off: want some sassy AI time? Cassius is here for all your needs. He'll even buff up your past resume if you'd like.

Secondly: ready to go Earthside? Jimmy will offer everyone his private transport back to Earth. (Yes, this dude is that rich.) This transport only goes between the Lunar colony and a remote base off the coast of New Tokyo, but there will be a boat ready to bring everyone to New Tokyo proper. From there, all of the Displaced can travel all over the world.

As for any other quick facts?

◉ Wait, how can the Displaced travel? There are gates in all 104 megacities on Earth. These gates essentially give people fast travel. After hitting New Tokyo and accessing its Gate, all someone has to do is think of their next location, and they'll land there.

◉ So, what are the conditions on Earth? Barren. There are no people, no hover cars, nothing. Animals have begun to creep over the walls in all of the cities. After all, without the cars startling them, as well as the countless people crammed within the megacities themselves, they can begin to reclaim the world itself, bit by bit.

◉ New Amsterdam in particular looks even more like a forest. It's as if whatever happened during the AU has accelerated the growth in New Amsterdam itself. Apartments will be filled with vines. There will also be a lot of animals making their home in the city. For the unaware, New Amsterdam has been growing a lot of plant life since an unusual circumstance where all of the Displaced were pulled into another pocket world and then returned. Since then, plant life in New Amsterdam has grown at an accelerated rate, forcing the city to work around the clock to keep the city from being fully reclaimed by nature. Now, it looks like all of those efforts were for naught.

◉ Time has continued to seemingly flow normally. However, not everyone is back from the Aerie yet. It seems as if there may be more time for weirdness ahead.

> FINAL NOTES OOC

As a note, if you did not reply to us about starting in or outside of the AU, your character will be starting in this log.

With this log and its companion log, we're ending the first phase of Meadowlark's lifespan that primarily focused on the investigation into the world's lore. We'll be starting our second phase: characters choosing what to do next. We'll be detailing this more in our aftermath log/post, which will be due on JANUARY 16 2021. This aftermath log will double as an arrival log for whoever apps during our January application round.

Both logs for this phase of the event—11.2 and 11.3—are companion logs geared toward clearing up very large pieces of the Meadowlark mystery. While the AU acts as a reimagining of the game's metaplot, our NPC in the "real world" log will be divulging information. We've decided to go forward with making this clear because our playerbase has worked toward these mysteries for the last two years, and we'd like to help change the direction of the game from one based around a mystery of arrival and instead focus on what to do next. Of course, there will still be other mysteries to solve, as well as any true intentions, and figuring that out will depend on character choices and actions moving forward.

To make one thing clear, there won't be any radical changes to Meadowlark as a setting, nor is it anywhere near what might be called "end game." Instead, we're emphasizing a turn toward player-driven actions and plots because a lot of the mysteries related to the overall lore came to a head just prior to the AU starting. Think of this as having all of the lore pieces needed in order to begin to understand some of the remaining mysteries so that characters can decide what to do next.

All that said, we've also decided to use these logs to facilitate some future character plots, as well as help in releasing some characters from the AU! We also have one question that we'd like to pose for you.

(As a note: There is one link missing from below with regards to plot opportunities, as it's only relevant to characters in the AU.)

◉ Character deaths. We know that playing in an AU for two months can be exhausting, so if you'd like a get out of AU free card, this is the way out. If death may prove too traumatic, your character doesn't need to remember dying. All characters will wake up in the real world as if they're waking up from a dream. We'd just like a sign up so that other players can know who's vanishing from the AU via death! If you're having your character return in this log, please make sure to sign up at this link!

◉ What to do with the caged gods?. Unchaining the gods could have catastrophic effects on the Aerie, especially since they were the main key to sustaining it for all those years. Will they be unchained, or will they be allowed to flounder within the cages themselves? We're opening this choice up to the entirety of our playerbase. We will need all votes submitted by JANUARY 9, 2021 so that we can factor it into our aftermath.

◉ Any aftermath to consider? While this links back to the in-Aerie log, it'll cover all of our bases for the aftermath moving forward. If your character has contributed to helping the outside world since leaping from the AU, let us know!

◉ CRAU Relationships.: Finally, on our companion log, we have a unique NPC who's been through the jamjar ringer before. This is our NPC Jimmy Henries. If you'd like to sign up your character as someone that Jimmy knew before, head over there and fill out the form on the page!

If you have any other questions, please hit our questions thread(s) on the respective logs.

> NAVIGATION

Comments

[lifetothefullest]

[Mistakes were made, and Lance is not at all convinced by that uncertain answer.]

That's not exactly a confident response.

[braveoff]

[ Drake shrugs. ]

I'm not exactly sleeping well either, that's all. But I can sleep shittily in New Tokyo just as easily as my apartment, and I'd be helping.

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance frowns a little at that, not entirely surprised, but still. He's quiet a few moments, taking another drink of water, but then decides that he supposes he can't exactly press too much.]

As long as you aren't going to pass out like an idiot in the back room of a bar or something.

[braveoff]

[ Drake considers Lance, the way it seems like he's holding his tongue. ]

...you want me to talk about it, don't you?

[lifetothefullest]

When don't I?

[But that said--]

If you don't want to, you don't have to. But if you'd like to talk, I'm not going anywhere.

[Figuratively or literally, at the moment.]

[braveoff]

I probably need to.

[ So does Lance. They've established that neither of them want to, though. Drake weighs it for a moment, then smiles faintly. ]

I'll trade you. It doesn't have to be right now, but you promise to talk to me about what's keeping you up at night and I'll let a little out.

[ Because there's a lot, and shit's complicated for him, but the most pressing issue is definitely what went down in the Aerie and the things in his past it's brought up. ]

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance hesitates for a moment himself at that, but after a deep breath and letting it out slowly he finds it isn't quite as difficult to agree as he might've expected.]

Okay. Deal.

[braveoff]

Scoot over a little.

[ He takes a seat next to Lance on the couch when the other man complies, letting out one breath and taking another. It's as easy as that, he tells himself, just find a starting point and let it out. ]

Did I ever tell you about Frank?

[lifetothefullest]

[He does as asked, slightly ungracefully but still without spilling any of his drink or food, so that's a win. At the question his eyebrows furrow a moment.]

I'm not sure. I want to say that you might've, but... You know how Hadriel was.

[Things happened so fast and they were always so stressed out that it's easy for memories to get mixed up, and that didn't even include all the strange things brought on by events.]

cw: child, domestic abuse

[braveoff]

[ Drake nods -- he doesn't remember either, but it wasn't really relevant to his life there. He didn't think it was relevant here either, but the Quarry dredged it up. ]

Frank was one of my mom's many abusive boyfriends. It was a parade of them my whole life. Sometimes it was just Ma they'd hit, sometimes it was me, too. But I was in nineteen when this happened; I come home one night Ma's in the kitchen crying, with a black eye and a bloody nose. Frank's just calling out from the living room for another beer. Calling her all kinds of things. And I still don't know why it was that night, but it was. I went in there and called him out, told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't get out of our house. We start to fight, he pulled a knife... something in me just snapped. I beat him so bad Ma thought I killed him. I did two years for that. I told myself I'd never be like that again, and I haven't been.

[ Another breath. In. Out. Just fess up and move on to what's actually bothering you. ]

There was no Frank over in that world. That me was... better than this one, maybe. And I trained for the Quarry, but when it came down to it, I couldn't kill there. I'm back here because I hesitated after I'd already won, and -- well, it doesn't really matter. The dying doesn't bother me, I've done that before. But every time I close my eyes here, I'm back in that fight. I see that guy who did me in, coming at me... and I do to him what I did to Frank and worse. Wake up freaked. And I've gotta wonder if I'm still that guy, if I'm always going to be, it's just buried down deep.

[ He scrubs at his face. ]

I don't know.

[lifetothefullest]

[Oh. That's... Not what he's expecting, and he isn't quite mentally prepared for it; that's not a bad thing in itself, it just means he can't quite hide his emotions as well as he might otherwise. So he ends up having to concentrate on not looking away while Drake's talking, though he isn't able to avoid chewing on his lip a little or tapping his fingers against his glass in small shows of agitation.

When Drake's done, Lance tries to decide what to address first, and what might help the most to hear. If he were counseling the way to proceed would be simple enough, but they're talking as friends, and that means more relying on his intuition.]

You're not a bad person for protecting yourself and your mother.

[He wants that to be very clear; even if his voice is quiet as he says it, there's no hesitation.]

It wouldn't have been wrong of you to protect yourself in the Aerie either, just as it wasn't to make the choice not to. Having a different life and different experiences in the Aerie didn't make that version of you better or worse than you are now, just one whose life took an alternate path.

[braveoff]

[ It's one problem of several, but the one that's most relevant to their current situation and the one that means he could end up a little too exhausted like Lance. So it's what he went with! ]

Am I a bad person if I was angry when I hurt Frank? Or if it felt... satisfying, somehow?

[ He's trusting Lance not to slip into therapist mode, he just wants to be talking to a friend who knows him. Sometimes that's the best thing, when you feel like you don't know yourself. ]

[lifetothefullest]

No. That's very normal.

[The answer here would've been the same if it were professional advice, but it's not at the moment; it's genuine, not recited from a textbook.]

It would make you a bad person if you had decided you liked that feeling enough to go hurt other people to keep chasing it, but it sounds like you did the exact opposite.

[braveoff]

[ Something in Drake's posture eases hearing Lance's opinion, and he nods a little. ]

Basically. Remember when I first came to you and said I had experience with therapy? This is what it was for. I scared myself, being like that.

[lifetothefullest]

[He's glad to see Drake relax a little, and hopes he's helping.]

Yeah, I remember, and that makes sense. But seeking help to make sure that you don't become someone you don't want to be is another sign that you don't need to worry. Not that you shouldn't continue to be very aware of your behavior, and how you feel, and to make sure you don't go down a path you don't want to follow, but...

[He offers a small smile, hoping that the confidence he says his next words with will give Drake some confidence in them too.]

You don't need to be perfect to be a good person.

[braveoff]

...I think I just really needed to hear someone else tell me that. Somebody I trust.

[ He smiles a little, reaching up and gripping Lance's shoulder gratefully. It isn't that often that he doubts who he is in that way and that in itself kind of shook him. ]

Might make the dreams a little easier to deal with.

[lifetothefullest]

I hope so.

[He returns the smile, and the hand on his shoulder is both a comfort and a signal he did something right. It's always nice to actually be able to help, especially lately, when he feels like he's an utter failure about just about everything.]

But if not, try not to be too hard on yourself about it. You still need time to process everything.

[braveoff]

I know. It's me wanting to skip the processing time again, you'd think I'd know by now it's not possible. You can't go from a pile of wood to a house without actually building it. Or something like that.

[ Then, making sure to keep his tone light, he asks: ]

Should I catch you up on the status out there while you finish, or do you want to talk too?

[lifetothefullest]

I have two doctorates in which I claimed I knew all about that sort of thing, but I still make the same mistake too.

[It's just one of those things that's difficult; no matter how much you might know what's necessary, sometimes doing it instead of expecting things to magically improve is still so incredibly difficult.

That's the case yet again as he tries to decide how to answer the question, gaze flickering down to his plate for a moment to distract himself. He's already agreed to trade so if it's not now it's going to be later, Drake's already taken the big step of opening up, and maybe... Maybe Lance should try starting to built his own house, so to speak.

So, after a few moments of silence, he still can't look at Drake again but he does finally speak.]

I um... Dying in the Aerie wasn't really that bad. It was fast, and there wasn't any malice involved, it was just someone doing what they had to in order to survive.

[And so it really isn't the problem; like Drake, it's less the Aerie that's the issue and more what the Aerie reminded him of.]

But I told you that I was dead at home too, and that was... It was a lot worse, and it's like... Like it just happened, all over again.

[It's like the trauma of it has hit again like it's completely new, and it's so much to deal with on its own, even without everything else going on.]

[braveoff]

[ Drake settles back again when Lance starts to talk, fixing his gaze on the coat rack across the room so the other man doesn't have to feel the weight of his gaze. Maybe that'll make it easier?

The stuff about how he died in the Aerie gets a little hum of understanding, but then Lance gets to the actual problem and he's quiet because he does remember. ]

Are you... do you want to tell me what happened, or is it less the circumstances and more 'every time I close my eyes I'm dying again'?

[lifetothefullest]

[He'd managed to tell the story once to Kyna in Hadriel, and just a small amount to Ian a few days ago. But it's still so difficult to try to put any of it into words, and he struggles with trying to figure out if he wants to--and if he wants to, if he even can--but finally he decides to make an attempt.]

Both, to an extent, but the circumstances and what led up to everything is a lot to go into.

[And although there are definitely issues there, they aren't the pressing ones. Right now it's more the latter of what Drake described, that Lance remembers how fast and violent the altercation was, that his dreams are chaotic fragments of the sound of bones snapping echoing through the parking garage and the feeling of choking on blood.

But just thinking about that to try to find the words is difficult again, and he had to fight to will himself to speak.]

The person who... Who killed me, he didn't bother using a weapon. It was just a fight, and he just...

[It's a very personal, violent way to be murdered, so much worse than if he'd been shot or something. So much worse than being stabbed, like he had been in the Aerie. For as fast as the confrontation had felt, it was a slow way to kill someone.

He takes a deep breath, and tries to bring his thoughts together in a way that actually makes sense for Drake.]

It's usually re-experiencing it, or pieces of it.

[braveoff]

[ Drake nods, even if Lance isn't looking at him -- he doesn't have to go into it now, obviously. Not if that isn't what's keeping him up. ]

Another time, maybe.

[ But the explanation continues and it was a beating. And he just told Lance about Frank. That's slightly awkward, but since Lance didn't seem to struggle too much with his story he's just going to focus on what his friend is telling him now. He's quiet for a long moment wondering what he could possibly say, how to deal with that kind of memory. The fear there, the pain. ]

I'm sorry, Lance.

[ His voice is low and gentle, and he finally glances back over. ]

I don't know if there's really anything that'll help the dreams right away besides my power, but you're not alone. Okay? I've actually been looking into treatment for-- [ He fumbles briefly, then shakes his head and starts again. ] There's stuff I didn't know existed that's supposed to speed up how we process trauma, I don't know if this is a thing back in our worlds that you'd know all about already, but have you thought about eye movement desensitization?

And I can help you sleep for awhile if you need it. Those kind of nightmares usually happen when you first fall asleep, right?

[ He seems to have been telling the truth, and has actually been researching this kind of thing recently. Lance can probably guess why. ]

[lifetothefullest]

[Normally, the connection between their previous discussion and this one would've been something Lance was immediately careful of and would've hesitated to go near, not wanting to risk making Drake feel bad. But right now it's two things in particular that make him completely miss it, the first being that he's just entirely off his game, the second being that he genuinely isn't drawing a parallel; what Drake did was completely and utterly different from this situation, and the divide is very sharp for Lance, even if it's subconscious.

He gives a small nod at the condolences, not expecting anything more than that; it's always enough when someone just cares at all, let alone doesn't brush him off or, worse, judges him for not having everything perfectly together all the time. He definitely isn't expecting actual advice or suggestions, so it takes him a brief moment to realize that he needs to process and engage beyond staring at the floor. The question about EMDR is easiest to focus on, because he has a simple answer, so he starts there.]

I'm aware of it, but it was still pretty new while I was in grad school. So although I'm familiar with the theory, I don't have much actual experience with it in practice.

[Either as a patient or the therapist. But it's something to consider, even if it's not really something he could do alone and the thought of trying to trust a counselor in another world is... Daunting, to say the least.

He knows he has to actually face what happened, as well as everything that's come along with over two years of repressing it while going through other continuous trauma both in Hadriel and now here, but the very thought of it is so overwhelming. Whenever he thinks he might be ready to try to gather the energy and willpower to try it, something else happens, and the cycle starts over.

But he isn't rejecting the idea outright, at least, and as for the other question--]

I think so, though I don't usually get far along enough to test.

[Since he tends to wake up immediately, so who knows if they'd return if he managed to sleep any longer.]

[braveoff]

[ This is a big thing, and not an offer Drake takes lightly, but he wasn't even considering using a native therapist. The offer that comes out next is soft and genuine, and a little wary. ]

I could get certified. My bosses are pushing me to go into counseling, apparently they'd pay for it. But until then I could still help you sleep.

[lifetothefullest]

[The tone--especially the wariness--catches his attention before the words do, the latter taking a moment longer to process than the former, and he's... Not sure what to make of any of it, or how to respond.

So he's silent several seconds, trying to put his own thoughts in order and figure out how to approach this subject, and then finally manages to look back over at Drake.]

You don't sound particularly convinced by the idea.

[He offers it with some caution of his own, not wanting to discourage Drake or make him think that Lance doesn't appreciate the offer, but there's a lot about this that he's very uncertain about. The wording Drake used--"pushing me to go into counseling"--is just an easy starting point.]