EVENT #11.4 / ARRIVAL LOG #029

[larkers]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: The Aerie as it ends in an anime-like fashion, New Tokyo, and New Amsterdam
WHEN: August 23, 2512 onward.
WHAT: Event ending, arrivals, and a lot of changes.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Coercion and loss of autonomy, religious themes.

> EVENT #011.4 / ARRIVAL #029

As suddenly as they all vanished, the people who remained in the Aerie begin to return. These people have not died: instead, they seem to return peacefully after an extremely unusual experience. As the gods are freed, the Aerie begins to take on a different form, radically altered by this decision. The very fabric of reality unravels. It's not that the city continues to grow more and more dilapidated by the moment—instead, the Aerie ceases to exist, dragging everyone who remains within into a joint, out of body experience.

At once, everyone's memories return in full. As they float in what is an open space, they'll recall who they were once before, right alongside their alternate life in the Aerie. Even if they can't see them, they'll begin to feel the others there: not just that they exist, but their emotions: wonder, surprise, irritation, anger, fear, guilt. Somehow, they recognize that they're connected to the billions of living souls there alongside them.

What once seemed like a wide, open space comes to be recognized as a large, vast ocean. They float in the deepest depths of the ocean, and they begin to see sea life swirl around them. Whales. Sharks. The glint of a dying star? There are constellations in the distance, too far to reach. It's hard to say where they are, and impossible to communicate to ask, to try to reach one of the billions of other souls there. When they open their mouths to try, they only make an unintelligible sound. Have they, too, been transformed into those creatures? It seems, at least for a moment, like they're communicating via echolocation.

The constellations begin to burn brighter and brighter. As they touch the people there, they're able to see more clearly around them. There are hundreds upon thousands of animals, all with bright golden eyes. They push through the water quickly, and the gold in their eyes fully illuminates the space around them.

Once that illumination meets a critical mass, everyone begins to experience a different joint vision. From the very start, the experience itself is excruciating: they feel an object, vaguely comprehended, but perceived to be spear-like in nature, slicing into them, tearing them asunder. The misery results in a complete and total division of self: splintered and incomplete, scattered into trillions of tiny pieces.

An indefinite amount of time later, there is a stirring. Everyone feels frigid and cold. The chill is excruciating, but different from what it was before. And then, as if a physical feeling can become an emotion, that chill becomes anger. And then that rage starts searching, wandering—

Until it adapts and connects with the ocean around it. The gold in the eyes of the sharks and whales begins to dim. A feeling of grief and eventually peace washes over everyone who remains.

And then everyone begins to shift in their beds, awakening as if returning from a terrible nightmare. Of course, given that they recall all of it, it's likely not much of a nightmare. At least not in a literal sense. When they wake to check in on the world, they'll find it in much the same shape—with the changes being far less obvious at first.

> 30 SECONDS FROM TOKYO

At first, you'll hear the buzz of a motor, as well as smell the splash of ocean water not so far away. You'll find that you're on a boat, passing swiftly over the Pacific Ocean to come into contact with a large, man-made structure in the distance. While you're drugged, you find that you're unable to move much. An IV protrudes from your arm, keeping you sedate. When one of the guards on the boat turns to check on you, they'll find your eyes open. "Sit tight and don't move. We have to be welcomed inside." Even if you're naturally defiant, you find yourself forced to comply.

Eventually, the boat pulls onto a dock that extends from the city itself to welcome your arrival. The mechanisms are complicated and hidden. Unlike a drawbridge in our modern times, the dock extends swiftly and completely, welcoming the boat next to it. After the boat seems to anchor itself into place, the guards present begin to move each of the passengers one by one off the boat. You'll notice others like you: dressed in white, long-sleeved scrubs, with recently shaved heads, and a pair of white tennis shoes. Or most of them are.

There are two exceptions: Eames and Aeryn, who have their hair still, but are just as drugged and kept under. They went through a similar arrival process before the Aerie stole them away, and arrived back after the Aerie ended in a similar manner to Max. Their return to society is just less personalized due to the circumstances.

Eventually, you're taken through the city—a wonder in and of itself, as it's a complex system of elevators spanning both vertically and horizontally through the large, metallic structure—and eventually through the back door of a business.

"All right, listen up everyone. There are people coming to get you. We've got this place for the day, so sit tight." At this, everyone's forced to do as they're commanded. Even if you don't want to sit, you have no choice. "We'll direct the people to bring you water, but that's all. Ask them to show you the glow. And—from me to you?" The guard sounds … tired all of a sudden. Her voice is strained as she adds: "Try not to fuck more shit up."

At once, the guards start to filter out through the back door. As much as everyone left behind can't go anywhere, they sure can talk.

As this process begins, a message is sent to all of the Displaced in New Amsterdam via a private broadcasting channel, one that's meant to only reach a limited number of people. It seems Jimmy's found a way to hack it for his own use, but trying to trace this back to him will prove impossible:

Sorry everyone. Couldn't do an official drop off. I barely scrounged up the people I did to get them to town. They're sitting tight at a bakery called Sweet Omakase in New Tokyo. Just go in and tell the people up front that you're there to pick up a package.

Oh, I forgot to mention: I'll be reaching out to a few of you soon. So … yeah.

JH

As for that compliance drug?

◉ Though entirely capable of independent action and thought, new characters will find themselves completely, unquestioningly compliant to any verbal statement which could be taken as a command or request.

> NEW AMSTERDAM

Though the Displaced can make the choice to keep the newcomers in New Tokyo for longer than a few hours, it's generally not recommended. Morningstar in New Tokyo is in just as much disarray as the rest of the world, and El doesn't want to disrupt their recovery in these trying times. As such, it'll be necessary to take them on a secure route back to the New Tokyo gate, bring them to New Amsterdam, and start to get them ready for their new lives. Of course, they may see a little bit of New Tokyo along the way, but not much given the urgency. (The link is provided for brevity purposes—please see the "New Tokyo" section for a summary of the city itself!)

The abbreviated trip between New Tokyo and New Amsterdam will bring the newcomers back to a city that's been through … a lot. That means it's probably a good time to have a quick catch up, right?

> LAST TIME ON NAMSTERDAM!
Although a year isn't very long for even a human being, the Displaced have managed to make their mark in this unusual world. Having first been released out into the world in mid-June 2511, they started touching the world around them. Whether it was fighting a giant monster or curing people from the sickness caused by inhaling smoke from that giant monster's parts (as well as any tiny little monsters it brought with it) or taking on the UNA when they tried to wipe out an entire chapter of a rebel organization, the mysterious Blue-glowing people were there.

After over a year of interventions left and right, the Displaced finally came forward as a united group—one that's uniquely tied to a business they opened. No one knows they're from another world. They don't even know what the Displaced's powers are, though they've certainly seen them do fantastical things. One thing became apparent: while the Displaced were spotted in other cities around the globe, their influence has been most felt in New Amsterdam. And even if the world's governing body doesn't like it, the people of New Amsterdam have claimed the Displaced as their own.

Most recently, the entire world found itself dragged into another reality called the Aerie. The Displaced had gone through this before on a smaller scale, but this brought everyone present on the planet Earth to this other world. The Aerie was a miracle world: in order to prevent the death of humanity as everyone knew it, a group of heroes chosen by a handful of gods chained said gods and harnessed their power to create a safe haven for all of humanity. As a result of their actions, these people created a major class disparity in order to maintain the secrets of how they created the Aerie. Since billions of people were saved in the process, the Aerie ended up having an overpopulation problem. The answer? A battle royale for anyone who's committed a crime, held monthly.

Well, as these things go, about two hundred years into this horrible experiment, the Aerie started experiencing some challenges. Rebel groups and bombs and more! Eventually the gods were set free, and with it, the Aerie vanished into nothing.

Though the Aerie (and its smaller-scale predecessor, Zerzura) was undoubtedly brought into being by divine intervention, it doesn't help that the Displaced claimed that their powers seemed to be caused by interacting with gods. Troubling much? So, some of the world is divided, with New Amsterdam being the only pro-Displaced left after the Aerie. Of course, it's a touch more complicated than that.

And it doesn't all fall in the laps of the Displaced. After all, they didn't choose to have this happen to them.

An important thing to note is that New Amsterdam is a very, very green city. We don't mean recycling. As if powered by weird god magic, plants grow a-plenty in the city, leaving numerous trees and thousands upon thousands of credits in plumbing issues. Animals came into the city thanks to the absence of humans to start settling in. It's a beautiful city, one that seems as if it's actively fighting against being reclaimed by nature.

With the worldwide trauma, current singing events are currently on hiatus. This likely won't be permanent, but it's not as if anyone is looking to become a pop star at this exact moment.

But that's where New Amsterdam is currently, anyway.

> SUMMER PROBLEMS
Ah, water rationing. That's right: one of the tried and true traditions in New Amsterdam summers is water rationing. During the hot summer months, the city puts out water rationing warnings, and the city also answers the intense and extreme heat by making it so that businesses are open throughout the evening, with everyone sleeping during the daytime. However, the Aerie shot a lot of that preparation in the foot, so the city won't be able to reverse the clock.

Expect a lot of hot, miserable, and extremely humid days ahead. Thanks to the nearly tropical nature of the city at this point, humidity is a natural side effect of it all. The temperatures will be reaching from around 105 F to 115 F during the daytime. The evenings cool off, but certainly not by much, as they dip to only around 90 F to 95 F when the sun goes down.

Oh, and water rationing is most definitely in effect.

> RED WINGS
In February 2512, the bar known as Red Wings first opened. Positioned adjacent to the New Amsterdam stadium, where a wide variety of sporting events occur year round, it's the only business in New Amsterdam that's currently run entirely by the Displaced. However, a few other businesses are set to open in the near and distant future, all tailored to cater to the city that most of the Displaced call home.

On the inside, Red Wings is very, very red. There is a neon sign that's been recently repaired of the Great Lakes state (Michigan). In terms of being a watering hole, the bartenders are all Displaced and all very sympathetic to any newcomers headed their way. Need some free food or a chance to play pool to clear your head? Red Wings is the place to do that. There are tables throughout the bar. There used to be booths, but most of them got shredded during a recent monster attack and … well, tables are easier to replace.

It's likely that all of the newcomers will be brought to Red Wings first for a full meal before being taken to the safehouse across town.

And while there are blank projection screens around the bar showing news broadcasts of what just went down, none of the newcomers will be able to see any of them.

> MURAL
Throughout the past year, multiple murals have gone up around New Amsterdam by a Banksy-like figure. This figure is known to the people of New Amsterdam as Legion, and they tend to commemorate both the Displaced and their ties to the gods. In the Aerie, it was revealed that Legion was a wealthy woman by the name of Nirvana. Upon returning from the Aerie, another new mural goes up in New Amsterdam.

Legion's new mural explodes in color in the large corporate buildings that connect in New Amsterdam's financial district. It depicts the whole story of the Aerie from beginning to end: the conception, the Quarries, the attacks on both the Quarry and the Volary, and then the return. The imagery is woven together like a full story, each picture moving seamlessly into the next. Below are the colors of the gods, painted in vibrant colors that can be seen for miles.

There's specific imagery woven in as well, including the birds that represent the different groups of people, the eclipse and different phases of the moon to signify the timing.

It seems to say never forget.

> HELPING OUT
All around the world, returning members of Morningstar, PRESERVE, and even the cultists who once followed the leader, Ball (though the cultists are only working in New Amsterdam), all spur into action to try to help. Everyone may be traumatized, but they also likely prescribe to the notion of wanting to keep busy. Recalling the Aerie won't be pleasant, and the world needs help. New Amsterdam already has a head start thanks to the resource acquisition and work by a small group of Displaced, but now everyone is back to work.

The work in question? Feed everyone, first and foremost. Countless people are without fresh food. Working in conjunction with both the Red Wings employees and the cultists, PRESERVE will be putting up food banks all around the city. Marcos Diaz's food bank is likely to be fully stocked as a result of this, should he want to get that running again.

Other work that needs to be done involves plumbing, as the plants seem to have very much taken on a life of their own. They're absorbing most of the available water in the city, and have even made the water level decrease in the river (just a bit, though). Water rationing is even more important right now, but it may prove to be a futile effort if the plants aren't held back. Time to get moving. Anyone who wants to be an impromptu apprentice to a plumber is likely going to be welcomed onto the job. They need all hands on deck.

Finally, there are just the people who need help. Roaming bands of former UNA soldiers caused problems even before the mass return. Now they're meeting up and moving as if they're a gang of their own to return order to the land. However, these people are truly traumatized, and it's as if they're calling upon an old order that they can't quite recognize. The problem is that they're extremely dangerous. Though their weapons are mostly makeshift ones, they can fight with them. Along with these roaming bands, there are the catatonic and the confused people, all who could use some assistance to get back on track.

Sadly, the hospitals are not ready to be staffed by typical personnel. If anyone wants to take the lead on this and commandeer those medical centers, they can feel free to! Again, all help is appreciated, even if it might involve some slightly illegal choices.

> SPIRITUAL RECLAMATION
One thing that was significant in Meadowlark's world before the Aerie was a complete lack of religious or spiritual devotion, at least on a major scale. Smaller sects like the tiny cult in New Amsterdam were exceptions that ultimately proved the rule. After all, they didn't even have any written doctrine about their belief systems.

Things begin to change. Some of those changes are obvious, while others are less so—at first.

The first sign of this is in various preachers who take up spots on street corners to preach about the end of the world. With a muddled and confused ideology, these people build little podiums for themselves to speak about the end times: the Aerie was proof that humanity is only buying itself time before an inevitable end—and eventually, the gods will punish them for what they did. While the initial preachers will not have a clear messaging system, this will change in the coming weeks. In fact, it'll seem as if they're all deriving their ideology from the same place—even while located in different megacities.

Quietly, tiny religious communities begin to spring up. With real estate already in shambles before the Aerie, much of the construction has come to a halt in order for people to begin to psychologically heal. As a result, various warehouses throughout the megacities begin to be converted into spiritual centers. At first, these locales will be innocuous in nature, but in time, there will be a clear set of imagery connected to them. Some of that imagery will link back to the Aerie (with a lot of birds, as well as ties to either the Cardinals or the gods), or to the sacred geometry imagery that's been connected to the Displaced for some time.

These spiritual centers may simply be people squatting illegally, but it's not as if any of the various local police departments have the resources to stomp them out. It seems that the UN also views this religious devotion as harmless, at least compared to the other problems that could arise.

> NATURE'S RECLAMATION
Plants and a handful of animals have been at it for a while, but the world is definitely in the process of experiencing a second coming of … fauna? Some are springing up unexpectedly outside of walls, while others are inside of the walls themselves in many megacities. Did you know that pigeons were an uncommon sight in 2512? Well, were is an appropriate word for it. They're no longer uncommon. And what about that river in New Amsterdam? Never one to be a place for fishing, it's now filled to the brim with freshwater fish.

Want to go fishing? New Amsterdam will eventually require a license for it, but it's still early days. There aren't any fishing poles around to purchase, but someone can probably fashion one themselves if they have the know-how.

There will also be more wild insects. Pest control was a thing of the past for this world, but with all these new creatures showing up all over, that's going to be a concern once again. Unless, of course, it's prevented.

> SAFEHOUSE

Not long after their arrival, the new Displaced will be brought across the city to an abandoned hover-bike garage in a neighborhood that's clearly seen better days.

Located under said hover-bike garage, access to the safehouse is a hatch in the floor beside a rusted set of metal shelves that used to hold tools and supplies. The immediate area is similarly abandoned: full of rundown and dilapidated warehouses and forgotten businesses, where numerous people squat in hopes of having some stability because they can't afford a place themselves. The inside of this safehouse looks better than the outside, as it was beginning to be transformed into a training center by Ian Fowler. Once everyone is brought into the safehouse down below, they'll find no one waiting for them. Though Gaby, a Morningstar agent, is typically around, she's absent at this time. Any newbies will need to be filled in by their fellow Displaced, though they can also contact El through zeir inbox, if needed.

The safehouse is a large space with multiple rooms for storage, with the largest of the rooms filled with rows of basic cots set up to sleep a large number of people. Basic, but outfitted with everything necessary for daily life. A few doors lead to back rooms for storage, medical care, and a large communal bathroom, and past the long rows of cots there is a communal kitchen, fully stocked, and an eating area. Privacy is mostly nonexistent in the safehouse, with any past efforts that were made to change that destroyed by numerous attacks along the way.

◉ New characters will be asked to pick their beds, and be provided with a change of (second-hand, mismatched and somewhat threadbare) clothes and basic toiletries.

◉ There is a mini-bar set up in the kitchen. The quality of the alcohol inside is akin to what someone might get from the well at a bar, though it's running low because it hasn't been restocked since before the previous set of arrivals.

◉ While the kitchen has a lot of dried foods to cook, as well as canned and preserved vegetables, most of what's left in the fridge will need to be tossed. In addition, anyone looking for a jolt of caffeine from coffee or tea will find themselves sorely lacking. The only tea present is herbal in nature, and caffeine appears to be pretty much nonexistent in most of the beverages lying around.

◉ Along those same lines, newcomers will find that this is a world that is steeped in sustainable choices. Paper is a thing of the past. Ever used a bidet regularly? This world gives everyone a crash course in exactly what that feels like if they haven't done that before.

◉ Everyone will receive a modest stipend of credits from Morningstar to help them get by until they can find a job. This will be enough to cover their living expenses for about a month while they hang out in the safehouse, if they're careful with budgeting.

◉ The drugs making new characters compliant will remain in their systems for a few hours after their arrival at the safehouse before finally beginning to fade. They will be gone entirely after a night's rest. In the meantime, they may want to be careful of what others say to them.

◉ New characters will be given rudimentary access to the network upon arrival to the safehouse, but will not have their ID set up yet. They will be able to make posts and replies, but their messages will be anonymous—and they do not have inboxes yet.

◉ New characters also do not have access to the internet until their ID is setup. They only have limited access because they're present in the safehouse, but they can't surf the rest of the internet, check out Cooltalk, or watch the equivalent of Netflix until their ID is made.

◉ New characters cannot leave the safehouse at this time. The hatch is locked tight for them, making it impossible for them to get out for the next four days while they're locked inside. There won't be any immediately obvious ways to cut their way out through turning off the power, either. Time to sit tight.

◉ New characters will not be allowed to leave the safehouse until AUGUST 27, 2512 (JANUARY 23, 2020). These 4 days are for them to adjust, learn about the world they've arrived in from their fellows, and for El to speak with them and work on setting up their IDs.

> FINAL OOC NOTES

Welcome to Meadowlark, newbies! You're now free to post to the network and log comms. To reiterate, your characters will have no IDs or inboxes, nor be allowed to roam free once they enter the safehouse. Meaning: they'll have to sit tight until August 27, 2512 ICly.

All characters will appear as @anonymous on the network. While sitting tight in the safehouse, it's expected that they'll have gotten a good idea of their new situation from their fellow characters, and will have discussed their background and job potentials with El in order for their false IDs to be set up.

If you have any questions or ideas about how you'd like to get your character involved in the world, please head over to the plot engagement post and drop us a comment!

For questions pertaining to this log (and because we accidentally forgot to drop a questions header here, our bad!), please refer to our questions thread on the OOC post.

The January CR meme for the month is here.

Please check out our Event #011 Wrap Up Post for a rundown of all of the changes brought about through the AU, as well as any world changes that will be apparent moving forward.

As we announced on the wrap up post, AC will remain halved until at least June 2021. That said, for the month of January, we're making things check-in only because of the state of the world.

Finally, we'll be back to our standard planned calendar and AC (halved, just to be clear) on February 1, 2021. Reserves will open on January 23, 2021.

> NAVIGATION

Comments

01 ;

[livrer]

[ Booker isn't following her, nope. If he just so happens to be walking in the same direction as she is, that's just good old coincidence.

He's still getting himself readjusted to this world, being back in clothes with worn hems and awkwardly fitting angles. He also feels the weight of his betrayal again, the heaviness of it much-deserved of course, but he has all these new memories too, and they don't make any sense.

Particularly the ones he has of Andy. ]

You know — [ He allows his voice to carry his comment even while maintaining a distance, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, fingers clutching the flask on one side, a nice silver one he'd picked up not so long ago. ] — drinking alone is more my thing.

[scythias]

Well, you've always been a bad influence.

( she says it kindly though. he's a bad influence but she likes his kind of bad influence. she likes how he makes her feel when he's around and she'd hated when he'd been gone.

which makes her behavior and her inability to see through it in that...other place all the more infuriating. )

Guess I'm going in for a new hobby now. It's not knitting but it'll do.

[livrer]

[ Being here in this new world might have its downsides, but being around his family again, being around Andy ... he really couldn't describe how grateful he is for it. When they'd left each other by the river, he'd felt his heart crack a little knowing he might really never see Andy again, even when she tried to reassure him.

Have a little faith, Book.

No skewed memories in an alternate timeline could change that. ]

I couldn't imagine you knitting anyway. What would you make? Un petit chapeau?

[ He dares to quicken his pace, closing the distance between them until he's just a pace or two behind her instead of a half-block. ]

But this ... it might not be the right new hobby either.

[scythias]

I'll make a poncho for Joe.

( because joe's the only one who could wear a poncho and not look absolutely ridiculous.

behind her, she hears booker picking up the pace to get closer but she doesn't slow or stop. she sighs, unable to really figure out what to say. )

This is at least something I know. I'm not too bad at it either.

[livrer]

[ Booker chuckles, imagining Joe in a poncho and being a little irritated that out of all of them, he really is the only one who could pull it off without looking utterly stupid.

Nile too, maybe. She'd find a way to make it look cool. ]

At drinking? Or drinking alone? [ He doesn't expect her to slow her pace or wait for him, but he doesn't mind. ] Perhaps we might find ourselves drinking alone in the same place tonight.

[scythias]

Then, I wouldn't be drinking alone, would I?

( but there's nothing heated or argumentative in her tone. she doesn't know how good of company she's going to be and she knows that if she wanted to, she could convince booker to leave her alone.

but maybe deep down she doesn't want to be alone. )

Why are you planning on drinking alone? Everything okay?

( she doesn't want to talk about her, of course. )

[livrer]

Semantics.

[ Booker waves a hand.

What he's trying to say is, he isn't planning to leave her side and if she wants to drink alone, well, so be it. As long as she's ready to sit next to some French guy also drinking alone, the silly point would still stand.

But he shakes his head anyway. ]

Didn't we establish that I am a regular participant of drinking alone? This is just a normal Thursday evening for me.

[ It's a lie, of course. There is a lot not okay, but this is not about him — for once. ]

[scythias]

( she kind of like the french guy that drinks alone, if he hasn't noticed. even when she's feeling full of self loathing and hate, she'd still try and tell him that. )

Booker, you don't have to keep an eye on me.

( he will deny it but she knows that's what he's doing. )

All I'm going to do is drink until I pass out.

( totally normal! )

[livrer]

I'm not.

[ Yes, he's denying it knowing full well that Andy doesn't believe him.

He exhales a huff of a breath, deciding it was better to come right out and say the thing, confront the elephant, because they could beat around the lonely-drinking-bush for however long they had left in this ridiculous world. ]

You aren't going to try to run away? Or avoid me or the others?

[ Let's not forget, those are also Booker specialties. ]

[scythias]

( her lack of answer is probably all the answer he needs. she had thought of distancing herself which was another name for run away, she knows.

she sighs, shoulders slumping. )

I wasn't planning on staying gone.

( in case he was worried. )

[livrer]

[ Booker hums a sound to fill the silence of her lack of an answer, nodding.

Yep. He knew it. ]

You were not her, you know. [ In the Aerie, because if they're going to keep talking about this, he needs her to know this. Maybe she needs to hear the words out loud to make it real and not inside her head. ] Just like I — I wasn't him either.

[ Of course he's going to worry. Even knowing Andy is more than capable of killing a thousand men single-handedly, with nothing more than a rubber band and a thumbtack, he is always going to worry. That, he knows now, is what family does. ]

[scythias]

You can say that all you want. That doesn't mean I'm going to be able to...just let it go. Can you?

( she didn't know much of what booker had done there, in that other place, so she wonders if he has any regrets about what happened.

andy runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head. she can't just accept that she was different. )

And it doesn't change what I did either. It won't ever change it.

[livrer]

[ Slowly: ] I can't, but I've never been known to let anything go.

[ That's generally an agreed-upon consensus that it's also a large part of the problem that is Sébastien le Livre.

And never mind that he's a complete and utter hypocrite either, because sometimes it really is a 'do as I say, not as I do' situation. He just doesn't want Andy to feel like she needs to retreat from her family for something that was a dream or nightmare. ]

Your beating yourself up over it won't change it either. Our feelings about you haven't changed. You're still our boss, still family, and the Aerie wasn't real.

[ Even if the small little inked bird still remains burned into his skin, a contradiction to his words. ]

[scythias]

I appreciate what you're trying to do, Booker, but it was real enough for me. I remember what happened. I have those memories and I'm always going to have them.

( and no matter if that hadn't been her, it had been some part of her. )

You can't stand there and tell me you think it wasn't completely you. You can't believe that you were totally separate from that version of yourself.

[livrer]

And you think part of that alternate Andromache is in you?

[ Really? ]

I would think recent events from home were proof enough that you have done more for the world than all of humanity is even aware of. But I don't need to lecture you and I don't have Copley's materials.

[ What she asks does resonate with him, though. In ways that make him uncomfortable, he believes that they likely followed their own trajectory going in opposite directions. Andy's real self is a better woman than the one in the Aerie, that much is obvious. But the man Booker had been in the Aerie ... it's complicated for him, because he feels like he came out of that alternate world as the lesser. He was a better man in that reality than he is here and that's ... something to think about.

He sighs. ]

At the very least, let me drink with you, huh? We can even sit in silence if you prefer it.

[scythias]

( she doesn't want to drag him down into her mood especially if he's feeling better but she has to admit that she doesn't want to be alone either.

so, after a moment she nods and gestures him closer. she's not going to answer the questions just yet but he can drink with her. )

I'd think you'd have better things to do, Booker.

( rather than keep her company. )

[livrer]

[ Booker laughs softly, moving to join her now. ]

Well, crochet has really never been my thing and I'm not making Joe a poncho. Drinking, however —

[ There really is no other place for him to be right now, except by her side; she knows that just as well as he does. He isn't exactly working any jobs, he isn't the 'social' type, and he is (despite recent mistakes) endlessly loyal to Andy.

He's got nowhere else to be, and there's a bar up ahead. It's like destiny. ]

Come on, boss. [ The term of endearment, and an acknowledgement of her leadership, is one he hasn't used it since ... well. It almost makes him hesitate, like maybe he's crossed some boundary, but it comes out without thought. Like a reflex. ] Ah — let's go drink.

[scythias]

Fine.

( he's not going to let this go and she knows it so she gives in. if it were anyone else, she'd continue to resist and push him away but booker has a way of getting underneath her skin and pushing through those walls.

her shoulders ease and she sighs, nodding. she doesn't say anything else until she pushes into the bar and finds them a quiet booth in a corner away from everyone.

with the drinks ordered, she taps her fingers against the table and peers at him. )

You okay?

[livrer]

[ There are very few things Booker gets a little relentless about. His family is one of those things.

But as he settles into his seat, drinks ordered, he hesitates to respond, like he's got to choose his words carefully.

And who knows? Maybe he does. ]

Am I ever okay?

[ Honestly the question is too complicated to answer without specifying just what he should be 'okay' about. Ah, isn't it wonderful having such a difficult family member like him, Andy? Joe is so open with his emotions, no doubt much healthier when by comparison Booker keeps his bottled up tight and bursting at the seams. ]

[scythias]

I don't know.

( she says the word quietly, fixing booker with a look. she says it because there's still guilt that wants to manifest because of what happened, what he'd done. she still wants to carry some of that with her. and she wonders if she'd been more attentive, if this would have happened. )

Can you remember the last time you were okay?

( she's curious. )

[livrer]

[ Booker shakes his head, feeling a little shamed and embarrassed that the answer doesn't take long to form in his mind. It actually isn't hard to think of the last time he felt okay, but it had been because he wasn't even himself. ]

The answer isn't pretty and I don't feel good about it either.

[ Easy enough to feel nothing at all, to arguably feel okay, when you don't remember the mistakes you've made, the losses you've endured. Sébastien in the Aerie suffered, true, but he still lived a fairly good life through it all.

Maybe that was the lesson, though. Somehow. ]

[scythias]

And yet, it's a question that people ask us all the time. And we answer. But, I can't remember either.

( sometimes, there are flashes of goodness, times when she feels happy but she doesn't know if she could classify that as feeling okay.

she sighs, rubbing a hand across her face. )

The most relief I've felt in awhile is when I knew this... ( she gestures her to herself. ) This was finite.

[livrer]

[ Booker doesn't mean to flinch when she says it, but he does — just a little, because it's what pulled him into this whole mess in the first place. The span of their lives, the control of how long they had to live, how long they had until they could die, it was something Booker wanted so badly, he made the worst mistake of his many lives to figure something out.

And Andy was dying anyway. ]

You have a renewed sense of joie de vivre?

[ It's passed off like no big, edges dipped in humour, but it's hard not to feel the weight of his crimes, regardless. ]

[scythias]

I don't know if I'd go that far. You're not going to find me partying and doing things that are on my nonexistent bucket list.

( but it was good to know there was an end after so, so long. )

I'm not looking to die but... ( she doesn't know how to explain it. ) I'm tired.

( she's sure he knows that feeling well. )

[livrer]

[ Serenely: ] Ah, so no fluorescent glow bracelets and fish-nets, then?

[ No. Just because he knows and understands that feeling of exhaustion down to the very atomic structure making up his sad existence doesn't mean it has to sit well with him.

Especially not when it comes to Andy who has always been his rock, that reliable stability he could thrash his sadness upon, knowing she would always be there to commiserate and to be there when it got too bad. It's selfish and he knows that now, but it's scary to think there's an end with them now.

So: stupid jokes it is. ]

You must have something left that you wanted to do, even after all these years.