meadowlarklogs | (no subject)

Sounds like him. Wonder if there's even any pirate shit here.

[ Because who knows; maybe someone in this world already scooped it all up.

That's all pretty beside the point, though. She's upset and they're both just kind of falling into a pattern of deflecting now, so, ]

You sure you're okay?

Um.

[It's a stunning response, especially combined with the way she's suddenly fascinated by the bar top. As always, it's so tempting to lie—brush it off with a joke, say of course she is. But she can't really bring herself to lie to Amos.]

No.

[And maybe there's a waver in her voice there.]

But, um... I think I'll get there.

[ He looks down at her, the way she gets more distant now that he's gotten her to directly confront the actual situation at hand. It sounds like her words should be something encouraging or reassuring, but the waver in her voice isn't really helping there.

Amos takes a second to stare at the lack of anything interesting on the bar top, silent while he does so. After a moment, he looks back at Kyna. ]

So, I'm not good at these kinds of things, [ stating the obvious there, ] but you need to vent or complain or whatever, I am good at listening. Or if you just wanna talk about stupid shit. I'm good for that too. Whatever'll help you get there.

[That actually gets a laugh out of her—soft and a little strangled, but hey.]

I suck at it too. But you're already helping. Really. Maybe you're better at this shit than you think.

Yeah?

[ There's a modest surprise to his voice. Not that he's doubting her or anything, just, wasn't expecting that. ]

Well, shit, whatever works.

[ A beat as he considers for a moment and then figures, fuck it, reaching for another fry. If they're just gonna sit there. Might as well.

Chewing thoughtfully, ] Maybe it's 'cause we're both bad at it. Cancels each other out.

Maybe.

[She nudges the fries a bit closer to him, a silent invitation for him to eat as much as he wants.]

Or maybe you're just nice to be around.

[ He goes for another, then a drink because damn, it's a strong taste. He likes it, but it's different and something he's still gotta ease into.

Plus, it's a good excuse to absorb her words without having to reply right away. ]

Maybe. [ He's non-committal. Still gotta feel out that notion. ] Could say the same about you. Even if you're moping. [ A bit more of a teasing tone on the last thought. For moping, this really isn't all bad. ]

[Kyna bursts out laughing, giving him what she'd like to think is a savage elbow to his ribs. Considering her noodle arms, it's probably not all that painful.]

Shut up, asshole. You totally love hanging out with me.

[ He obliges her anyway, exhaling softly at the impact. First getting punched in the face in an alternate reality, now this. The abuse he takes.

He does smile when he turns back to her, though, small but genuine. ]

Yeah. You're a good person.

[Kyna's surprised by it—the sudden compliment and the smile, even though maybe she shouldn't be. Her own grin softens, head tilting.]

You are too, you know. I know you don't think you are, but... It's true.

[ Amos blinks, lips parting slightly to reply with his instinctual reaction - no, I'm really not - before thinking better of it. Kyna's seen more of him than most have. More of him than he knew about himself, really. So she might be onto something there, much as he still doesn't quite believe it.

Also, it wouldn't be productive. Especially not here and now. So he lets it drop, goes for another fry. It's easier.

When he turns back to her, his expression's a little more thoughtful than before. ] Just gonna have to try to keep that up, then. [ Not like it's any different from how he's been living his life.

And, more casually, gesturing back to the cheese-soaked container, ] You sure you're not gonna have any? It's your moping food.

[As though following an order, Kyna pops another fry into her mouth, chews, swallows. She's more interested in his reply, though, and isn't quite ready to drop it.]

I'm serious. You're always checking in on me and listening when I'm upset. And you're like... You know. You never judge me. It's...

[She appreciates it, maybe more than she can articulate, especially in her current state.]

Really, really nice.

[Well, she tried.]

[ Amos falls quiet, absorbing her words. It's his turn to stare blankly at the bar top for a moment. He can't really refute her. And it's not like he wants to argue, either. They just... don't add up to the full picture. Not quite.

When he looks back up at her, any trace of a smile is gone from his expression, but it's an open and honest one. ]

Thanks.

[ He wants to play it off like it's no big deal, but it clearly is, and they both know it. He's sincere in his response. Sometimes it's not so much what's said as much as how it's said. ]

Kinda what anyone should do, but yeah. I get what you mean. [ A beat. ] Glad I can be that kind of person for you.

[ It's not really a full acceptance of the idea of being a good person, but it's more than he usually thinks of himself. And it's nice, knowing he can have these kinds of relationships, get them right. Not like he's going to try to downplay that. ]

Yeah.

[It's clear that he's genuine, even if it's also clear he's not entirely comfortable with what she's saying. She's quiet for a second or two, mulling that over, not sure how to respond. When she plucks a loose thread from his sleeve, it's half casual affection, and half the sort of unnecessary thing she does when she's stalling to think.]

Does it bug you? When I say stuff like that about you?

Wouldn't say that.

[ Amos pays no mind to the way she reaches in on him, removes the loose thread. He's used to it by now. And there's still something nice about it.

He turns his attention back to his beer, taking a drink. His own chance at stalling before turning back to her. ]

Just not used to hearing it, I guess. Don't always know how to react. [ His expression softens. ] Doesn't mean you have to stop. Not if you think it's true. I just... ah. You know. You've been in my head, kinda.

[ Not exactly the most consistent of places, not when it comes to things like this. For lack of anything better to say he reaches out, gives her shoulder a squeeze, lets his hand rest there. It's not that her words are unwelcome, they're just foreign and odd, but that's on him, not her. No reason for Kyna to feel bad about it. ]

[She nods, wonders if she should touch his hand, but hesitates.]

Yeah, but... you're trying, right? Just like the rest of us are.

[ He pauses. Somehow it's never really occurred to him that other people are trying, too. That it doesn't just come naturally to everyone else, that he's not that much of an outlier. And maybe there's a partial truth to that.

Aside from absentmindedly rubbing his thumb lightly back and forth against her shoulder, Amos doesn't really move. ]

Yeah. Some of us just have to try harder than others.