meadowlarklogs | we lie for a living

[A real name, a sign of affirmed trust, even if Markus is not so naive to think it makes any of this simpler. But he chooses — as always, skewing towards the silver lining, wanting to give others the benefit of the doubt — to view this not as proof of lies having been tossed their way for months, but a step in the right direction. That they might eventually hem away all their differences, all the distrust, and become closer knit as a group when guided by trust and honesty.

And then Connor has to go and be childish about it.

It’s so purposeful, so petulant, so very petty, that Markus doesn’t know how to immediately salvage the moment that lies at their feet afterwards. He knows Connor has been agitated; he’s seen it in body language, heard it simmering beneath select wording. But if he’s tired of being lied to, tired of the discord (which is what Markus can only assume it must be), then why act this way when Bobbi only offers them the truth?

He can’t even say anything without potentially lighting a fire right beneath the powder keg, and maybe that’s purposeful, too. The thought makes him equal parts exasperated and frustrated; Markus pointedly stabs his plastic fork into the open box of his takeout, spearing noodles more fervently than necessary—]

…

[—and decides that his response to that will be no response at all, ignoring Connor’s remark, steamrolling right past it and looking at Bobbi the whole time.]

Thank you for telling us, Bobbi. Your trust isn’t misplaced, and maybe this means we’ll be able to work more closely with you and yours — without any false pretenses between us. I, for one, am glad for it.

[Apparently he can’t speak for other people in the room.]

[ the truth is that bobbi expected connor to take it better than he currently is, that she'd counted on his work as a police officer to make him understand the rationale behind what she's done. it only serves to highlight how little she really knows of most of the people here, how precarious it is to trust even just to this extent. she can't predict or control everything, that much she's always known.

so her gaze flickers to him, surprised, though all she says it: ] What made you choose Resnik?

[ but markus steamrolls right past connor's remark and after another brief moment of her eyes lingering on connor, bobbi turns to markus again with a small smile that's admittedly grateful. ]

Thank you. And I'd like that.

[ she lets out a soft breath. ] I hope you can believe me when I say that it was never the displaced I wanted to keep things from.

[ but secrets have a way of getting out and if she wants this to be an ace up her sleeve, their collective sleeve, she can't go around announcing it too clearly. ]

(it makes him feel better to be defiant, even if it's in a petty way. things have been piling up and up and it all seems to be teetering. having the illusion of control is better than having none at all — connor knows he chose this and the act of choosing to be irritated at all of this is comforting.

he'll feel the guilt later.)

We believe you. (and for everyone's benefit, he sincerely does.) I'll keep your secret for now, since you've been kind to Markus and I, but I'm not a spy; I don't lie to my friends.

[Markus has to take time to turn these replies over in his head. He believes her, as Connor had said, and the bit of lying to their friends— well. He’s certain a part of that retort is born from irritation, but he senses the earnestness embedded in the declaration, too.

Something of an impasse, then, wondering how to reconcile it. His eyes move to the other android, briefly, stiffly:]

That might be an issue moving forward, since keeping this information under wraps requires an on-going lie of omission.

[To feign ignorance. To not correct the oblivious whenever the name “Katelin” is used on the network or in-person. He glances sidelong at Bobbi again to confirm this, and to ask a second question.]

You mentioned trust. I want to know, out of curiosity, what we’ve done to earn it. Something like his isn’t merely handed out due to friendship alone.

[And Bobbi was closer to him than she was to Connor, making even that much a flimsy excuse.]

[ bobbi inclines her head to acknowledge that point. it does require an on-going lie of omission. ] I know I'm asking a lot. [ a beat. briefly, her lips twist into a small smile, not exactly humorous. ] And if you don't believe it's worth it, I'm listening.

[ she still thinks having a potential ace up their collective sleeve is worth the lie, but it's not an absolute. ]

As for the trust. [ she shrugs a little. ] It's not one thing you've done so much as me feeling like I have a decent sense of who you are. [ maybe that's revealing too much about herself in the process, but it's entirely honest for once ]

I respect those men. [ the ones she thinks they are. the ones she's reasonably sure still she is right about. ]

It's not a lot, but — and I mean this as respectfully as I can — I think it's pointless to hide your real name in this place, for many different reasons. (connor pushes his utensil deeper into his noodles and twists them idly, looking from markus to bobbi.) A name isn't where your abilities come from and no one will mind that you're a spy.

How do you think it'd come into use in the future? I'd like to hear everyone's opinion.

(she'd get gunned down with or without it, that's what he's sure of. it'd be better to have the trust of the entire collective and make strong allies of them all; that's the ace up the sleeve they should all be focusing on. bonding, becoming tight knit, strength in numbers.

not whatever this is.)

You're right to trust Markus and I, but this is a lie that has no basis.

[Markus isn’t certain, really, what his own opinion has to do with anything. When it’s Bobbi’s choice to have made, his own insight means little, one person's intentions and reasoning not exactly applying the same way in another’s mind.

But Connor, as always, seems concerned with the logic behind it. Likely a question put forth by lingering irritation, wanting to question and challenge the reasoning behind the lie to begin with — that's what Markus thinks, anyway.]

I assume to mislead people from her world that might arrive, especially those that would recognize her real name.

[It’s where the reasoning leads him, at any rate, but he sure isn't a spy or an agent. But all he can do is look to Bobbi for confirmation.]

[ it isn't anyone's choice but hers, but she's aware that her reasons for hiding her name and her abilities (the latter more than the former) are a long shot. she's betting on a possibility —one that she doesn't know how the likelihood of because there are so many things up in the air. ]

I don't think I know nearly enough about who or what brought us here and to what end to know for sure.

[ that's kind of the problem, isn't it? ] But if someone's responsible, chances are good they don't know who I am, what I can do. [ she's a spy, she lies for a living. her civilian aliases are out there for anyone to find; bobbi morse the shield agent is not a known entity outside of shield.

more than most shield agent, bobbi excels at undercover work and it's how she's been deployed most often. ] Say we have to fight them. Say they bring us back in.

[ her shoulders draw up for a moment, a shrug. ] The element of surprise could give us the edge we need to get out.

[ a long shot, like she'd said. far less certain than what markus is thinking. ]

we lie for a living

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