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meadowlarklogs2019-10-07 01:20 pm
strove) wrote in meadowlarklogs2019-10-07 01:20 pm
[open log] i don't care about the mess you made
WHO: Clarke Griffin, Riku, and Goro Akechi + anyone who wants to do some dreams or other stuff
WHERE: Dreams, New Amsterdam.
WHEN: Month of January IC!
WHAT: Dreams, memory shares, etc. General open log things.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation for Akechi and Clarke (respectively).
Of course, thematically they're different:]
riku: mistakes of the past, worries of the present
[These days, Riku is more or less at peace with himself. Once, his dreams were mercurial and lacked control. They showed his worry about strength. Power. And at times, Darkness—the Darkness that reigned over his life, that acted as a threat. These days, that Darkness is as much a part of him as anything: trapped in his heart, a constant in motion. A part of who he is.
But there are themes and motifs that reoccur. Friends fading away. The danger of thinking too much, even if the thoughts don't string together. A friend slipping, falling into a wave of Darkness. More recently: images of his home falling apart, of New Amsterdam falling to the same ruin, crashed into by a wave of dangerous Darkness.
And of friends dying. Of not being able to do enough. Of the struggle of having to accept that they will do as they do, even if he can't do nothing. His hands always tied, forced to be idle, passive. Accepting that, too.
There is always a push for logic against even the most irrational of thoughts. Always.]
clarke: guilt, the lives she's taken, a peaceful interlude
[Many of Clarke's dreams take place separate from what would be her mindscape. Her dreams are of green: sprawling trees with a beautiful, forested canopy. A bright sun overhead, though sometimes there are two. But in the horizon, there may or may not be ruin: ruins of a city that managed to come together in the aftermath of an apocalypse, or ruins of a world, covered in dirt and sand, and strange creatures that burrow into the ground and can dig into someone's skin. She doesn't dream of those creatures, not often.
When she can, Clarke dreams of what could be: a life in this area of rich, fertile environment. A time with her daughter, her mother, her friends. Bellamy is there when he can be, but during times of strife, it seems she has a hard time facing him. (This Bellamy is older, with facial hair and a calmer expression. Like he knows to keep what he can inside.)
When there are people present, there is always a pressure. Of being boxed in, of being the one to find the solutions. Clarke always feels as if her answers are the wrong answers, and they show here. But there is no resentment toward the many, many people in her life: angry, making demands. Just an acceptance. Clarke doesn't feel as if they're wrong to ask so much of her. Besides, she put herself in that position to ask to make those decisions.
After all, she is a mother. A leader. But also: a tumor. A cancer. These days, Clarke doesn't let those thoughts creep up, but in dreams, who can say?]
akechi: wasted potential, what could have been
[Akechi doesn't dream of exact moments or of exact places: he dreams of the settings he likes, with drawn out, complicated scenarios where he's called upon to solve a problem. Solve any problem. Because he is someone who came into his power at an age when he was already embittered by the world, embroiled in hatred for everything around him. His mother committed suicide when he was young, and he was forced to be passed from home to home, a blemish upon his family and upon the world. An illegitimate child and a problem. Rather than choosing to overcome these notions, Akechi internalized them, took them to heart.
His dreams reflect this: colored often in blacks and reds, with Akechi moving alone, carrying every purpose that he believes that only he can accomplish. His dreams are a sign of how he deluded himself: believing that his long term plans would become something at some point.
He is extremely intelligent, and his dreams show it: with him trying to make logic out of nothing, out of the world around him. He seems to be at odds with it, caught between a sense of justice (inherently emotional) and a world out of order, one that's inevitably going to be that way no matter what.
If Akechi's gambit had paid off—if he had been aware that he was a part of a game with a gambit in motion—his view of the world would've taken hold. It would've fallen into disarray, granting control to a single deity because people are inherently messed up. At the heart of his dreams, this is a singular, notable truth. It's just one that's at odds with what Akechi really wants: to be praised, loved, and seen as less than a blemish and more that someone who can accomplish things. He just hasn't admitted as much to himself.]
ooc notes
[The general overview here is to give people an idea of what my characters' dreams would contain. This is an open log, and you can request a starter hitting on one of the notes above! I'll also be posting closed requested starters below. I'm also open to memory sharing or characters just catching up, though the former may need to come along organically (as none of my three know it's on the table).
If you'd like to discuss further, hit me up on plurk @ medieval or on discord at alison#8996.]
WHERE: Dreams, New Amsterdam.
WHEN: Month of January IC!
WHAT: Dreams, memory shares, etc. General open log things.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation for Akechi and Clarke (respectively).
Of course, thematically they're different:]
riku: mistakes of the past, worries of the present
[These days, Riku is more or less at peace with himself. Once, his dreams were mercurial and lacked control. They showed his worry about strength. Power. And at times, Darkness—the Darkness that reigned over his life, that acted as a threat. These days, that Darkness is as much a part of him as anything: trapped in his heart, a constant in motion. A part of who he is.
But there are themes and motifs that reoccur. Friends fading away. The danger of thinking too much, even if the thoughts don't string together. A friend slipping, falling into a wave of Darkness. More recently: images of his home falling apart, of New Amsterdam falling to the same ruin, crashed into by a wave of dangerous Darkness.
And of friends dying. Of not being able to do enough. Of the struggle of having to accept that they will do as they do, even if he can't do nothing. His hands always tied, forced to be idle, passive. Accepting that, too.
There is always a push for logic against even the most irrational of thoughts. Always.]
clarke: guilt, the lives she's taken, a peaceful interlude
[Many of Clarke's dreams take place separate from what would be her mindscape. Her dreams are of green: sprawling trees with a beautiful, forested canopy. A bright sun overhead, though sometimes there are two. But in the horizon, there may or may not be ruin: ruins of a city that managed to come together in the aftermath of an apocalypse, or ruins of a world, covered in dirt and sand, and strange creatures that burrow into the ground and can dig into someone's skin. She doesn't dream of those creatures, not often.
When she can, Clarke dreams of what could be: a life in this area of rich, fertile environment. A time with her daughter, her mother, her friends. Bellamy is there when he can be, but during times of strife, it seems she has a hard time facing him. (This Bellamy is older, with facial hair and a calmer expression. Like he knows to keep what he can inside.)
When there are people present, there is always a pressure. Of being boxed in, of being the one to find the solutions. Clarke always feels as if her answers are the wrong answers, and they show here. But there is no resentment toward the many, many people in her life: angry, making demands. Just an acceptance. Clarke doesn't feel as if they're wrong to ask so much of her. Besides, she put herself in that position to ask to make those decisions.
After all, she is a mother. A leader. But also: a tumor. A cancer. These days, Clarke doesn't let those thoughts creep up, but in dreams, who can say?]
akechi: wasted potential, what could have been
[Akechi doesn't dream of exact moments or of exact places: he dreams of the settings he likes, with drawn out, complicated scenarios where he's called upon to solve a problem. Solve any problem. Because he is someone who came into his power at an age when he was already embittered by the world, embroiled in hatred for everything around him. His mother committed suicide when he was young, and he was forced to be passed from home to home, a blemish upon his family and upon the world. An illegitimate child and a problem. Rather than choosing to overcome these notions, Akechi internalized them, took them to heart.
His dreams reflect this: colored often in blacks and reds, with Akechi moving alone, carrying every purpose that he believes that only he can accomplish. His dreams are a sign of how he deluded himself: believing that his long term plans would become something at some point.
He is extremely intelligent, and his dreams show it: with him trying to make logic out of nothing, out of the world around him. He seems to be at odds with it, caught between a sense of justice (inherently emotional) and a world out of order, one that's inevitably going to be that way no matter what.
If Akechi's gambit had paid off—if he had been aware that he was a part of a game with a gambit in motion—his view of the world would've taken hold. It would've fallen into disarray, granting control to a single deity because people are inherently messed up. At the heart of his dreams, this is a singular, notable truth. It's just one that's at odds with what Akechi really wants: to be praised, loved, and seen as less than a blemish and more that someone who can accomplish things. He just hasn't admitted as much to himself.]
ooc notes
[The general overview here is to give people an idea of what my characters' dreams would contain. This is an open log, and you can request a starter hitting on one of the notes above! I'll also be posting closed requested starters below. I'm also open to memory sharing or characters just catching up, though the former may need to come along organically (as none of my three know it's on the table).
If you'd like to discuss further, hit me up on plurk @ medieval or on discord at alison#8996.]
diamonds waiting to be found [ closed to faith ]
He looks at Faith as if she belongs, though whether he recognizes her as a member of the Displaced won't be immediately clear.
What will be clear is this: they aren't in Kansas or New Amsterdam. Though the writing is seemingly immediately translated, it's obvious that they're somewhere in Japan. The setup of the office indicates as much.
After finishing up the phone call, the receptionist looks to Akechi and says,] You can be right up, Akechi-san. You and your associate. [Akechi turns to Faith and motions for her to follow him.
It seems as if he carries some weight here. Several men pass them at this point, pausing only for a second to nod at Akechi. They're discussing different experiments, as well as ways to change and control the cognition of the public. As they reach the elevator—was that always there?—they pause, muttering about how one politician or another isn't falling in line. They look back to Akechi with a great deal of meaning, as if they suspect that's why he's there.]
Ignore them. We have somewhere to be, don't we? [A pause.] And while I suspect this isn somehow related to our powers, I don't have your name.
no subject
[ This, she offers warily.
Looking around, it doesn't take a genius to guess she's out of place. But there's something nostalgic about it, and in the context of the dreamscape, that's easy to feel rolling off of her. Nostalgia. Regret. She can see shades of the mayor in this place, as if he might have occupied it in another life.
But more puzzling is that she knows it's not in English, yet she can read all the signage and understand all the people anyway. She isn't savvy enough to place it as Japan -- even with the late-night anime she's caught on cable in the motels. But she knows something about this is ... surreal. ]
Last time I did this, it wasn't with a stranger. [ It feels almost a violation of what she and Buffy share, to be sharing it with someone else now, but she at least knows to connect it to the blue light that way. It's a commonality -- pulling them together. ] You wanna tell me where we are?
no subject
Akechi does like a sharp contrast to how he's established himself, at any rate.]
We'll need to go up and meet with Masayoshi Shido's associates. They'll give us the information on where to begin. [He doesn't say that this will likely result in death.
Does she know it will?]
no subject
[ did he want to see something? remember something? she has to figure it's going somewhere, if he's so brisk and casual and business-like. faith finds it too easy to trust that others know better than she does what's going on when they seem this confident in their skin. ]
no subject
It never ends the same way. [A lot of it was left up to how Akechi wished to approach the situation. He was allowed some freedom.
And yet.]
However, after this stage, I've always worked alone. I'm curious to see what's changed. Can you blame me?
no subject
from what she can tell there's no way out of this. no harm in being along for the ride, and seeing if it gets him what he wants.
so she nods. ]
It's your head. [ what he wants to do with it is his business -- even if that means ascribing meaning to things she has doubts about. ] Lead the way.
no subject
I can guess what you're thinking. How a dream plays out has no basis in reality. It's purely psychological. All of that is true. But I'm curious about what my mind thinks about having a partner for this, especially one who immediately overlooked the implications of what it is we're here to do. The type of job we'll be asked to take. Unless you were already beyond grounded and indifferent, knowing that our targets could be little more than a figment of my imagination. Is that the case?
no subject
[ she doesn't disguise the way she balks at his probing. frankly, faith has never had to look at why she does the things she does, and she hates the idea of it. just like she'd resisted any inkling of self-awareness about her grief following the murder of the deputy mayor, she resists it now. she does not want to examine what he's asking about --
not least of all because it summons the specter of the mayor to think about it. she's taken jobs that would make people turn heads. who the hell is she to judge? but beyond that, she's also been aware of the nebulous, surreal nature of this the whole time. sometimes it's better to just go with the flow to get more information instead of fighting it. ]
no subject
Faith is due to find that out shortly.]
Forgive me for being curious about whether these dreams provided me with a worthwhile partner.
no subject
I know what kind of favors people ask for in places like this.
[ she gestures to the building around them. ]
And I know that it's not my business if you take it. That what you want to hear?
[ she makes it sound like she doesn't care about appeasing him -- but there's a hint there, the fact that she reaches for the question at all, that suggests an overeagerness to protest her investment in it. no. she does care. it doesn't matter that he's a stranger; faith aches for validation, and it's woven into the fiber of her every interaction. he's questioned her worthiness -- he never needed to. she's always questioning it, herself. ]
no subject
He hadn't invited her. He could tell her to go, but that need comes with its own leverage. He has nothing to gain from it.]
I see. It's not about what I want to hear. [Akechi doesn't go on.]
Once we're in there, you'll have to elaborate about your capabilities. There is some experimentation to be had, what with your subconscious running into mind. Though ... I have to admit, I wonder if the figures awaiting us will already know what you can do. Please, give them time to demonstrate whether they can. [If nothing else, they can see what about being Displaced brought them together. That's worthwhile. That's an element of control.
It's what he desperately needs at the moment.]
no subject
[ she turns fully to face him then, appalled and even angry. ]
I didn't sign up for experimentation.
[ it's so far outside of her grim expectations that she's ready to bolt, and it shows in the whites of her eyes. ]
no subject
[Hard to explain how this works when his knowledge of the cognitive world was already in place. Akechi recognizes his mistake.]
My word is meaningless. After all, I'm the type of person called in for jobs like these. But you can take it just the same.
no subject
[ like, he's already acknowledged that, but faith's level alarm DEMANDS REITERATING IT. she could not be less on board for body horror if she tried. she's already lost her slayer powers and isn't really sure if they're at full force back in this dream. and she already turned into a fucking dragon in zerzura. she's not here for any of this. ]
no subject
[Akechi won't beg her to stay. Yes, there is much to be learned here in this interaction and where they can take it. But he doesn't interact well with others or play nice enough to be able to convince her.
Plus, he's just not interested.]
no subject
and she wants to be brave, if being brave will give her answers. but she doesn't know true north. she doesn't know if it's valid to turn her back on what's ostensibly sketchy bullshit, or if she ought to stick it out, see where it leads. get what feels like answers while she's got 'em.
so faith does what she does best. she turns her back. looking conflicted, she heads for the door. ]
no subject
He does nothing to stop her, nothing to stall her.
Why would he ever seek out an ally willingly? Besides, his curiosity is all he has to offer. She has nothing to gain.]