strove: (they say bacon is the best)
thanks clarke ([personal profile] strove) wrote in [community profile] meadowlarklogs2019-10-07 01:20 pm

[open log] i don't care about the mess you made

WHO: Clarke Griffin, Riku, and Goro Akechi + anyone who wants to do some dreams or other stuff
WHERE: Dreams, New Amsterdam.
WHEN: Month of January IC!
WHAT: Dreams, memory shares, etc. General open log things.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation for Akechi and Clarke (respectively).

[Riku, Clarke, and Akechi couldn't be more different on the surface—but when it comes to dreams, to the control of the mind and the actions they take, the similarities come together. Oddly enough, each of them has some experience over this space. Riku, through being a Dreameater. Clarke, through Josephine taking over her body and through having to fight back against the sociopathic scientist. And Akechi through the metaverse, having to traverse it alone. That's not to say that they have special powers here: but control is something that will come more easily, as will lucidity.

Of course, thematically they're different:]


riku: mistakes of the past, worries of the present

[These days, Riku is more or less at peace with himself. Once, his dreams were mercurial and lacked control. They showed his worry about strength. Power. And at times, Darkness—the Darkness that reigned over his life, that acted as a threat. These days, that Darkness is as much a part of him as anything: trapped in his heart, a constant in motion. A part of who he is.

But there are themes and motifs that reoccur. Friends fading away. The danger of thinking too much, even if the thoughts don't string together. A friend slipping, falling into a wave of Darkness. More recently: images of his home falling apart, of New Amsterdam falling to the same ruin, crashed into by a wave of dangerous Darkness.

And of friends dying. Of not being able to do enough. Of the struggle of having to accept that they will do as they do, even if he can't do nothing. His hands always tied, forced to be idle, passive. Accepting that, too.

There is always a push for logic against even the most irrational of thoughts. Always.]


clarke: guilt, the lives she's taken, a peaceful interlude

[Many of Clarke's dreams take place separate from what would be her mindscape. Her dreams are of green: sprawling trees with a beautiful, forested canopy. A bright sun overhead, though sometimes there are two. But in the horizon, there may or may not be ruin: ruins of a city that managed to come together in the aftermath of an apocalypse, or ruins of a world, covered in dirt and sand, and strange creatures that burrow into the ground and can dig into someone's skin. She doesn't dream of those creatures, not often.

When she can, Clarke dreams of what could be: a life in this area of rich, fertile environment. A time with her daughter, her mother, her friends. Bellamy is there when he can be, but during times of strife, it seems she has a hard time facing him. (This Bellamy is older, with facial hair and a calmer expression. Like he knows to keep what he can inside.)

When there are people present, there is always a pressure. Of being boxed in, of being the one to find the solutions. Clarke always feels as if her answers are the wrong answers, and they show here. But there is no resentment toward the many, many people in her life: angry, making demands. Just an acceptance. Clarke doesn't feel as if they're wrong to ask so much of her. Besides, she put herself in that position to ask to make those decisions.

After all, she is a mother. A leader. But also: a tumor. A cancer. These days, Clarke doesn't let those thoughts creep up, but in dreams, who can say?]


akechi: wasted potential, what could have been

[Akechi doesn't dream of exact moments or of exact places: he dreams of the settings he likes, with drawn out, complicated scenarios where he's called upon to solve a problem. Solve any problem. Because he is someone who came into his power at an age when he was already embittered by the world, embroiled in hatred for everything around him. His mother committed suicide when he was young, and he was forced to be passed from home to home, a blemish upon his family and upon the world. An illegitimate child and a problem. Rather than choosing to overcome these notions, Akechi internalized them, took them to heart.

His dreams reflect this: colored often in blacks and reds, with Akechi moving alone, carrying every purpose that he believes that only he can accomplish. His dreams are a sign of how he deluded himself: believing that his long term plans would become something at some point.

He is extremely intelligent, and his dreams show it: with him trying to make logic out of nothing, out of the world around him. He seems to be at odds with it, caught between a sense of justice (inherently emotional) and a world out of order, one that's inevitably going to be that way no matter what.

If Akechi's gambit had paid off—if he had been aware that he was a part of a game with a gambit in motion—his view of the world would've taken hold. It would've fallen into disarray, granting control to a single deity because people are inherently messed up. At the heart of his dreams, this is a singular, notable truth. It's just one that's at odds with what Akechi really wants: to be praised, loved, and seen as less than a blemish and more that someone who can accomplish things. He just hasn't admitted as much to himself.]


ooc notes

[The general overview here is to give people an idea of what my characters' dreams would contain. This is an open log, and you can request a starter hitting on one of the notes above! I'll also be posting closed requested starters below. I'm also open to memory sharing or characters just catching up, though the former may need to come along organically (as none of my three know it's on the table).

If you'd like to discuss further, hit me up on plurk @ medieval or on discord at alison#8996.]
realists: (ro » conversation)

[personal profile] realists 2019-10-11 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ there's loads of populated moons in space, either by virtue of circling a gas giant or because the planet itself is otherwise inhospitable. like jupiter! jupiter is stupid but so many of the moons could be successfully terraformed and-- no. jyn isn't going to hijack clarke's dream with her pet peeve. ]

Gods.

[ she makes a face, clarke knows her thoughts on people who think they are gods. ]

The Primes. Bit self-aggrandizing, but s'ppose if they think they're gods that would be their thing.
realists: (au » tilted)

[personal profile] realists 2019-10-17 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ jyn is so stubborn she died for her galaxy rather than admit defeat, she and clarke are never going to see eye to eye on this, ever. ]

Why do you keep trying to make me believe in them?

[ she'll get back to the primes in a second. ]
realists: (au » expectant)

[personal profile] realists 2019-10-26 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ jyn truly can't articulate why she recoils from the ideas of gods. her mother had such faith that she abandoned her eight year old daughter in the firm belief that they would see each other again in the force. (and maybe they would have, but jyn's peace was stolen from her.) chirrut and baze believed so much they became guardians but their belief was in the force itself.]

I don't need to accept seven higher powers-- [ yes, she read the post. ] --to look into what brought us here.
realists: (ro » one fear!)

[personal profile] realists 2019-11-13 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not...

[ she sighs, tired of what seems like an endless parade of people wanting her to go along with something she doesn't believe in. it isn't endless, it isn't even very many people, but rey seems desperate for jyn to believe in people she doesn't even know, will never get a chance to know, at the expense of people she does know, that clarke trying to get her to believe in gods, however gently, only serves to pluck at already frayed nerves jyn has been trying to keep under wraps. ]

I can't, Clarke. I know you want me to and I wish I could do that for you, but I--

[ it took her 22 years and dying to find some faith in the force, she is too resistant to make her way to clarke's view on this. ]

I'd rather put my faith in people.
realists: (ro » pinched)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-01 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ clarke is right, jyn is aware enough of that. they're having this argument in the middle of a dream and jyn can recognize that she is putting a whole other clusterfuck of a galaxy and argument on clarke's shoulders.

but knowing it and not doing it are two different things. she isn't good at talking, she never has been. with a sigh, jyn scrubs her hands over her face, hating that clarke nailed why she is struggling so much. it's everything she carried before, cut short from her closure by being shoved on this dirt planet. ]


I don't know! I don't... know. [ she had the end of her story, adjusting is still, obviously, a work in progress. ]
realists: (ro » can you not?)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-02 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ it takes her a handful of moments to rein in her emotions, over the past few months she has let herself have emotions and it is making it much harder to shove them down as a consequence. is it worth it? she is undecided.

she doesn't apologize, as a general rule, but there is a definite sheepishness to her posture, expression chagrined and she doesn't put much effort into keeping it from clarke. ]


Okay. [ a beat, softer: ] I was with you from the start anyway.

[ gods or higher powers or whatever they end up calling these resources weren't going to stop jyn from being on Team Clarke. ]
realists: (ro » accepting)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-03 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
I trust you.

[ her eyes cut over clarke's shoulder to where madi is still inexpertly playing with her peers. she looks like a fast learner and jyn smiles reflexively, however small a smile it may be. clarke wants a place for her family and jyn understands that need to belong somewhere, safely. ]

I get it. [ she nods again, affirming. ] If it feels right, it feels right.
realists: (ro » friendship)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-05 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
You're a survivor.

[ it takes an adaptability to survive the way they have, the ability to reassess and change when need be instead of being so pigheaded and mulish that they push away any opinion that isn't their own. jyn and clarke have gotten there, some people haven't. ]

We'll figure it out. The gates, Northern America... Madi.

[ who knew a conversation atop a rubbish bin would lead to this. prompto would be proud of them. ]
realists: (ro » i hate talls)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-11 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
Everyone.

[ jyn isn't going to police.

unless krennic shows up with some batch of arrivals in which case everyone will get to watch jyn murder someone with her bare hands. krennic is barred. the same ban does not apply to clarke's people or daisy's people or anyone else who might want to stay and build a safe haven for their friends and family.

the only thing set in stone is that clarke has to be jyn's neighbor, that has been decided. ]


You're the first dream I've been in. [ hopefully the last, jyn was very uncomfortable having had daisy and illya reliving her nightmares. this is loads better but that doesn't mean she wants it to keep happening. ]
realists: (ro » solitude)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-13 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ someone she lost, from the sound of it. jyn touches her arm sympathetically. ]

Daisy was in one of mine. At the end.

[ jyn can throw around allusions to her own untimely death with strangers but it was impossible with daisy and it feels the same with clarke. it's harder to admit to someone she cares about and who she knows cares about her so she avoids, deflects. ]

Not particularly a fan of all this. I don't like sharing, if you hadn't noticed.

[ she might not have because jyn does actually share things with clarke. ]
realists: (ro » family)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-15 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ UGH CLARKE IS RIGHT AND IT'S DISGUSTING.

jyn has gone soft for a handful of people, letting snippets of her life out and feeling understood in turn. she hasn't been as discerning as she was in her former life, which had backfired the one time because jyn is ignorant to her own future, but aside from that fleeting lapse in judgment trusting her tiny group of friends hasn't been such a terrible experience. ]


I have a weakness for blondes.

[ liar, her physical type is set in stone. clarke hits all her emotional types to a t, however, and jyn knows it. somehow she always find the idealistic, rebellious types who wear grief and guilt like a bespoke jacket, leaders that can't be broken down no matter how hard the universe tries, desperate to find peace even if they think they themselves don't deserve it.

a massive animal stifles any more flippant lies that may cross jyn's lips, barreling past the playing children, fat and bald like an enormous baby, purple-grey skin glistening in the sunlight before it simply vanishes into a house as if it was running home for dinner. ]


A hippopotamus. [ she says it, eyes alight with wonder, like it is a foreign word. it is, frankly, she only recognizes it from her trips to the vr zoo. ] Sanctum has hippopotamus?
realists: (ro » little sister)

[personal profile] realists 2019-12-15 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ jyn's so resistant to emotions that even her sleeping brain will fight against being wholly seen and interrupt with all the grace jyn also lacks almost entirely. sanctum would look much better to jyn if it had hippos. the worst part of all the cities she has been to so far has been the utter lack of nature and wildlife, she misses it. clarke knows this about her too. ]

Maybe they have hippopotamus in North America.

[ would that be a selling feature for anyone but jyn? probably not.

surprisingly unwilling to let the moment go, despite the enormous and beautiful interloper, jyn shifts to clarke's side, bumping her hip, same small smile still playing at her lips. it is a smile reserved for very few. ]


Will you introduce me to Madi?

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