meadowlarklogs | We're talking away I don't know what I'm to say

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We're talking away I don't know what I'm to say

WHO: Quentin Coldwater + You!
WHERE: Red Wings + Dreamscapes + around
WHEN: March 15th-31st
WHAT: Catch-all! Quentin's memories and general hanging around.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mental illness, possible suicidal thoughts, character death, all will be marked! Spoilers for The Magicians season 4.

1. Red Wings, whenever

[Quentin is trying to come up with ideas to make Red Wings more popular, and he is still learning the ropes of how this particular city works in terms of PR and marketing. He's making some headway, it's just a process. He has always been better with social media and online interaction than in person, like any stereotypical Millenial. He can be spotted wandering around the place taking pictures; usually 'artistic' intended shots, making the pool table look cooler for example of a nice shot of the bar all stocked.

Outside of that off-hours, he is usually there because everyone else is, or if he's waiting for Eliot's shift to be over. He's fairly shy outside of the people he already knows, but he'll look up if someone comes in or says hello and flash a smile, eager to talk. Quentin doesn't like being alone, he's only not great at asking for company. Otherwise he'll be reading up on his neural interface and nursing a drink.

He can also be found playing pool, helping bust tables for the rest of the staff, cleaning off surfaces to be helpful.]

2. Mental Hospital Dream - TW for mental illness, possible suicidal thoughts

[It is a very drab looking place, the hospital. Everything is in subdued colors and people move like they're sleepwalking down the halls. Doctors in white coats and nurses in blue or purple scrubs walk around, gently assisting dazed individuals to their rooms or to the common room spaces. No matter what is asked of the nurses, they will reply with 'that is not permitted,' and occasionally continue on to say 'because you can harm yourself and others.' The most populated area is the game room where there are puzzles and games happening, but occasionally people do confusing things, shout, scream, or get ushered off by doctors.

There are groups sitting in a circle, their words all sounding nothing more than a strange humming, as if they're opening their mouths and talking but nothing is coming out. Quentin himself can be seen in the far corner, by the windows, a pack of cards in front of him. There are at least three packs of cards that are strewn about on the floor around him, covering the wood floors. He is in gray sweatpants and a shirt, dark hair long, eyes heavily circled with lack of sleep and general hopelessness.]

No, no, I'm telling you, I'm telling you. It's real. I did it. I did.

[His hands shaking, a little manic, he takes the cards out and shuffles them, his fingers moving fast and intently. He either is talking to no one, himself, or whoever is nearby.]

Watch. [Quentin abruptly throws the cards, and for a second, a long beat, they freeze in the air. They hover and stay, and then all of a sudden crash to the floor. It was a miss it and blink moment. He swears and goes to the ground, trying to pick them all up.] No, I can do it, it works, I'm not crazy.

3. Fillory Love Shack Dream

[It's a very peaceful and simple spot in a pastoral type of clearing. A patch of land with a small modest hut, laundry line, a bed outside, and most importantly a large square white space with a stack of multi-colored tiles that all put together can fill up the space. About half of them are already in the mosaic, the rest nearby. The rest of the space seems designed to fit around this square, as if it's all that matters.

A slightly older Quentin can be found sorting the tiles, his hair long and held back in a ponytail. Nearby on the bed a boy of about five or six is sleeping, a blanket pulled up to his chin. Quentin frowns and sets one down that he was working on, adjusting the wedding ring on his finger. He glances up when he senses someone nearby.]

Want to give it a try? It's supposed to reflect the beauty of all life in a bunch of tiles. [He reaches down to pick up a nearby basket.] Peach or plum?

4. Mirror World Dream - TW for Death

[The Mirror World feels unsteady the moment you exist in it. It's in grays and black and whites, it feels unnatural, upside down. Even people used to feeling in control might sense something wrong in this place. Its hallways are long and all in confusing gray tones. It seems quiet, until a scream pierces the air. The scream of someone who is about to watch someone they love die and there's nothing they can do.

No, Alice screams, as Penny pulls her away. It's too late and some part of her knows that, but she can't help her denial. In the hallway, Penny pulls Alice in what appears to be slow motions out into it, her fighting the entire way, and the room inside was once large and beautiful with a very large mirror.

All movement seems to be slowed down to a fraction. The mirror mends, the man diving toward it dies, and the room explodes into eerily beautiful sparks of light. They are blinding as they shimmer throughout the room. Quentin is turned toward Alice and Penny as they escape and then he is torn apart by the light until nothing remains. The room freezes. It rewinds. It starts the memory over. Every time Quentin repeats the action that leads to his death, but if anyone else tries to get in the middle, it all will freeze in time at once. ]

5. Wildcard

[ooc: grab him on the street or somewhere else you want him to be, or message me at waftingcurtains on plurk to talk]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know a lot of those sleight-of-hand tricks, they're really fun once you get them down.

( Quentin's pretty bad at deceiving, until it comes to magic, tricks, games, cards, the sort of things where deceit is for fun. He's an expert fake magician, but he still hasn't reached mastery of the real magic. And now he never will, because he's here without it. )

Was all this really hard to deal with, in the start, if it's not your usual thing?

( It's been confusing for him, but he is much closer to this in his reality than not. )

This place?

( he pauses, considering his answer. he remembers how difficult this place had been and how the only thing that had really helped was reaching out and asking for help. and that had been hard. he was not good at asking for help but he had to. )

This place was exceedingly difficult and it still is. I've been here for what seems like a year now and I still find things that I do not understand. So yes, it is hard.

(Quentin listens closely to him, seeing that he is the type of man to be very direct, and that's always appreciated. Q on the other hand can talk himself in circles, think himself in double as many circles, and only make partial sense when he opens his mouth. He nods as he listens. )

I'm pretty sure I'll be on the same boat a year from now too.

(He hopes not. He wants to get answers. He feels like he can get them, if he's aggressive enough and asks the right questions. Of course there's the question mark of whether or not he even should. Eliot isn't too happy about it, thinking he's just looking for trouble. )

Has anything helped make it easier?

Other people.

( which isn't easy to admit but it's true. he was completely and utterly baffled by this place when he'd arrived and only through help had he managed. )

I had to ask for help. It was not easy.

( Quentin's smile is instant and genuine, and his very soft heart can't help but warm at that sort of sentiment.)

I've already kind of slid onto the rah rah togetherness is the key mentality. I just ... don't really see how we get through this situation without it.

( They're all lost and stuck and on the same page that way, but Quentin's been mocked and told off before in the past about his Friendship is Magic kind of mentality. It's not all about being a cinnamon roll, he also wants to keep everyone alive. But if this guy was someone who wasn't used to asking for help but did, it's a good sign. )

Is it easier now? To ask for help?

Somewhat.

( it was easier to ask certain people, at least. he wasn't going to ask just anyone if he needed assistance but there were some he would do that with and for. )

I still do not think I would ask just anyone for help but I do have a few friends that I would allow myself to do that with. My preference will always be to work alone.

I only work alone well when it comes to playing cards. Any other time, I suck at it.

(The card playing should be fairly obvious as a loner activity. He likes playing with his friends, that's more casual, and he likes teaching them. But in a serious match focus is required and people are distracting. Quentin sighs and taps his fingers along the cue stick. )

I seriously miss paper. All paper. I know it's a small thing compared to what people get frustrated about us lacking here, but it's books are kind of my thing.

( Also rambling. Rambling is very much his thing. )

Do you think about going home often?

Yes.

( illya actually does not mind the rambling too much. he lives with a few people who do ramble when they want to and it saves him from having to talk, which is something he is very not good at. )

Not as much as I once did but I do think about it and I would like to go back at some point in time. I am in no rush but I left things unfinished and I would like to correct that before I decide what I want to do with my future.

It doesn't seem like we're able to choose that sort of thing right now.

( Quentin has no idea what he would do if the option was there. He can't go back. He also wouldn't go back solely to stop himself from dying because it would have ramifications. If he could pick to go somewhere else he likely would, but right now this is the only option he has.)

My boyfriend doesn't really want us to test fate, this is the only place we can be together.

( And Quentin is thankful for getting another lifetime together. They've done this before, the two of them. Starting over in a new world, accepting it might be the only one that matters to them after some time. )

Is that because he is from a different world than you are?

( he has seen that happen here many times. he himself is an example of that. he does not think he'd meet daisy anywhere else but here so staying here makes a lot of sense to be with her. )

Or are there other circumstances that mean you cannot be together?

( Quentin hesitates; it's not that he has any real reason to hide the situation he's in. He just hates coming off like he's putting a burden on someone else with the truth, but there's no reason to think that it would with anyone. He overthinks, that's all. )

Well .... ( He lets out a breath and shrugs. ) I'm dead. So this is my only chance at anything in general.

( Dead so young and tragically, but Quentin's accepted it. Easier than he probably should. )

You are?

( to his credit, illya doesn't sound surprised about that. quentin is not the first person that illy has met that's dead. it is an unfortunate circumstance but not an unfamiliar one. )

Then, you could definitely do worse than this place. I do not know if I could live here permanently but I have been here awhile and I am still alive.

I'm sure everyone waking up here is confused, but try dying and then being pretty sure this was the weirdest afterlife ever.

( It's a joke but it's also the truth. Quentin was pretty baffled when he woke up here and he isn't so arrogant as to think this is his mind creating something as it dies. He knows that other people here are dead back home so it wouldn't be a surprise to someone who's been here for awhile, but it's still new to him. )

This place isn't bad. It sucks not to see my friends again, but that would've been true back there too, so. ( Quentin shrugs. ) if you want to go home though, I'll cross my fingers for you.

Edited 2020-05-04 20:20 (UTC)

I do not know what I want to do right now.

( it is something he should really decide upon at some point considering he has been here awhile and he wants to hope he'll have the opportunity to go home at some point. )

But no, this place isn't so bad. It could be much, much worse.

Are there reasons you'd want to stay?

( Quentin knows why he and Eliot want to, and he assumes there are a few others like him who definitely cannot go home or have good reasons. He knows Klaus is dead. He thinks Godric is as well. But this guy seems to have reasons he might want to leave, so the question isn't about that, it's why not.)

I mean, if I was alive, I'd definitely want to go back.

I have someone here.

( so, a similar reason to quentin even though illya is not dead as far as he knows. )

She is from far in the future than I am so this will most likely be the only place I can be with her. If I go home, I will die before she is even born, I am sure.

Oh, yeah ... of course.

( Quentin understands, definitely. The two of them don't have to be dead in order for this to be the only place they can be together, unfortunately. Love across the multiverse is sort of doomed, as it would be from the dead to the living. He feels for Illya.)

That's really great, if you think about it. Like, it's romantic.

( He blushes slightly, since he speaks out of turn, but his rambling thoughts make sense eventually. )

I mean, throughout different times and universes you two have found each other and found love together, and that's hard for people to find even within their own time. It's like star-crossed lovers, only, um, hopefully, with a better ending.

I suppose.

( no, he agrees but he is not an easy man to get to admit to romantic notions like that. he's stodgy and russian and while he agrees that the luck of finding someone here who could tolerate him was special, it's not easy to say that out loud. )

Hopefully with a better ending. I do not know what the future holds especially as long as we are here. If we are here, anything could and probably will happen.

( up to and including someone dying or disappearing. )

If you could go to each other's worlds by choice, which do you think you'd prefer? Back to yours or to hers?

( Quentin's super curious. He hasn't met a couple here so far that only met and can't be together here. It's very romantic as he already said but also higher risk of tragedy. If he or El goes, it'll be terrible, but they did get to live an entire life together. He wonders what world he would pick to go to, if he had the option, since his is impossible. )

I think...hers would most likely be the better choice. She is a skilled person but I come from a time where women are still not as appreciated as they are in other places.

( she would have difficulty doing what she wanted to do because of attitudes that were prevalent. )

I would have a hard time in her world but I think I could adapt better.

That would be a real hard pill for someone to swallow, yeah.

( Quentin's caught on to Illya being from the past, from what he's saying. Not that the modern era is sooooo fantastic about appreciating women, but probably not as much. )

You adapted to this place, to being literally yoinked from your world into some weird sci-fi adventure, pretty sure you can adapt to most things. Is your accent Russian? I kind of assumed, but I've met people here who are like, not from Earth, but have Earth-sounding accents and it's weird.

It is Russian, yes. That is where I am from though I was in Rome when I was summarily deposited in this place.

( would he still be in rome if he ever went back? would he ever get that chance? )

From the sixties. So, this is still quite the change for me.

I'm from New Jersey originally, but I went to college and stuff in New York.

[Quentin saw New York as the big city, as his chance at greatness, and he did excel extremely well in his studies. It just seems like that was a few lifetimes ago, which in some ways, it definitely was.]

Oh, it's been awhile but ... [He clears his throat.]

I can speak Russian. I had good practice studying with Professor Mischa Mayakovsky, one of our best magicians.*

[One of Quentin's greatest strengths is in linguistics. He has an accent but decent pronunciation.]

[ooc: google translate is a butcher lol this seemed easier.]

Magician?

( he frowns at that, trying to parse if he'd heard incorrectly but no, he's sure this man said magician. )

Do you mean like pulling a rabbit out of the hat kind of magic?

( was there another kind? )

( Quentin's smile is fast and knowing; this is far from the first or last time that's the first thing people ask when he uses the term. )

No, well, I can do that too. It's what we call magic users in my world. Witches, warlocks, wizards, mages, those are all fine terms too.

( He's not one anymore, but he still feels like he can't lose that identity. Magic might be gone but it's still who he is, under the skin. )

I think people used magicians because the rest of the world isn't supposed to know magic is real, so you can talk about magicians in public with people thinking rabbit out of the hat, and not this person can open a black hole over my head.

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