had to have high hopes for a living —

[evite]

WHO: cassian andor (evasives), daisy johnson (evite), illya kuryakin (kgbs), & jyn erso (realists)
WHERE: the barbie dream house
WHEN: approximately october 31ish
WHAT: dinner? a movie? bickering? they're children.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: rated pg-13 for inappropriate language.

Comments

[evasives]

[ woah!! illya backstory!! it's like an achievement unlocked, level up via throwing ingredients into pots and pans. even as jyn idly just flips cassian off over her shoulder without even looking, maybe that's an achievement too. ]

We mostly had a lot of rations or instant packets. I always just learned to cook with what I had. [ maybe... maybe food really does create a bonding experience. ]

[ but he did learn to cook similarly to illya, only with access to something like a microwave too. it was something to do, something he had to learn when he was younger. limited supplies meant he had to get creative, so there's very little cassian can't do to try and make a meal a little more flavorful as much as he's used to eating bland. ]

[realists]

[ jyn is casually dropping every eave because tbh she doesn't... know a lot about cassian still, much less illya. this is all very interesting and she makes a face at daisy that illustrates as much, absently fiddling with her necklace.

jyn knows her way around some parts of the kitchen, she chooses not to cook.

idly, as an aside: ] Polystarch'll put you off toast for a week.

[ but only a week. ]

[evite]

[ quietly, daisy mutters back: ] I lived in a van. I'm pretty sure we all have our sob stories.

[ and then her attention goes right back to the pile of scrap metal in front of her. it takes actual effort to meld that into something usable, and since jyn's already outgrown the herb planter in the kitchen, daisy'd like to make something a little larger that can hang over the railing of their balcony. she's just having some difficulty with the more delicate aspects.

to the "GENTLEMEN" currently employed as house chefs, she offers a little louder: ] Do you two need to be alone for your date?

[kgbs]

[ illya rolls his eyes at the quip and shakes his head. ]

That is a good way to make sure we are the only ones who eat the food. [ if you left them alone, that is. ] Is our conversation not acceptable to you?

[ he sounds bemused. ] What would you like us to talk about while we cook?

[evite]

[ that's not a very good threat. ]

Jyn and I can go out to eat, okay. We're not completely helpless.

[ or are they? no. they are not. ]

[realists]

You can keep talking about what you're talking about.

[ ask cassian more about himself so jyn doesn't have to. this is great information building because she doesn't have to do any of the conversing. this is the dream. ]

[evasives]

About the terrible things we ate in our childhoods?

[ they could start a list. honestly there's probably some overlap. ]

It might ruin our appetites for tonight.

[kgbs]

My childhood was too long ago to remember that.

[ nonsense. he remembered nearly everything with a starling clarity. there were some things that he had made himself forget but that was different. ]

You are all much younger than I am.

[ he was so old. ]

[evite]

Okay, grandpa.

[ so old and so cranky. ]

How's Denise? [ d-nice? dennys? ] I'm surprised you didn't invite him over for dinner.

[realists]

[ first of all illya

fuck u.

second of all ]

Has he given you more sex cacti?

[kgbs]

[ he ignores daisy's insult. honestly, he's very used to those. he loves you too, sweetheart. ]

The what?

[ jyn's question actually makes him stop what he's doing and step out of the kitchen to stare at her. ]

That's not what they are.

[realists]

Not from you to me, sure. But why do you think he is giving them to you, Kuryakin?

[ she gestures idly from cassian's direction to illya's. ]

Cassian, tell him I'm right.

[evasives]

[ sex cacti. he almost laughs. but she's probably not... wrong. d-nice continues hoping his plants will surely win him a threesome one day. ]

[ cassian shrugs, because he won't disagree. ]

I suppose they could just be flirting cacti. [ flirting with a very explicit purpose in mind. ]

[kgbs]

They are just cacti. There is no ulterior motive behind them. You are all too paranoid.

[ he was moving out.

...after he finished this dinner. ]

They are just plants. [ they were. they absolutely were just stupid green plants that he was going to throw at people if they kept talking about sex plants. those two words did not go together. ]

[evasives]

Illya. [ this is a very serious matter so obviously his voice is grave. ]

No one gives out that many cacti without ulterior motive. [ cassian is paranoid af but sex cacti is true af. ] Why do you think he is giving you so many? The goodness of his heart?

[evite]

He has a crush on you both.

[ not daisy and jyn, though. they were spared the sex cacti hug of death. ]

You could do worse, honestly. I bet he's loaded.

[ futuristic sugar daddy!!! ]

[realists]

[ it would be rude to say i told you so ]

I told you so.

[kgbs]

[ he dismisses all of them with a sharp sound of disdain before reaching for a pot to start throwing everything together in. ]

Regardless, he can give me all the cacti he wants. He is not coming over for dinner.

[evite]

Let him take you out for dinner, then.

[ at least long enough for daisy & cassian to go snoop in his apartment ]

[evasives]

[ they had a whole conversation about this HOW DID ILLYA NOT REALIZE?? ]

As long as we are sure Illya will not accidentally agree to more than dinner.

[ having finished up the veggies, he passes them over at last. cooking must continue. ] He keeps wanting to know if you and I are married. Was I not clear before?

[realists]

He thinks you're married? Illya's not even your type!

[ she is AFFRONTED! AND REFUSES TO THINK ABOUT WHY! she can join illya on his ship in the nile. but at the same time, she glances at daisy. ]

I guess you and I really are dating.

[evite]

[ daisy just shrugs. she could do worse. jyn can still make her money in the fighting rings. ]

Cassian, what is your type?

[ asking for a friend ]

[kgbs]

I'm not married to anybody!

[ enjoy some angry under the breath russian muttering, cassian, since you were the closest to him. ]

Yes Cassian, tell them your type. Perhaps there is another neighbor in this ridiculously ostentatious building that would like to give you gnome figurines as a gesture of their affection.

[evasives]

We know that. D-Nice does not.

[ he can't believe he's doing all the work in this fake not!relationship for d-nice. he also can't believe they keep using the man's nickname instead of dennys. ]

[ but wow what the fuck is this turnaround, how dare they ask him about himself!! he shrugs off the question. ] I do not have a type. [ A BOLD FACED LIE. ] But at least I would be aware of why I am receiving any gnomes.

[evite]

That's bullshit. [ to both of them, for the record. ]

Half the people I work with think we're already married [ don't argue she's right ] and everyone has a type.

[ hers is tall men. among other things. ]