sweet vermouth, now you're telling me the truth —

[evite]

WHO: cassian andor (evasives), daisy johnson (evite), illya kuryakin (kgbs), & jyn erso (realists)
WHERE: the barbie dream house
WHEN: approximately november 12
WHAT: a game of "never have i ever".
NOTES OR WARNINGS: rated pg-13 for inappropriate language.

Comments

[evite]

[ cassian says some dumb shit that's probably half true and half evasive on purpose just to avoid the question, and daisy laughs. it's a dumb laugh, but she's also a dumbass who yeets into relationships that (historically) end badly. though... she's never shied away from making a move. so she drinks the rest of her glass (aka 80% of it), coughs, and then splutters out: ]

Illya lost at checkers and then I made him go down on me on his kitchen counters.

[ somebody's feeling it now for sure, wavering a bit even though she's sitting upright on the couch. ]

And now he won't have sushi with me ever again.

[ those two things are not related. ]

[realists]

If your vagina put him off sushi that's really concerning and you should see a doctor.

[ just.

saying. ]

[evite]

[ aggressively gestures at jyn like a drunken madwoman ]

No, the sushi [ the sushi!!!! ] is because of the alleyway and my hand on his dick.

[ emphatic nod. ]

[realists]

Ooh, two different... got it. [ drunk girls just know. if they were in the bathroom they'd be calling each other beautiful, it is the nature of drunk girls. ] Still borderline unsanitary though. Oh that's why there's a no sex in the kitchen rule!

[kgbs]

Daisy!

[ he's so surprised by her just blurting details of their sex life out that he juggles and jars his drink enough that some sloshes onto his shirt. he's not even tipsy.

and then she keeps going and illya abandons his drink on the table to lurch closer to her to try and put his hand over her mouth so she will stop saying things!!! ]

Shh! [ he will never go down on you or let you touch him again if you keep this up ( a lie but who cares ). ] That is not their business!

[ he's blushing and he knows it and this is all her fault and he's sleeping in the closet tonight. ]

I am going to sleep on the couch tonight.

[evite]

[ from behind his hand on her mouth, daisy stubbornly insists: ] They don't care!

[ but it's muffled and unintelligible, and his grip is sturdy and firm... which means only one thing.

she has to lick his hand. because she is a child. ]

[kgbs]

[ gross why would you. he yanks his hand away and gets to his feet because while he could wipe his hand on his shirt, he is not that type of person and has to go wash it and dry it appropriately even if...

he's not going to be tmi thank you very much. he's only gone a moment before he steps back out, making a face in her direction. ]

You are intoxicated and I am sleeping on the couch tonight.

[ you hand licker. ]

[realists]

[ jyn was already on the floor, but now she's on the floor laughing because illya's reaction seems so out of proportion for daisy and jyn's naturally easy banter. ]

Did she lick your hand?

[ this is Too Hilarious ] You're my second favorite person, Daisy.

[evite]

[ her nose wrinkles, affronted. illya can do whatever, but how dare jyn. ]

Bitch, I'm your sister!

[ ERGO, YOUR FAVORITE. ]

[evasives]

[ sometimes the universe is looking out for him?? he avoids follow up, excellent, and instead he just gets to fondly watch jyn have a laughing attack on the floor. ]

[ maybe he'll take another sip, even though there's nothing to drink to. he's drinking for illya's poor red face and trying not to himself be amused by his embarrassment, because daisy's right, cassian really doesn't care. solidarity can only go so far illya before he laughs at your overreactions. ]

[kgbs]

You are drunk.

[ and that is a fact.

he settles back on the other side of the couch, ignoring his drink so he can stretch out and cover his face with his arm so he can be alone with his embarassment. ]

[realists]

[ jyn's hand smacks back to whack cassian's knee. ]

He is my favorite and Illya is your favorite and we are each other's second favorite friend and first favorite sister.

[ she points at daisy aggressively before she turns back to cassian, eyes narrowing. ]

And when it wasn't a mission?

[evasives]

[ oh, he's her favorite? has he ever been anyone's favorite before, except maybe his parents. it leaves him feeling very warm for a second, though it could be the alcohol. ]

[ it's ruined when she swings it back around to making moves on people, and he wrinkles his nose. ]

Just... people. Other rebels. Evidently I am not very approachable, so it was easier for me to take the first step a lot of the time. Why are names necessary?

[evite]

[ as she crawls into illya's lap whether or not he fucking wants her to (because he is her favorite and she loves him and she wants to fucking cuddle, goddamnit): ]

Because Jyn wants to make a voodoo doll of them and then drop them off the balcony, duh.

[ jealous cow sister ]

[realists]

[ daisy isn't wrong but jyn isn't going to say that, shrugging expansively and leaning her head against cassian's knee. she can fight those rebels herself anyway. ]

Let her in Illya, it's cold outside.

[kgbs]

[ don't tell him what to do!

but fine, he moves his arm away from his face and curls it around her, bringing her closer to him and further onto his lap. she is just lucky he likes her as much as he does.

loves her. whatever.

he sighs and closes his eyes, content to listen to them talk whilst he does nothing but play human chair for his girlfriend. ]

[evasives]

[ why would jyn want to throw them off a balcony??? ]

[ he frowns down at her head leaning on him. it feels warm but he feels kind of uncomfortable anyway. ]

[ he mumbles it: ] I do not keep a list.

[evite]

[ what if daisy johnson fell asleep right now? she's not going to. but she could. ]

He probably keeps a [ bad british accent ] dossier. Because he's so sneaky.

[ drunk bitches and broken clocks are right twice a day. ]

[realists]

A dossier?

[ with a real british accent. ]

He had a dossier about me. What did it say? Does not play well with others? Oh, I have another. I have never broken anyone out of prison.

[kgbs]

[ illya does not drink to that one because he has not broken anyone out of prison either. he is the one who typically helps put people into prison. ]

My dossier says that I have an Oedipus complex.

[ he is not drunk but apparently he is going to share anyway. ]

And it says I have other things as well.

[ stupid dossier. ]

[evite]

Yeah, but it's, like... [ daisy makes a vague hand gesture. it's a good thing she doesn't have her drink anymore. ] Not the fuck your mom kind.

[ succinct and also true ]

[evasives]

[ he hUFFS!!! there's no compilation of names of the people he's slept with that's too creepy!! and part two of the huff is taking another drink because man he's broken a lot of people out of prison, jyn was just the latest. ]

My personal dossier is classified, and I do not keep any others on people I will never see again.

[ so there. ]

And we would not be here today if I did not know how to break people out of prison. [ JYN ERSO. ]

[realists]

[ ignores the prison thing even though she brought it up. ]

's that why you had a dossier on me? Looking to keep me around?

[kgbs]

It says I have a personality disorder too.

[ there are two different conversations happening now since illya has no idea what jyn's dossier said or why she cares that much. it is just information for information's sake. ]

That could be true.

[evite]

[ truly, no one is listening. it is the drunk girl's time to level sage advice on all parties. ]

He likes you, stupid. [ and as for illya: ] You were an angry Russian who needed to get laid. Now you are a fighty Russian who gets laid a lot.

[ yes. much better. affirmative! ]