meadowlarklogs | all this time

[ After their brief conversation over the network, Sora doesn't waste any time. It's in moments like these that he really does wish that he had a hoverbike of his own so that he could get around more easily, but by this point the train lines are in better shape, so he's able to hop on one and get closer to Nill's neighborhood.

While he's never visited Nill's apartment before, finding his way around is a little easier than it was in other worlds, as the implant will give him specific directions if he plugs an address in. It means that he doesn't run the risk of getting too lost, and within half an hour or so he's reached her apartment building.

Sora didn't know Heine that well, having only talked to him once, and he seemed to have a pretty nasty attitude too. But Nill and him are close, and Sora isn't going to question that friendship. She's upset, so upset that she doesn't even want to be in her own apartment. If he can make it better, then he has to try.

It's something they had talked about before. "Well, how about next time I feel sad, I'll text you?" Now Sora wishes that Nill had never said that, because he never would have wanted her to go through something like this.

Now that he's reached the corner near her place, Sora takes a look around, trying to figure out where Nill decided to wait for him. ]

[Physical pain is nothing to Nill. She's been through so much over the past few years that she doesn't really think twice about her body getting hurt. But emotional pain--that's something she isn't prepared for. When she'd left her own world, losing Heine was like losing a part of her heart--but Badou had been there to fill the void for her on the ship. But now she has...

She has nobody.

Sitting up in that apartment was more than she could take once she realized Heine was gone. He may have been a lot of things and rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, but after she'd shown up in New Amsterdam he'd always put her needs first. She'd told him he didn't have to, that all she wanted was for him to check in and let her know he was alive--which he'd done without question. It was a small slice of stability, but one she'd clung to and built her new life around. Now it's gone, and being in the apartment they'd shared is too much to bear.

So she's sitting out on the steps that lead up to her apartment, where she has been since she realized Heine was gone. She isn't ready to go back, doesn't want to look at their shared space. Though her eyes are still rimmed red from crying (here on the stoop, only when she was certain nobody was looking), she sees Sora before he sees her. Nill stands abruptly, swaying on her feet just a little from sitting on stone for so long, and moves down the stairs towards him. Her wings are pressed in close to her back, and she keeps her arms rigidly by her sides as if she isn't sure what to do with them.

It's a few seconds before she remembers to send him a text to let him know she's nearby.]

Thanks for coming.

[ As soon as Nill stands, Sora spots her and hurries over to the stairs to meet her. As much as he wants to reach out to help her down or even give her a hug, he's not sure that he should yet. He wants to get a better sense of what kind of state she's in before he makes any physical contact, even to use his power. He hopes that she'll let him, but he won't do it without her permission.

Once she's off the stairs and standing a few feet away from him, Sora can see that she's been crying. As far as he knows, there's no good answer for where people go when they disappear. Everyone hopes that they end up back home, back where they belong, but it's hard not to worry. Especially when people have been getting kidnapped left and right -- or at least, that's how it feels. ]

Of course.

[ He offers Nill a small smile, something muted to suit the mood of the situation. He knows he'd be pretty upset if Riku vanished out of nowhere, so he has a small idea of what Nill must be going through right now. It never feels good to be separated from friends. ]

Should we walk?

[ It seems like a good idea to get away from the apartment building, and Sora's looking around them to judge which direction they should go. ]

[Nill very rarely thinks about her appearance, but she suddenly feels a little self-conscious about how much of a wreck she must look like when Sora smiles at her. She reads more in that expression than there probably is, but she can't help it; she is a wreck. Still, she tries to get a hold of herself, taking a few deep breaths through her nose. Sora is just trying to help, and she recognizes that. The least she can do is try to pull herself together for a little while.

She doesn't smile back, she isn't ready for that yet. But she does nod.]

Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.

[As long as she doesn't have go back up to the apartment, anything sounds good. She knows she will eventually, but everything is too fresh right now. She needs time.]

Anywhere is fine.

Okay. We can just wander, then. See if anything stands out.

[ Nill doesn't have to smile, and she doesn't have to act like she's okay either. Anyone in her position would be a wreck, Sora's pretty sure, and he doesn't want her to feel like he's judging her. He's hear to be support, to be a friend, and that's all.

She knows the area better than him, but she seems fine with following his lead, and so Sora heads down the sidewalk, allowing them to walk in silence for a little while in case Nill needs some time to get her composure.

When he does look back to her, he's still wearing that sad smile. All he wants is to cheer her up, but there are times when that isn't an option. ]

Did you want to tell me about him? I only met him once. Or would you rather talk about something else?

[For the few minutes they walk, she stares straight ahead, still moving a little stiffly. Nill is used to silence, but this is somehow different. Usually, she finds quiet comfortable--but this is distinctly uncomfortable for her. It isn't Sora. His presence is helping immensely, even if she can't realize it yet.

No, Nill is uncomfortable because she spent a lot of her life trapped in her own head, unable to say with words how she was feeling. But now that she can, and especially now that Sora has asked her about Heine, it's too much. What is she even supposed to say, to talk about? Explaining how much Heine means to her isn't something she's ever had to do. He's my friend had always been enough. Sometimes, if she really trusted the person, she'd add, He saved me. But now she feels that there's going to be some kind of expectation for her to explain why she feels as if her life is falling apart. People lose their friends all the time; she doesn't think they hurt this much. Or maybe they're just better at hiding it than she is.

Eventually, she realizes that running her mind in circles isn't going to get her anywhere. So instead, she says the first thing that pops into her head.]

Heine is an asshole. [She'd cringe if it weren't true. Nill has done a lot of growing up the past three or so years. She knows he's a jerk, has known it since she was fourteen. It just took her a little time to be able to recognize it.

She doesn't let there be too much of a pause before she adds:]

But he's a good guy. I don't think he ever planned to be. He always acted like he wasn't. But I've never met a person who would do so much for someone important to him without blinking an eye.

[Like take a bullet for them. Three bullets. And it still confuses her how she'd ended up being that person. We're the same. They were, and they weren't. It wasn't something they'd ever talked about, not with words. Just an understanding look here, a gentle clasp of hands there. Enough to let each other know that they weren't alone in the world.

And now that's gone. She really is alone in this world.]

[ Time spent with Nill is always silent on Sora's end, given that she can't talk. He doesn't mind it so much most of the time, as they've got other ways to communicate. Not just the implants, but looks they exchange, smiles or frowns, and gestures. Right now, Sora can tell just from the stiffness in Nill's shoulders and the way she's walking that she's going through a lot. And for once, he actually feels that silence.

It's tempting to reach out and grab her shoulder right then and there, to use his power to take some of that hurt away from her, but Sora knows that he should wait. She needs to say her piece, first.

What he's not expecting is for the first thing that Nill says about Heine to be... that. He stops in his tracks for a moment, hands lifting up near his chest in surprise, but he's also not sure that Nill is wrong. The only time he interacted with Heine, he'd kind of been like that.

Nill clarifies that Heine had been a good person in spite of that, and Sora's arms slowly lower as he moves to catch up with her. ]

I guess in the end, it's those kinds of actions that matter the most. [ To an extent, Axel could be kind of like that too. He might act like he didn't care or was above everything, and he could even be a jerk at times, but when it came down to it he'd pulled through time and time again. ] So... did he help you with something?

[ He glances over at Nill, unable to hide his curiosity. There had to be something to all this, and he only hopes he isn't pushing too hard. She doesn't have to answer him. ]

[Very belatedly, she realizes that this probably isn't how people talk about those they care about. But she doesn't think Heine would disagree with her if knew what she'd said; in fact, he'd probably just shrug, which was as close to affirmation as he got on a lot of things. That thought makes one corner of her mouth tug upwards, almost in a smile, before she notices Sora has fallen behind. She slows just enough for him to match her stride again, and the continues towards--well, wherever they're going.

She doesn't answer his question immediately. Nobody has ever outright asked her why she was friends with Heine. She's always assumed people either didn't care to ask or were a little afraid to know the answer. Sora's leading question is the closest anyone has ever come.

Nill tilts her head back briefly to look up at the sky before dropping her gaze towards the street again.]

Heine saved me from a... bad place when I was a kid.

[Some people might say she's still a kid now, but honestly, it feels like all of that had happened so long ago. But now the dam has burst, and she just lets the story go. She trusts Sora to know--at least, a heavily edited version of it. She doesn't care to give the details, not tonight. Maybe someday, though. This is a step she knows she can't take back, but that doesn't scare her as much as she thought it might.]

He didn't have to. He could have kept on walking, and nobody would have thought twice about it. But he did help me. I'm alive because of him. He gave me the chance to have a life.

[Nill pushes her hands into her pockets as she sends the messages. It's more than she's ever told anyone except Laura, and that had taken over a year of cautious friendship to reveal. But it's... easier with Sora. A lot of things feel easier with Sora. Maybe it's because she's grown up, maybe it's because she's simply too emotionally exhausted to worry about hiding the worst part of herself. Either way, it does feel good to tell someone at least a little of her truth, even if she doesn't get into specifics. She doesn't think anyone would be ready to hear how many people Heine has killed in her defense, or why those people were after her in the first place. Riku, she thinks, knows at least a little of that part, but she isn't about to shed light on it for a while.]

Edited 2019-09-13 04:32 (UTC)

[ On one hand, it might not be the way that most people talk about their friends. On the other hand, isn't that the kind of thing you can only say about a real friend? Sora's surprise had mainly stemmed from the fact that it was Nill saying it.

He doesn't know where they're heading either, but it also doesn't matter. What's important is that they've put some distance between themselves and the apartment, and the walk gives Nill space to get her thoughts in order. The fact that she's revealing any of this to him in the first place is a big show of trust, he can tell, and so he'll take every word to heart.

Heine had saved her life. That's a huge act, something that had altered Nill's trajectory to something better. It's no wonder that she feels so close to him, and that his disappearance would hit so hard. It makes Sora wish that he could have gotten the chance to know Heine a little better, to get to see what was hidden underneath the layers of attitude. ]

Well... [ Sora's pace slows a little, but when he glances over at Nill, it's with a warm smile. ] I guess I owe him a lot, then. If it weren't for him, we never would have met.

[ And that's something to be grateful for, from Sora's perspective.

They round a corner and Sora spots a small park a short distance ahead of them. It has trees and a few benches, adding a little bit of a green to the otherwise urban setting. He points it out, looking to Nill to judge her reaction. ]

Did you want to go sit down?

[The distance is certainly helping; her heart still aches, but not being surrounded by everything that reminds her of Heine, she's able to bear it. And being with Sora, whose presence has always put her at ease, makes the burden feel just a little lighter.

When he adjusts his pace, she follows suit. But she doesn't expect him to say that, and before she can really think about it, she's smiling back at him. But after a split second, she looks down towards the concrete as reality crashes into her again. That doesn't make her smile any less real, but it does make it a little hard to maintain.]

Yeah. I mean, I'm glad I met you too.

[She isn't sure if anyone besides her has ever felt as if they owed Heine anything, but it's... nice to hear from someone else for a change. She glances up when he points out the bench, and seeing all the greenery and the little secluded area makes her chest feel a little lighter. So she nods, adjusting her course towards the park.]

I'd like that.

[ There's no way of knowing what's happened to Heine now that he's gone, but they can hope that he ended up back home, and that Nill will eventually be able to join him back there. Sora isn't going to say any of that because he knows it would sound empty when they can't be sure of it, but maybe he can share the sentiment another way.

So when they reach the park, he gestures to a bench where they can take a seat. While there aren't any animals to watch or even any children playing (in fact, they're most likely the two youngest people in the small park), they can at least admire the trees and grass.

After sitting there in more comfortable silence for a short while, Sora turns himself toward Nill and holds his hand out to her palm-up. ]

Here. Maybe I can help.

[ If she'll let him. ]

[Being in this place, full of plants and life, eases something in her that she hadn't really known was tense. She settles on the bench, wings relaxing against her back a little. Things still haven't really come into perspective for her yet, but this is a step in the right direction.

Sora extends his hand, and she remembers their conversation--about how she said she'd call him if she was feeling sad, so he could practice his power. Then, it had seemed easy; she hadn't been sad. But now that she is, now that he's offering, it doesn't seem so easy.

Or maybe it is.

She trusts Sora, doesn't she? She knows he's offering this because he's a good person. And it might be nice, just for a little while, to not feel the way she does right now. So after only a split second of hesitation, she nods, reaching out to place her hand in his. Even though she tries to hold back, the empathy bond lays bare just how deeply losing Heine has cut her.]

Okay.

[ This would hardly be Sora's first time being overwhelmed by what comes across the empathy bond, but he's not sure that he's activated it with someone who had this much distress lurking beneath the surface. It's a little like being punched in the chest, except that it's a whole lot of grief hitting him instead of a fist.

He breathes out through his nose. Feeling that pain is what will allow him to effectively use his power, and so he doesn't dwell on it long. His chest emits a blue light as he activates his ability, and soon enough the empathy bond is overwritten with that power. Nill will feel a wave of calm wash over her. Everything that was upsetting her won't seem so difficult to face all of a sudden, and while the pain won't fade permanently, it will feel a little easier to handle.

For at least a short time, she'll be able to breathe easy. Sora can only hope that she'll take that feeling and hold onto it, that she'll let it buoy her as she presses forward. ]

[Her eyes dip to the glow at his chest for just a moment before she brings them back up to his face. She can't help it--she's nervous. She doesn't know what this is going to feel like, or if it will even help. Sora has told her what his power is, but she simply can't imagine how it works.

Calmness rolls over her like a wave, and she can't help but suck in a startled breath, eyes widening, lips staying parted for a few moments as she reels from this new feeling--or is it a lack of feeling? In the moment, she isn't sure. Everything seems so much... lighter than it did just a moment ago. The fog of grief she's barely managed to hold back all day retreats just enough for her mind to clear, and she realizes that she's grateful that Sora offered to share his power with her. But she also realizes that just because her feelings are suppressed, or hidden, or whatever it is he's doing, doesn't mean they'll go away.

And she finds that she's alright with that. She remembers someone on the ship telling her once that grief is natural. If she let Sora try to take away all the hurt, she feels like it might actually get worse.

Nill slowly lets her fingers close over his, squeezing once and managing to smile.]

Thank you, Sora.

[It's harder than she'd thought it would be to break the contact, but she doesn't know how much this takes out of him, and she isn't keen on letting him feel what she's feeling for too long. So she gently takes her hand from his, settling it in her lap along with the other.]

That's an amazing power. I do feel better.

[ Sora also doesn't think that completely removing someone's pain would be a good thing. The pain they endure in their lives, the hurt that they suffer through, it's part of who they are. To remove all of that would turn them into a different person, wouldn't it?

When Nill squeezes his hand, he squeezes back, but he makes no attempt to hold onto her when she pulls away. This is all about her level of comfort, and when she decides that she's had enough, that's fine.

It's the smile she musters up for him that makes him feel as if he did his part, and he nods. ]

No problem. Any time you need a little boost like that, you know where to find me. And... when things get rough, just try to remember how it felt.

[ He pauses there, glancing down at his lap. He may have helped, but it all feels so temporary. He knows this isn't a real solution; it's more like slapping a bandage over a wound, rather than healing it.

At first he glances out across the park as he speaks. ] If there's anything I can do to help you get back to him... [ Then he looks back to Nill, setting a hand over his chest which has already lost the blue glow. ] Know that I'll do it.

I will.

[Nill has met very few people in her life she would call selfless, but Sora quickly and easily become one of them. Every time they've spent time together, he's surprised her with his willingness to give, to help. It softens a part of her heart that she'd hardened a long time ago, and she's glad for it. Over the years she's been slow to let herself see the good parts of the world, but Sora makes it less difficult just by being himself.

She bites her bottom lip when she hears his vow, a facial tic she's picked up over the years. Her eyes drop to her lap, mostly so he can't see how glassy they've suddenly become with tears she tries to blink away. He's so nice, and she's in such a rough spot emotionally right now that she can't check how she reacts to it. Eventually she gets a hold of herself, nodding though she still has her eyes glued to her lap.]

Thanks, Sora. I know you will.

[ It's finally time to completely move out of the safehouse and into a place of their own. It had taken some legwork, with Jack forced to search online for an available place that was actually affordable. Not as hard as expected, if only because a megacity was set up to accommodate a huge number of people.

The actual apartment is a small two bedroom in a rougher part of town, but Jack knows that if anything, he and Gabriel prefer that. They can take care of themselves, so it's not like they need to worry about being targets. It's also a place that will actually take only a month's rent as deposit, which is about all that Jack's got. He has a real job now and he's been earning decent money both by betting and participating in the fighting rings, but that hasn't been going on for too long.

It's more than Gabriel's been doing, at least. Jack has half a mind to get a place by himself and force Gabriel to earn his own keep, but even he's not that spiteful. And, even now, he prefers to be in a situation where he can keep an eye on him.

So the deposit has been paid, the digital keys have been transferred over, and it's time to get settled. They make the trip over from the safehouse and then ride the creaky elevator up to the twenty-fourth floor. Down the hall to 246, and Jack nods to Gabriel before he mentally unlocks the front door and swings it open.

The living area which greets them is completely vacant of any furniture. There's a few stains on the floor, but otherwise not much of note. All Jack's brought with him is a backpack with some supplies and changes of clothes he's gathered over the past few months, and his visor.

He shrugs and closes the door behind them. ]

It'll do.

[Gabriel does, in fact, prefer the rougher part of town. Still, he knows he has no room to complain about any part of this, because he'd more-or-less outsourced the whole thing to Jack. He's mostly just glad to be getting out of the safehouse and into their own place, even if he can't guarantee they aren't being watched in either place. Morningstar or the government. Pick your poison.

Speaking of which--]

I'm gonna check for bugs.

[He's got a backpack of his own, which he sets down in favor of moving into the space, giving it a cursory once-over, and then starting to walk the perimeter.]

All right.

[ Jack doubts that Gabriel will actually find anything, but it will still make both of them feel better to have checked. While he deals with that, Jack moves into the room that he's decided is his in order to set down his pack and visor. Again, no furniture, so they're going to need to get themselves some mattresses at the very least.

Just furnishing this place is going to cost a lot, and that only reinforces that Jack is going to need some help if they're going to make this work.

All in all, the situation is surreal, just as it had been when he'd moved into a place with Ana back on El Nysa. To settle down somewhere he isn't supposed to be in the first place is always going to be strange. He never wants to feel like he's getting complacent, but the fact remains that they need a roof over their heads, and at least this way they're somewhat more independent.

He wanders back out into the main room, leaning himself against the doorframe as he crosses his arms over his chest. ]

Hope you're ready to do some furniture shopping.

[There’s no reason for bugs when the whole populace is wired into the system via literal brains, but Gabriel feels better for having checked. He searches the little nooks and crannies, thumbs every smudge on the wall that might disguise a pinpoint hole, and gets down on his hands and knees to check the baseboards. He only looks up again when Jack mentions furniture.]

Oh, you know interior design is not my strong suit.

[Gabriel will live on milk crates without complaint, in a situation like this. Something else to outsource to Jack.]

Whatever you want is probably fine.

[He imagines that’s going to rankle Jack, given the fact that he’s the one who coughed up the money for the apartment, but since when has Gabriel ever let that bother him?]

[ That's the thing when you've known someone for this long. They know exactly how to push each other's buttons, though Jack can admit that Gabriel is better at it. He'd always been more willing to play dirty, to take the low blow when it offered itself in their arguments.

So yes, it does rankle him. It's something of a last straw, and Jack tightens down on his jaw as he crosses his arms over his chest. ]

You're going to need to come do some of the heavy lifting with me. [ That's both literal and figurative. They need to drag a lot of furniture up to this twenty-fourth floor. ] At this point I don't care how you get credits, but I can't do all of this by myself.

[ Jack isn't one to ask for help most of the time, but Gabriel's been blatantly taking advantage so far, and it's at the point where he needs to call him out. He'd done the same thing back on El Nysa, but at least there Jack had Ana. Now, it's just the two of them and that's always been a recipe for disaster. ]

Edited 2019-08-18 21:04 (UTC)

[Gabriel knows that Jack is angry before he even opens his mouth, but what he doesn’t expect is that there isn’t even enough time to be satisfied that his words had the intended effect before Jack launches right into it. He should have expected this to happen sooner or later, he thinks.]

I’ve got a few things going on.

[Nothing that’s bringing in a steady amount of credits, and nothing that’s entirely legal, but he hasn’t starved.]

I’m not here to play house, Jack.

[They can sleep on milk crates, for all he cares. He’s never needed comfort, and he doubts he’d be able to achieve it anyway, given the circumstances of their arrival here.]

And you think I am?

[ Jack's so ready with a response that the words are out of his mouth almost before Gabriel's finished speaking. This wouldn't even be the first argument they've had in recent memory. Their fistfight at the stasis pods on Thesa Station is still a clear memory for Jack, even if it's been months since it happened. He still has no clue what happened to Ana, and that's not something he's ever likely to forget.

So maybe arguing over something as simple as buying furniture might be ridiculous, but it's always more than what the argument's about on the surface, isn't it?

If they're both still here and tolerating each other, even watching each other's backs when the situation calls for it, then Jack needs to know that they're actually in this together. That they're some kind of team, for better or for worse. And Gabriel certainly isn't acting that way right now.

Jack's arms fall back to his sides as he advances on Gabriel, the frown he's wearing etching deeper lines into his face. ]

What, you think I've spent my time here just sitting on my ass?

[Maybe once, getting Jack angry would have been satisfying. Now it just feels a little exhausting. Gabriel is still loath to admit that he deserves this, but he’s starting to think that maybe it’s guilt in the pit of his stomach, which he hates. Even knowing that Jack has a point, Gabriel can’t help but double down as usual.]

We need to be working harder on figuring a way out of here.

[He’s increasingly frustrated by how little headway has been made, and every thing that happens that further ingratiates them into this society is just going to make it harder to leave or fight back.]

All of this—[He gestures widely to the room around them.]—is just a distraction.

[ It's not as if Gabriel's wrong, exactly. Jack's also frustrated that they've made no headway with getting real answers about their situation, though it had been the same old story back on El Nysa too. He'd had to put up with that for two years, which is a lot longer than Gabriel had been there. Maybe that's why he's almost resigned himself to this being a long journey.

He heaves out a breath and squeezes his eyes closed for a couple of seconds. Getting into a physical altercation isn't going to help anything, and he doesn't particularly want to, he's realizing. But they need to be on the same page. ]

I know, but we also aren't going to be able to figure any of that out if we don't have a roof over our heads and some credits to our name.

[ It's a necessary evil, in other words. ]

If something comes up where it's a choice between quitting my job and getting answers, I'd drop it in a second. [ It's something he'd discussed with Clarke, too. ] I want the same thing you want, but we still have to be realistic about how long it's gonna take.

[At this point, Gabriel is just airing his own frustrations—he knows that he can’t fully blame Jack for doing what he has to do, but he’s sick of not having answers and having no good way to get them. Even the other Displaced, the ones who have been here much longer than either of them, don’t seem to have any answers. It’s hard not to feel cornered, and maybe a little bit hopeless. When Gabriel feels that way, he can’t help but lash out.]

It’s taking too long.

[He’d felt he same way in Nysa, of course, but now it all seems to be coming to a head.]

Nobody here knows anything about anything. They’ve made no progress. I’m not gonna let us fall into the same trap.

[ Jack tilts his chin up and narrows his eyes, issuing a challenge. ]

So what's your plan?

[ Jack can't help but push back, but that's always how the two of them have functioned. They apply pressure as needed, and sometimes it leads to a blowout fight, but other times it leads to some kind of breakthrough. They're on the same page here, which is that they need to make sure they don't become complacent. The ultimate goal of finding their way back is top priority, but their methods of handling that are different.

Again, that's always how they've been. They're aiming for the same thing, just going about it in different ways. ]

Part of the reason I took the job at Vyonation is because I figure it might eventually get me access to information.

[Gabriel recognizes that tone of voice, and though of course he knows Jack is coming from a place of logic and necessity, he can't stand the kind of haughty tone, reminding him all too much of when Jack answered to the UN.

It's all performative. Jack knows how things really get done--that in the end, Gabriel will be right.]

I don't think you're gonna like my plan.

[And, to his own credit, he's refrained from pulling out all of the Blackwatch stops just yet--sure, he's shaken a few people down, but given how long they've already been here, there's much more he could do.]

It's faster, though.

You're right, I probably won't.

[ There's plenty of things that Gabriel had done back during Blackwatch's active days which Jack had felt uncomfortable about, even as he'd signed off on them. How many times could you justify actions that fell squarely in the gray area of the morality box before everything started to fracture?

Thirty years, apparently.

Jack and Gabriel are definitely on better terms now than when they'd first reunited on El Nysa, but that doesn't stop the ball of anxiety that bounces around in Jack's chest now. They don't really answer to anyone here, and it's no longer Jack's job to decide how far is too far for Gabriel, but it still puts him in an uncomfortably familiar position.

He keeps his gaze locked on Gabriel, jaw tight and shoulders tense. ]

I still want you to keep me in the loop.

[ That had always been the point of contention. Gabriel had at times thought it would be better off if Jack didn't know something, but that was never true. ]

[Gabriel always has to act like he’s playing three-dimensional chess, even if he’s no closer to finding any answers than anyone else here. It’s part of his air of mystery, and with everything else ripped from him in New Amsterdam, he’s got to hold on to what he can. What he can’t do is admit to Jack that he’s made no real progress on any of these fronts. He talks big about kidnapping and interrogation, but even he knows he isn’t in a position to do that. The EMP had been a fluke—they’d gotten lucky, and he doesn’t expect to be able to pull something like that off again, especially considering how the kidnapping of the UNA soldier turned out.]

Sure. I’ll send along an itemized list of the kneecaps I’m busting.

[What he really needs to do is start honing the powers he has here, but Jack can’t exactly know about that, either.]

You still want to get these chips out of our heads?

[ The smartass comment doesn't do anything to help Jack's mood. His mouth thins out into a line and his expression is completely unimpressed. The thing is, he's pretty sure that if Gabriel had actually come across anything of note in his investigation, he would have shared it with him. There would be no reason to hide that kind of intel in this situation, which means that he's probably come up just as empty as everyone else.

For someone like Reyes, that's not an easy pill to swallow.

At the question, Jack nods slowly, but he also knows that task isn't as simple as they'd expected it to be when they first got here. ]

If we want to do it, we need to find someone to actually perform the surgery and to replace it with a new one. It's not exactly what we wanted, but at least that way we know it's not from some unknown source.

[ Even the straight out of the box implants likely had some software pre-installed to monitor them, but in that case they could hope it would be more run-of-the-mill data collection. Still not great, but better than the giant question mark they're dealing with now. ]

[Gabriel knows he's tipped his hand--and Jack knows it too. Even as they manage to change the subject, albeit a little, the truth is unspoken. He's made no more progress here than any of the other displaced, and he won't admit that he has no idea where to start. He stares Jack down until he relents a little with that nod.]

Nobody's gonna do it for us.

[As in, Gabriel isn't going to trust anyone else to do it for them, especially when the consensus among the displaced is that the implants should stay exactly where they are.]

[ Jack narrows his eyes and shifts his weight, making a gesture with his hand toward Gabriel. ]

So what, you gonna learn how to do brain surgery, then?

[ It's not like Jack is that thrilled with the idea of finding some random surgeon to take care of it, but he has to concede that it would be preferable to whatever the two of them might pull off on their own. This isn't just removing shrapnel from a wound. They'd be cutting into each other's brains, and enhancements or not, he has no clue how their bodies would take to that. ]

Can’t be that hard, right?

[He knows that’s a bad joke, but there’s some seriousness in the proposal. He knows that their chance of finding someone among the Displaced to do this for them is slim to none. Perhaps brain surgery isn’t an “if you want something done right, do it yourself” kind of situation, but Gabriel is starting to see fewer and fewer options.]

We’ve got the healing factor. We’re already in a better position to do this than most people.

[ Both of them are so stubborn that there are times where Jack feels as if conversations with Gabriel are tantamount to turning his wheels in a ditch, but sometimes it's just a matter of being bullheaded enough to keep at it.

He takes a step back, placing one hand on his hip as he bows his head and lets out a sigh. ]

I still think that going to an actual hospital and fashioning a reason that we need our implants replaced is the better move here. El could probably help us falsify records.

[ Does Jack want to owe anyone, particularly an AI who's already kept secrets from them? No, not exactly. But he also doesn't want to get brain damage. ]

If we do it ourselves, then you're gonna have to be the guinea pig.

[ Seeing how Reyes is the one who's digging his heels in on this, it's only fair. ]

Do you trust El?

[Because Gabriel doesn't trust anyone, in this scenario, and he's starting to see a situation where they're going to be asking favors. He doesn't want to be beholden to anyone for this, even if what Jack is proposing is arguably safer in the short term.

As always, he has to think about the long game, and he seems fairly casual about being the one to go under the knife.]

I'm fine with that.

[He's got something of an ace up his sleeve in that department, he thinks, even if Jack won't be very happy to find that out.]

[ Jack shakes his head, because his trust also doesn't go very far. There's a time when he'd been freer with it, but not anymore. Not since Overwatch's messy end, and it's Gabriel himself who's to blame for some of Jack's overwhelming paranoia.

He still doesn't know how much of that had been an outright betrayal. He still doesn't know how much Gabriel had been keeping from him. ]

Okay. [ He heaves out a breath, his eyes flicking down toward the floor. ] You got the stuff for it? I grabbed some scalpels and other medical supplies when he raided that facility, but I think we're gonna need something more heavy-duty if we're cracking your head open.

I’ve got some stuff for it.

[He and Kovacs had made off with some medical supplies and some drugs as well, but unfortunately brain surgery is a little more complicated than that. Gabriel knows what Jack is getting at—if Gabriel is not prepared to do it right now, then he’s just bluffing.

He folds his arms.]

Forgot my bone saw, though.

What a shame.

[ Jack's tone comes out completely dry when he makes that comment, and he glances away, heaving out a sigh of frustration as his arms drop back to his sides. All this effort put into getting worked up and they still don't have everything they need to do what Gabriel's suggesting. ]

To get the right equipment, you're probably gonna have to break into a hospital.

[ Not an easy task, he would imagine, but if anyone can do it, Gabriel could. The question is, will he put his money where his mouth is? ]

[Now he's being taunted, and Jack of all people should know that he's not going to get away with it. Gabriel Reyes will always call a bluff, and even if he can't take care of this one right this second, this is just more incentive to make it happen.]

Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to break into a hospital.

[But Gabriel is, perhaps, further ahead on this than Jack knows, given his excursion with Kovacs in the morgue.]

So many places to break into, so little time.

[ If Gabriel manages to get the necessary tools, then so be it. Jack will attempt to do some sort of back-alley brain surgery on him, and it will likely end in tragedy, but it won't be anything that Gabriel himself didn't ask for.

Neither of them should be so cavalier about this, but they're both too old and disillusioned to put much stock in their lives.

Seeing his opening, Jack actually manages a small smirk as he shoots back: ]

So is one of those places gonna be a furniture store?

[ No, he hasn't forgotten about what started this argument. They don't even have a couch. ]

It was not on my list.

[Probably he's going to be an upstanding citizen and buy furniture, with money he's been making by betting on Jack at the fighting ring, of course. Not that he's going to mention it.]

Maybe if you ask nicely.

[ Jack sighs and leans his weight back on his heels, shaking his head to himself. ]

What do you want, a "pretty please with a cherry on top"?

[ The words come out as an exasperated drawl, and then he begins to turn away. As far as he's concerned, their argument is over. It remains to be seen if what they've discussed today will actually lead to anything, whether that's more bone saws or couches in their lives. ]

Hey, it might be nice.

[He'll worry about furniture soon. The argument might be over, but it was still a good reminder of how volatile the two of them can still be. They've only just gotten here, but Gabriel is already ready to have some time to himself.]

I'm gonna get some air.

[And maybe he'll look at some couches. Maybe.]

Hey, thanks for coming!

[granted, prompto hadn't exactly given jack too much of a choice in the matter. a quick text conversation a few days ago inviting the older man to drinks, to catch up, something of a follow-up from a misfired message during the whole emp crisis. things were somewhat quiet as of late—unnervingly so—after both the emp and the revelation that several of them had been kept for months in a facility outside of the city's walls.]

[it made prompto anxious, and the best way for him to get rid of it was to — well, keep himself busy, really.]

[in the christmas market, late in the morning, with the temperature dropped at a pleasant chill, there's nothing better than traversing the few open stands of food and drinks by the river to try and get something to abate the cold.]

Work's been pretty crazy trying to get things running again, but it's coming along pretty well considering how it wasn't so long ago since the whole Cassius thing. [he's pointing at the stands] Hot cocoa? Speculaas churros?

[ The air has a chill to it, and it seems like each day that Jack wakes up in the morning it's a toss-up for what the weather's going to be. It's been fluctuating through extremes, no doubt a hold-over from when the pyramid had gone down for a few days. It's enough to make him wonder how worse off things would be if it had remained non-functional for much longer. But if the Displaced can be relied on for one thing, it's the ability to mobilize.

Jack wouldn't have necessarily responded to just any request to meet up with someone like this. He's got a job he needs to be at now, and he moved into a new place less than a week ago. There's plenty of other things he could be doing with his time, but Prompto convinces him, if only because Jack technically knows him better than a good chunk of the other Displaced.

He doesn't have much interest in the festivities and he's already holidayed out after Daisy's party, but here he is all the same. He's made sure to layer for the cold weather and he's carrying an umbrella too. The rain's been hitting often and unexpectedly. ]

Whatever you want.

[ Jack isn't picky, so he'll have whatever Prompto decides looks good. He remains at his side as they browse the stalls, his breath misting in the cold air. ]

But yeah, seems like most of the train lines are up and running again. You been burning the candle at both ends?

all this time

NILL (december 2)

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GABRIEL (december 1)

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JACK (december 6)

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