meadowlarklogs | We're talking away I don't know what I'm to say

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We're talking away I don't know what I'm to say

WHO: Quentin Coldwater + You!
WHERE: Red Wings + Dreamscapes + around
WHEN: March 15th-31st
WHAT: Catch-all! Quentin's memories and general hanging around.
NOTES OR WARNINGS: Mental illness, possible suicidal thoughts, character death, all will be marked! Spoilers for The Magicians season 4.

1. Red Wings, whenever

[Quentin is trying to come up with ideas to make Red Wings more popular, and he is still learning the ropes of how this particular city works in terms of PR and marketing. He's making some headway, it's just a process. He has always been better with social media and online interaction than in person, like any stereotypical Millenial. He can be spotted wandering around the place taking pictures; usually 'artistic' intended shots, making the pool table look cooler for example of a nice shot of the bar all stocked.

Outside of that off-hours, he is usually there because everyone else is, or if he's waiting for Eliot's shift to be over. He's fairly shy outside of the people he already knows, but he'll look up if someone comes in or says hello and flash a smile, eager to talk. Quentin doesn't like being alone, he's only not great at asking for company. Otherwise he'll be reading up on his neural interface and nursing a drink.

He can also be found playing pool, helping bust tables for the rest of the staff, cleaning off surfaces to be helpful.]

2. Mental Hospital Dream - TW for mental illness, possible suicidal thoughts

[It is a very drab looking place, the hospital. Everything is in subdued colors and people move like they're sleepwalking down the halls. Doctors in white coats and nurses in blue or purple scrubs walk around, gently assisting dazed individuals to their rooms or to the common room spaces. No matter what is asked of the nurses, they will reply with 'that is not permitted,' and occasionally continue on to say 'because you can harm yourself and others.' The most populated area is the game room where there are puzzles and games happening, but occasionally people do confusing things, shout, scream, or get ushered off by doctors.

There are groups sitting in a circle, their words all sounding nothing more than a strange humming, as if they're opening their mouths and talking but nothing is coming out. Quentin himself can be seen in the far corner, by the windows, a pack of cards in front of him. There are at least three packs of cards that are strewn about on the floor around him, covering the wood floors. He is in gray sweatpants and a shirt, dark hair long, eyes heavily circled with lack of sleep and general hopelessness.]

No, no, I'm telling you, I'm telling you. It's real. I did it. I did.

[His hands shaking, a little manic, he takes the cards out and shuffles them, his fingers moving fast and intently. He either is talking to no one, himself, or whoever is nearby.]

Watch. [Quentin abruptly throws the cards, and for a second, a long beat, they freeze in the air. They hover and stay, and then all of a sudden crash to the floor. It was a miss it and blink moment. He swears and goes to the ground, trying to pick them all up.] No, I can do it, it works, I'm not crazy.

3. Fillory Love Shack Dream

[It's a very peaceful and simple spot in a pastoral type of clearing. A patch of land with a small modest hut, laundry line, a bed outside, and most importantly a large square white space with a stack of multi-colored tiles that all put together can fill up the space. About half of them are already in the mosaic, the rest nearby. The rest of the space seems designed to fit around this square, as if it's all that matters.

A slightly older Quentin can be found sorting the tiles, his hair long and held back in a ponytail. Nearby on the bed a boy of about five or six is sleeping, a blanket pulled up to his chin. Quentin frowns and sets one down that he was working on, adjusting the wedding ring on his finger. He glances up when he senses someone nearby.]

Want to give it a try? It's supposed to reflect the beauty of all life in a bunch of tiles. [He reaches down to pick up a nearby basket.] Peach or plum?

4. Mirror World Dream - TW for Death

[The Mirror World feels unsteady the moment you exist in it. It's in grays and black and whites, it feels unnatural, upside down. Even people used to feeling in control might sense something wrong in this place. Its hallways are long and all in confusing gray tones. It seems quiet, until a scream pierces the air. The scream of someone who is about to watch someone they love die and there's nothing they can do.

No, Alice screams, as Penny pulls her away. It's too late and some part of her knows that, but she can't help her denial. In the hallway, Penny pulls Alice in what appears to be slow motions out into it, her fighting the entire way, and the room inside was once large and beautiful with a very large mirror.

All movement seems to be slowed down to a fraction. The mirror mends, the man diving toward it dies, and the room explodes into eerily beautiful sparks of light. They are blinding as they shimmer throughout the room. Quentin is turned toward Alice and Penny as they escape and then he is torn apart by the light until nothing remains. The room freezes. It rewinds. It starts the memory over. Every time Quentin repeats the action that leads to his death, but if anyone else tries to get in the middle, it all will freeze in time at once. ]

5. Wildcard

[ooc: grab him on the street or somewhere else you want him to be, or message me at waftingcurtains on plurk to talk]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( illya is not much for going out at night. he likes to stay at home and he likes to be with daisy and his friends but he's been trying to do things a little differently lately.

he's been doing that a little more lately, taking on assignments for the petrovs under the guise of sussing out possible assets. that's why he's here and his attention's been caught by the young man playing pool for no good reason.

he gets up and moves over to the table, watching him. )

You are not bad.

( Quentin didn't realize he had an audience but it doesn't bother him; the very rare time he doesn't lose his cool and get flustered is when he's playing games. Poker, chess, pool, any type of game or puzzle, he stays pretty calm and sharp. He is slightly taken aback as the man is, well, giant. Impressively so. Like wow, he definitely works out, and also he looks like he should be playing football or basketball, anything that requires height and size. )

Thanks, I used to play a lot. It's cool to see the game hasn't apparently gone out of style.

( He's not exactly a shark, but he knows tricks and has an incredible skill for math equations which is integral to the experts in billiards. )

If you're good at math and precise with your movements, you can become an expert pretty quickly. It's all about angles.

I have played once or twice.

( but chess was more his game. so, he doesn't do much more than continue to look on as quentin pokes the balls around the table. )

And math has never been my strongest subject. You do equations while you're playing?

( Quentin spins the stick in his hand thoughtfully and nods.)

I kind of do, yeah, a mix of math and instinct.

( He leans over and points toward the ball. ) See I know if I hit it at this angle, with the right amount of force, it will spiral an inch to the side before rolling the opposite direction. It's more like estimations. You still have to hit it correctly or none of the math matters.

( Quentin leans over and hits the ball with a short burst, making it jump over the striped ball between it and the solid beyond, so it only hits the solid and goes in.)

Games are sort of my thing. I nerd out big time about them, sorry.

There is no need to apologize. I do something similar with chess. Perhaps there are not as many mathematical equations involved but there is still a lot of thought involved.

( he eyes the pool table, trying to picture what quentin was saying before nodding. )

And how do you account for things out of your control? Someone bumping the table or bumping you? Or do you account for those?

Not really, sometimes something unexpected just ruins the shot and it happens. I'm normally pretty good at gauging when everything is still around me though.

( Quentin grins.) Or if I know I'm around someone who looks like they're going to cheat, so I fake them out. ( He knows bad players when he sees them. It happens when there's money involved, so a lot of the time he just doesn't play for money. )

I love chess! I'm not like a ranked player or anything, but I enjoy it.

( He's far from a master, but if he spent enough time on time he might be able to be. Quentin doesn't have a competitive enough spirit to be as good as most people. )

Have you ever played life-sized chess? In this book series I love, there were like, pawns and rooks as big as a person and you had to magically move the pieces.

Life sized chess?

( safe to say that he hasn't heard of anything of the sort. he gives quentin a dubious look but it's quickly wiped away because of course life sized chest would be a thing in someone's world. )

And when one piece took another piece, was there an actual battle?

Well wizard's chess is when people magically move the pieces and yeah, they tend to destroy each other. They act like living pieces.

( Quentin always planned on doing something like that, hopefully, once he became a master magician and had more time. And that never came around, alas. His eyes are bright though, as they usually are when he's talking about something that he's enthusiastic over.)

In the story, a giant chessboard was made with life-sized pieces and they were lethal. ( He shrugs. ) But three eleven year olds beat the system so it wasn't that bad, I guess.

Huh.

( on the one hand, illya doesn't want to be destroyed but one the other hand, it does sound like an interesting sort of challenge. )

How did three eleven year olds beat the system?

( Quentin smiles, leaning on his pool cue for a moment. )

I would say because fiction said so, but for all I know it's all true and they were just that magically strong and smart.

( If his heroes do show up here, like they did in Fillory, he just really hopes they're better than the reality turned out to be in his home. Because his heart would for real break over that. )

Are you from a world with magic?

No.

( he shakes his head. )

Unless you count the type of magic that is easily explained with smoke and mirrors. That everyone can do if they learn. That type of magic does exist.

I know a lot of those sleight-of-hand tricks, they're really fun once you get them down.

( Quentin's pretty bad at deceiving, until it comes to magic, tricks, games, cards, the sort of things where deceit is for fun. He's an expert fake magician, but he still hasn't reached mastery of the real magic. And now he never will, because he's here without it. )

Was all this really hard to deal with, in the start, if it's not your usual thing?

( It's been confusing for him, but he is much closer to this in his reality than not. )

This place?

( he pauses, considering his answer. he remembers how difficult this place had been and how the only thing that had really helped was reaching out and asking for help. and that had been hard. he was not good at asking for help but he had to. )

This place was exceedingly difficult and it still is. I've been here for what seems like a year now and I still find things that I do not understand. So yes, it is hard.

(Quentin listens closely to him, seeing that he is the type of man to be very direct, and that's always appreciated. Q on the other hand can talk himself in circles, think himself in double as many circles, and only make partial sense when he opens his mouth. He nods as he listens. )

I'm pretty sure I'll be on the same boat a year from now too.

(He hopes not. He wants to get answers. He feels like he can get them, if he's aggressive enough and asks the right questions. Of course there's the question mark of whether or not he even should. Eliot isn't too happy about it, thinking he's just looking for trouble. )

Has anything helped make it easier?

Other people.

( which isn't easy to admit but it's true. he was completely and utterly baffled by this place when he'd arrived and only through help had he managed. )

I had to ask for help. It was not easy.

( Quentin's smile is instant and genuine, and his very soft heart can't help but warm at that sort of sentiment.)

I've already kind of slid onto the rah rah togetherness is the key mentality. I just ... don't really see how we get through this situation without it.

( They're all lost and stuck and on the same page that way, but Quentin's been mocked and told off before in the past about his Friendship is Magic kind of mentality. It's not all about being a cinnamon roll, he also wants to keep everyone alive. But if this guy was someone who wasn't used to asking for help but did, it's a good sign. )

Is it easier now? To ask for help?

Somewhat.

( it was easier to ask certain people, at least. he wasn't going to ask just anyone if he needed assistance but there were some he would do that with and for. )

I still do not think I would ask just anyone for help but I do have a few friends that I would allow myself to do that with. My preference will always be to work alone.

I only work alone well when it comes to playing cards. Any other time, I suck at it.

(The card playing should be fairly obvious as a loner activity. He likes playing with his friends, that's more casual, and he likes teaching them. But in a serious match focus is required and people are distracting. Quentin sighs and taps his fingers along the cue stick. )

I seriously miss paper. All paper. I know it's a small thing compared to what people get frustrated about us lacking here, but it's books are kind of my thing.

( Also rambling. Rambling is very much his thing. )

Do you think about going home often?

Yes.

( illya actually does not mind the rambling too much. he lives with a few people who do ramble when they want to and it saves him from having to talk, which is something he is very not good at. )

Not as much as I once did but I do think about it and I would like to go back at some point in time. I am in no rush but I left things unfinished and I would like to correct that before I decide what I want to do with my future.

It doesn't seem like we're able to choose that sort of thing right now.

( Quentin has no idea what he would do if the option was there. He can't go back. He also wouldn't go back solely to stop himself from dying because it would have ramifications. If he could pick to go somewhere else he likely would, but right now this is the only option he has.)

My boyfriend doesn't really want us to test fate, this is the only place we can be together.

( And Quentin is thankful for getting another lifetime together. They've done this before, the two of them. Starting over in a new world, accepting it might be the only one that matters to them after some time. )

Is that because he is from a different world than you are?

( he has seen that happen here many times. he himself is an example of that. he does not think he'd meet daisy anywhere else but here so staying here makes a lot of sense to be with her. )

Or are there other circumstances that mean you cannot be together?

( Quentin hesitates; it's not that he has any real reason to hide the situation he's in. He just hates coming off like he's putting a burden on someone else with the truth, but there's no reason to think that it would with anyone. He overthinks, that's all. )

Well .... ( He lets out a breath and shrugs. ) I'm dead. So this is my only chance at anything in general.

( Dead so young and tragically, but Quentin's accepted it. Easier than he probably should. )

You are?

( to his credit, illya doesn't sound surprised about that. quentin is not the first person that illy has met that's dead. it is an unfortunate circumstance but not an unfamiliar one. )

Then, you could definitely do worse than this place. I do not know if I could live here permanently but I have been here awhile and I am still alive.

I'm sure everyone waking up here is confused, but try dying and then being pretty sure this was the weirdest afterlife ever.

( It's a joke but it's also the truth. Quentin was pretty baffled when he woke up here and he isn't so arrogant as to think this is his mind creating something as it dies. He knows that other people here are dead back home so it wouldn't be a surprise to someone who's been here for awhile, but it's still new to him. )

This place isn't bad. It sucks not to see my friends again, but that would've been true back there too, so. ( Quentin shrugs. ) if you want to go home though, I'll cross my fingers for you.

Edited 2020-05-04 20:20 (UTC)

I do not know what I want to do right now.

( it is something he should really decide upon at some point considering he has been here awhile and he wants to hope he'll have the opportunity to go home at some point. )

But no, this place isn't so bad. It could be much, much worse.

red wings

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